Just found out it's a girl. Beyond upset.

Hello all, I just found this site. Three days ago I found out I am having a girl at 14 weeks through the panorama test. I started bawling my eyes out. I have a son already from a previous relationship and want another one so bad.

We did IVF but didn't do the testing because it was an extra 5K and my husbands side is all boys so , thinking high chance for boys. Nope.

I feel like I'm spiraling into a deep depression. The feeling I have is as if someone told me my baby died. I'm so upset, beyond words.

But I think this might be an extreme form of disappointment- having horrible, horrible thoughts about this girl. Husband is beyond happy as this is his first. I don't feel like I'll ever connect to this kid, as i don't like little girls. Not sure how to cope.

Cathie I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down.

Many of us had a very similar experience, that it felt like a child had actually died and been replaced by a changeling or something. I truly believe that this is so difficult because we aren't "meant" to know till we have the baby in our arms. It's hard to love an idea, especially when this idea replaces our original idea of a dream child that never really existed.

I promise that once the baby arrives, things will change and you will connect with her. My daughter is very boyish and not at all a "girly girl" (I quite honestly would not know how to deal with one of those either) Other than liking chapstick and being slightly obsessed by babies she acts just like my boys do. It is all about the way you raise them. My 2 older sons and my daughter get along really well and you will really enjoy your son making a relationship with his little sis.

Be gentle to yourself - many of us have been there where we had very dark feelings for a few weeks. But it passes.

Wishing you peace.

So sorry Cathie. Not much advice other than to let yourself feel what you are feeling. It is a grieving process and it will take time to start to accept and feel better. Everything you are thinking and feeling is valid and normal. Don't feel bad about feeling bad.

Good luck sweetheart.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Sending hugs your way. Xoxo


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