Originally Posted by
BabsNMK
I'm a month PP with DS #3 and my GD is back with a vengeance. Over the weekend I found out that a friend who had also swayed (on a different site) is pregnant with a girl after her two boys. Naturally she's thrilled and shouting it from the rooftops. But this just started a downward cycle for me. I keep thinking what did she do to deserve her desired gender that I didn't? Why are people around me getting their DG and I couldn't? This is crazy irrational so I'll be calling my therapist to set up an appointment, but I'm so angry at myself for feeling this way. I wanted a daughter more than anything. I still do. And part of me in my mind thinks maybe I can convince DH to go PGD for a 4th, but to be honest I don't want 4 children. My desire for a girl overrides that but I never imagined myself with 4. Financially, physically, I don't want it. I thought this baby would be my last but the idea of never having a daughter is almost crippling to me.
Now with DS#3 I prayed for him to be easier than the previous two, just to give me a break. And it looks like that's not going to happen. Food intolerances, reflux, terrible sleep patterns. It's like his brothers exactly. And while I'll gladly suck it all up for him because I truly do love him so much already, I'm sad and frustrated. I cry now multiple times a day. I wanted this to be it, to move on from this stage, to enjoy a difficult baby because I know it would be my last. Instead I feel like I can't close the door and I'm suffering through the current stages
I could just use some encouragement maybe. I know I'm lucky to have healthy children. I never take that for granted. And there are plenty of people who never get their DG. So why can't I move on and enjoy this?