GD and haven't even conceived yet

We are currently TTC and as our first long-awaited attempt is in the books I find myself already gearing up for GD. I so long for a daughter and will be heartbroken if this last baby is not her. I love my son so much, but the desire to have a daughter has only grown stronger over time.
I dread having to tell my MIL and mother that the baby is another boy, considering there are barely any daughters on either side of the family. Mainly I dread them seeing my real feelings, which I'm afraid I won't be able to conceal. I'm incredibly ashamed to feel this way.
I keep telling myself I should not feel this way for a multitude of reasons, but I can't stop the emotions.

Just wanted to let my feelings out. This swaying process has been very arduous and has lasted much longer then expected (most of this year). After all the toll it has taken that would just be even harder to accept a sway opposite. However, I do know would be able to handle it if does occur. I was shocked the first go around when I learned the gender, and never had issues attaching to my son.

Thanks for listening...

I am so sorry i only just now saw this.

I am truly convinced that gender disappointment is something that is just innately born into us and totally out of our control. Please be kind to yourself because it's not something you can help or control. Some of the strongest emotions I've ever had were gender disappointment-related and it was always baffling to me because I'm not a super emotional person normally. Even things that upset other people, I can usually shake off - but not GD!!!! It's very strange. I think it has to be some instinct that some of us just have more than other people do.

I am sending you tons of pink dust!! :heart: