Losing faith

We've been on this journey since November although this is only actually our 5th month TTC. It is just not happening for us despite having the one well timed attempt each month. I am feeling so disheartened, I'm sick of the diet, sick of the exercise. The pressure is causing problems for my husband and so he is struggling to actually 'get there' - hence the one attempt each month and not E4D. I know my period is right around the corner (I knew I was pregnant with both boys as boobs massive and painful and nothing this month). My BMI is low BUT I am definitely ovulating, getting clear temp shift, high progesterone when tested. I just feel so down about it, the age gap is getting much bigger than we wanted and I just want to be pregnant now and back to my normal lifestyle.With both boys I got pregnant in the first month so have never experienced the pain of BFN month after month and it's horrible. I dropped J and D this month and had an orgasm but still nothing. What can I do? It's our last baby so really want best shot at girl, but don't know how much longer I can continue with all this.

What you have to do is recast the number of months you have been trying in your mind. I know easy for me to say sitting here thousands of miles away but some of those months you did not have attempts and other months you were doing some things that probably lowered odds of conception. So try to think of this as a fresh start - this is the first month we are trying.

What I would do is add in either Preseed OR guanefesin. Not both. Pick one or the other - if you are really dry and sex is painful, Preseed would probably be the better option but guanefesin may help both during and after conception too in case your fluid inside your tubes and uterus is inhibiting conception somehow.

I know it is a challenge but we need more sex. I would be tempted to throw the playbook out the window, even if it ends up being e4d sometimes and e6d other days, that way if O is at all earlier or later at least you can luck your way into it. One attempt means we are literally putting all our eggs in one basket, and if anything goes wrong (like a smaller than normal batch, or hostile environment, or early/late O) then that's it, out for the month.

Keep going with no J and D and female O. Also, something I find coming up again and again is people keep doing shallow release!! No shallow release if you are doing that.

All herbs dropped, right? Even cinnamon and peppermint?

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

What you have to do is recast the number of months you have been trying in your mind. I know easy for me to say sitting here thousands of miles away but some of those months you did not have attempts and other months you were doing some things that probably lowered odds of conception. So try to think of this as a fresh start - this is the first month we are trying.

What I would do is add in either Preseed OR guanefesin. Not both. Pick one or the other - if you are really dry and sex is painful, Preseed would probably be the better option but guanefesin may help both during and after conception too in case your fluid inside your tubes and uterus is inhibiting conception somehow.

I know it is a challenge but we need more sex. I would be tempted to throw the playbook out the window, even if it ends up being e4d sometimes and e6d other days, that way if O is at all earlier or later at least you can luck your way into it. One attempt means we are literally putting all our eggs in one basket, and if anything goes wrong (like a smaller than normal batch, or hostile environment, or early/late O) then that's it, out for the month.

Keep going with no J and D and female O. Also, something I find coming up again and again is people keep doing shallow release!! No shallow release if you are doing that.

All herbs dropped, right? Even cinnamon and peppermint?

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Thank you for the words of encouragement. I agree with the more sex - that's what I said to my husband. We were doing release outside the body except our one attempt. He doesn't struggle with the other attempts - it's simply the pressure getting to him on the 'big attempt' so I think we will do E4d if possible and I will just not tell him when it is the one in the fertile period and hope that helps! No herbs for me - he is on OLE but I think that's good for sperm health - am I right? I do have some EWCM - nothing like what I had with the boys but still definitely there. Not doing shallow release.

Will try to think positive as I agree - many of those attempts were not very good attempts due to J and D, timing being off, delayed ovulation maybe being poorer quality egg, after an abstain so sperm quality not so good.

Thanks for the advice!

((HUGS)) I know how hard it can be. It has taken me 8-12 month when we were TTC #3 and I was getting discouraged with everything. Hang in there. I agree that it sounds like you just need to have more sex to up the odds and to help DH relax. I would definitely not tell him when you are Oing since it seems to cause him some stress.
Atomic has wonderful advise for you. I just wanted to give you a hug and let you know you can do it!!!

I am right there with you. We are going on month 4 of trying and my son happened on the first try. I am really starting to get discouraged and have considered dropping swaying because now I just want a baby. Despite my husband being out of town, my one attempt each month has been 0-4, 0-1, and 0-3. I decided to keep up with the diet and drop all the other things that may be making it harder to have a baby (J&D, hot bath right before, etc) and if still nothing in 2-3 months I will probably just go back to my regular diet and hope for the best. As long as I don't O early this month my husband should be home that day so we will see how it goes.

Hope this happens for you soon too.

Thank you both for your replies. I think the one good thing is now I will just be happy to get pregnant if I do and much less panicky about the gender. At the beginning, I was always freaking out in the TWW incase I was pregnant and hadn't done enough. Now I would be over the moon to be pregnant and would have no regrets - I know I've done everything I possibly can so I'm happy with that. I'll give it a couple more months and then decide whether to start adding attempts or changing diet.

Perfect. Yes that is exactly what has worked for other people in this situation - less info LOL

OLE is supposed to be good for sperm health, eventually we may want to drop it just in case it's doing something we are unaware of. (so much of these things are barely tested)

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Originally Posted by lovepink13

I am right there with you. We are going on month 4 of trying and my son happened on the first try. I am really starting to get discouraged and have considered dropping swaying because now I just want a baby. Despite my husband being out of town, my one attempt each month has been 0-4, 0-1, and 0-3. I decided to keep up with the diet and drop all the other things that may be making it harder to have a baby (J&D, hot bath right before, etc) and if still nothing in 2-3 months I will probably just go back to my regular diet and hope for the best. As long as I don't O early this month my husband should be home that day so we will see how it goes.

Hope this happens for you soon too.

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Ok I hate reading things like this, ladies. There is TONS of wiggle room between giving up totally and relaxing a sway.

Yes, drop all those things that don't work like frequency, herbs, jellies, douching, J and D, hot bath/tighty whites, and especially shallow release.

But when it comes to diet, you can relax on diet without throwing it all out. Just start eating a little more, cheating a little more, increasing the limits just a little to make it all easier to stick to. LE Diet is not like the other sway diets where supposedly if you don't do everything it completely undoes it all. LE only gets more effective over time so over time it is ok to start relaxing not only to make it easier on yourself but also to ensure that your body feels comfy continuing ovulating and getting/staying pregnant.

So here we are at 10dpo - temp drop and the spotting begins...and I know in my heart that something is not right with my cycle. I've never had spotting before I started the diet. I was having a very gradual temp rise after ov but now i do have a good temp shift and my progesterone measured fine when tested so I'm sure I am ovulating, and I also have a very strong suspicion that the egg is being fertilised - I'm nearly 100% sure the problem is with implantation and my progesterone falling off too soon. Often I get a temp drop and spotting at 9/10 dpo then a couple of days temp rise whilst spotting then AF finally arrives. So my question is: how do I sort out this problem? I do not believe we are going to get pregnant until I do. My BMI is 18 but I am ovulating so could this low weight still be causing the short LP even though I am ovulating? Could it be weak ovulation but then would I get such a strong temp shift? I am scared to put on weight and sway blue. Is there anything I can demand from my doctor to help? Really down.

See, here's the thing though. I talk to a lot of people who say exactly the same kinds of things you're saying and then they DO get pregnant. I just really, really don't want you to let this mess with your head because what happens is then you end up so convinced you have some bigger issue going on that you throw out the baby with the bathwater and end up swaying blue and have another boy.

To answer your question, yes, your low weight can be causing problems with your cycle. What it looks like to me is not progesterone though. It is estrogen. At about 7 DPO you are supposed to release a burst of estrogen that maintains your cycle longer than prog. by itself can. So if you're not eating enough (particularly of animal fats and calories) and your weight is too low (since your fat cells themselves make estrogen in addition to the fats you get via diet) then that process gets messed up and your cycle gets shorter. your prog comes back totally normal in this scenario because it isn't progesterone, it isn't "weak ovulation" or whatever, it's a lack of estrogen.

The cure for this is luckily the same as for low progesterone - 1 serv. full fat dairy a day, 4-6 eggs a week, 1 serv. salmon if you like it, red meat if you don't. But since this is an ongoing problem and you are below my cutoff, I'd like you to increase this to 2 serv. dairy, 6 eggs a week, and 2 serv. salmon and/or red meat per week. (I mean 2 servings total, mix and match them as u please)

I think I already had you dropping fiber but if you haven't, drop fiber and do not resume it.

Did I have you on any extra vitamins since you've been on diet for so long?