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I'm asking this out of curiosity. Since joining I've noticed that there are WAY more TTC girl posts than TTC boy posts. Do you all prefer girls? Or is it that boys are easier to conceive so women may need more 'help' making a girl?
For me, I have two boys and my husband wants a girl. He would be happy either way, and so would I, but I think it would be fun to add a girl to the mix.
Personally, I wanted a girl from the very beginning but I've only had boys. I was raised in a house full of girls (single mom and grandma, plus my only sibling is a girl), so I just felt like I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, lol. Obviously I love my sons and wouldn't change them now that they're here, but that was my thinking. Now I just feel like since I have two boys already I'd like my chance to have a mother-daughter relationship.
I'm sure everyone has different reasons, but I do think that overall in Western culture today there is a tendency to prefer girls. With greater equality of the sexes, girls are now seen as being all things (she could grow up to be President, but she will also care for me in my old age), whereas boys are still seen as less nurturing and more aggressive and especially less likely to be close with their parents as they grow up. I'm not saying this is true or fair at all, just that the average person is a lot more likely to hold some of these views.
Actually someone here (weeziewoozles maybe?) posted a link to a study about gender preference she'd participated in, and it was super interesting. You should try to find it and give it a read.
Thanks!
It's funny because I have a similar background to you- I grew up surrounded by girls. I'm 1 of 4 sisters, and have 8 girl cousins, no boy cousins. I wasn't sure what to do with a boy either, but I actually preferred boys. My sisters and I were difficult teenagers and my sister especially always butted heads with our mom. I really wanted that mother- son bond, and I'll admit I love how much my boys adore me. I also am happy that I have the opportunity to raise sensitive sons. My boys know it's okay to cry, they aren't pushed to be strong and tough all the time, we encourage whatever play they are drawn to whether it's dolls or cars, and I'm teaching them consent (i.e., no touching others without permission). Obviously things will get harder as they get older, but I hope basically to not raise future MRA's, haha.
Edited to add: I think people wish for a certain gender with some preconceived notions of what that gender will be. Moms often want daughters to have that female bond, it just doesn't always happen. I know plenty of women who are close with their mothers, but just as many who aren't. My husband is very close with my MIL, while my SIL isn't and has always had a bit of a difficult relationship. People often forget that regardless of gender, kids have their own personalities and may not turn out the way that parents had hoped/expected.
I wanted both boys and girls. I always wanted a big family and just assumed I'd have sons and daughters. I really really wanted a boy first and got him. I was very happy with just my 2 boys for many years and did not feel like I was missing out on much - I really had only the occsional passing thought that I wished I had a daughter too. Then, I had my 3rd boy and I just really had thought he was a girl. This is what triggered the GD for me. I did not and do not "prefer" girls, it is just something that I wanted to experience and when I felt like I was having a daughter but it was another boy, it felt like someone had taken "her" away from me (even tho that was all in my mind of course)
I did eventually get a daughter on my 5th try and I'm of course happy for that, but it was never a preference overall and still isn't. Boys and girls are both great, I just was greedy and wanted both. :)
Good way to put it! It would be great to experience both :)Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
I grew up surrounded by girls too , i was a girl between 6 sisters. I didnt had a great relationship with them that time (now its great and I love them so much) so I always wanted to be a boy mom ! but I got a girl at first and wouldn't change this for the world.
I don't REALLY have a preference to be honest. I wanted my first born to be a boy because that's just traditionally how it is and I wanted my then husband to have a son. I think my involvement in raising my brothers had something to do with that also though, it just never crossed my mind to have a girl.
Now, I want a boy because I want my step son to have a buddy close in age, especially since his parents are divorced, I want him to have a place where he feels he belongs you know? I also want to give my husband our own son together, but again, no real preference. They both have their perks!
Boys ARE easier conceived, according to science, but are also more likely to miscarry; the birth rate is skewed for boys, too, though the overall population rate tends to stay even/slightly skewed for women because males are more likely to die for a variety of reasons. It's honestly been my assumption that because of this is why I see so many TTC girl swayers. Your side of the forums are definitely more active, haha.
I'm one of all girls in a heavy girl family as well (with cousins, etc.), but wanted a boy for a lot of pretty heavy reasons, to be honest. I've confessed those elsewhere, but it's sort of a damper why I want a boy so bad!
I have to say though, Greydore, I'm honestly teary reading your post. Seeing you write about how you're raising your sons is not only what I hope to do, but brings me so, so much joy to see you doing. I firmly believe that we need to be raising the next generation of sons to be exactly as you said, not future MRAs lol. I'm so happy you are mothering them the way you are.
I really like this, greydore. You sound like you have a similar parenting philosophy to me. We talk about consent with our boys a lot (asking permission to hug/kiss a friend, and being comfortable saying no if you don't want to hug/kiss someone, even if that person is an adult you trust), and my older boy is a very sensitive, empathic kid. Definitely being a parent has made me more aware and critical of gender stereotypes than I was before giving birth to my first.Quote:
Originally Posted by Greydore