Wondering how I will ever get over this disappointment

So went for a gender scan at 15w 2d yesterday first words that even came out her mouth was "thats a boy" my heart crimbled it felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach, I went into some sort of zone of not wanting to be there and just wanted to go home to cry. She was asking me questions and I wasn't even listening OH had to answer. I cant tell him how I feel as dont want to seem so selfish. I got home he went back to work straight to our room and cried for hours couldn't believe it. I feel so detached almost like I dont want to be pregnant. Spent half the night crying and being sick from the physical thought of it.

I know so many people will say you will get over it once hes here but I really dont know how I will. OH suggested we go look at boys clothes today and all I could see was girls clothes everywhere I welled up in the shop my 4yr old is devastated too and keeps pickkng up girls clothes saying just incase its a girl. My heart breaks everytime I have to say ita a brother.

I can't being myself to look at the scan photos theyve gone in a drawer at home. I know its a boy but I cant help feeling I soooooooo want them to be wrong and tell me at 20wk its a girl....never going to happen like.

I am now petrified going to end up with depression over this I honestly cant think of anything worse than being in hospital with Mums ans baby girls. I dont know what to do or think, I just want to be sick over and over cant eat anything as the thought makes me sick. I also know my Mum is heartbroken but would never admit it as we aren't the type of family to discuss emotions.

So sorry for the rant I just needed to tell someone...literally crying writomg this.

Izzydreamer, I'm so sorry hun x I'm in the same situation as you. Just found out this week about my third boy- my thread is next to yours on the site so won't go into any detail here. Will this be your second son?
I can't offer much advice as I feel exactly the same way as you. I hope and pray we both find a way through this.

You're in my thoughts, sending hugs xxx

I hate so much to admit this even more but my 1st child is a girl. I have seen all her baby clothes piled up which I was so certain to use again it is like a punch in the stomach when I see it all there and now have the awful task of getting rid.

I am glad I am not the only one going through this at this time

Am terrified I am actually going to get depression from this and the midwife is just going to hate me for having these thoughts

GD is a b*tch no matter whether this is your 1st or 10th experience of it; it's still the lose of a dream.

To be honest, I didn't use to understand how anyone who already had their desired gender could then experience GD, however, I've come to realise that everyone has their own personal 'ideal' and all I can do is offer sympathy that you are currently experiencing GD as it really does rob us of happy pregnancies.

I would say though that I 100% promise you that you, and your daughter, will absolutely love the bones of him once you meet him, smell him, hold him, dress him, feed him, bathe him... be it as a 'love flood' or a slow 'drip drip'.

Have you spoken to your husband at all about how you feel - you don't have to jump straight in with everything, but maybe you could mention your apprehension as you don't know what to expect having had a girl first - I'm sure he is absolutely thrilled that he has a son on the way, and maybe some of his happiness and excitement will rub off on you (?) and I also 100% promise you, as a girl who had NO experience of little boys (an only child, no other kids in the family, only female friends with sisters) that they are awesome - loving, cuddly, inquisitive, and they need exactly the same love and care as a baby girl for at least the first year of their life.

I also know it is of little concilation at this time, but as far as Society in general is concerned, you have hit the jackpot here Hun. You will feel the same way I time :)

Give yourself some time to come to terms with things. There are lots of lovely unisex white/ grey/ silver/ baby green/ baby yellow/ Disney stuff - dumbo/ bambI/ hefalump etc. stuff for newborn and babies of you can't bring yourself to shop for blue just yet. Start a little list of boys names you like. Just take 1 step at a time.

Xx