Pregnant but thinking about next one

Hi, I have been reading around on these boards for the past few weeks. Im suffering from gender disappointment and as a way of trying to help myself out of it i have been thinking about the possibility of a next child. I know it sounds terrible but i feel like its the only thing thats making me feel better. I read shettles method before this pregnancy (my first) and thought i timed out when to bd correctly. Looking back maybe i didnt or maybe i shouldve watched more of what my husband and i were consuming. We bd 3 times before i got the peak fertitily flashing smiley on the ovulation testing stick then stopped. I didnt think i was going to be this disappointed about a boy. i just felt like the whole time i was having a girl and now im not. Im due in june and want to know when i can start thinking about planning out gender swaying for a girl for next time. I would like try and make it so the kids are at least a year apart so im assuming i wouldnt start this whole process until around this time next year? Any advice would be helpful. I really dont want to have two boys at all so i want to make sure that my next one is a girl. I dont think we would be able to afford pgd ivf and it doesnt seem like the erikson method has been all that effective :-(

Sorry to hear your feeling some GD, it definitely helps knowing that there is another chance in future. I suffered mild GD with my first and then at 12 weeks found out our second was also a girl and that set off some stronger feelings of GD as we were only planning to have two. I spent many hours googling the accuracy of scans at 12 weeks and what the likelihood of the techs opinion being wrong but he was spot on.

I'm no expect on the LE diet followed by many here as we will be swaying blue but I do know the Shettles timing theory has been debunked so wouldn't stress that you got your timing wrong or anything.

We will likely be swaying this time next year too, good luck.

Most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more Shettles opposites. It just doesn't work. We have found that having one attempt is effective for pink (and probably the only reason why we ever thought timing swayed!!) So what I would do is next time instead of doing 3 attempts (which got us 40% girls even with otherwise good pink sways) is to do just ONE attempt which has been more like 70% effective, even as high as 75%.

All that having been said, to be very honest, swaying is NOT a guarantee and if you really can't handle a 3rd boy you need to do IVF/PGD. that is the only way to be sure you will get a girl the next time.

Re when to start swaying, we get best results starting diet about 12 weeks ahead of when you plan to start TTC.

Hey welcome. I would just echo what the others have said. I would really urge you to consider how you will feel if you sway for a girl and have another boy. Unfortunately, I am coming to this from the perspective of a failed sway, I am expecting my third boy. I experienced a little gd when ds1 was born, I was told at 20 weeks scan he was a girl ( my eldest is a dd) but like you I kicked the can down the road and thought I will try again and surely it must be a girl? Nope ds2. I decided after he was born I needed to do all I could to give dd a sister, I only discovered swaying last Dec and as soon as I found this site, I felt this was it, the answer, coming along just as I was planning to try. I would get my girl. I swayed hard and it was so time consuming but what kept me going was the idea that it would all be worth it when I got my girl! I really thought it would work for me after all I have a dd already. I never really thought about it not working I assumed well the worst that could happen is I get a boy and I have had two of those and coped. I suppose what I did not consider is that it was not just about that I might get a boy, it is that would also represent the end of my dream of a dd, the grief I felt when I found out my sway had failed was awful. I am still in the same situation as I was before this pregnancy ie no sister for dd and I have run out of road,so now I have to deal with it. We will not have any more and ht is not an option. It has got easily and my 20 week scan was not as horrendous as I feared. I even have moments when I feel excited about the baby and am less sad. I hope those moments grow but I still wish I had not tried, thinking about it now it was silly of me to try, I take failure badly so my sway failing was going to be tough.


Swaying can increase your odds your desired gender, there are many many success stories on this site but even if you increase your chances of having a girl to 80 % that is still pretty good odds that you could be one of the unlucky 20% and get a boy. I meet a lady when I was pregnant with ds2 and she had just gave birth to a boy with down syndrome, during oregnancy she had genetic testing which said she was low risk one in a million chance her baby had down syndrome as she told me someone has to be the one and it was me!

Good luck and sorry for the long post!