When do you know you're done having babies?

I fully admit this might be just hormones/nursing oxytocin talking but.....lol, here goes.

When do you know when it's time to stop having babies?

We're so in love and feeling like we're so blessed with our little girl now, and yet I can't quite close the door on one more. I've always said 5 was my absolute hard limit for babies, and we're now at 4. I haven't talked to DH yet for fear of him thinking I was a complete LOON for thinking about this at only 3w postpartum.

But the age door is closing fast and I don't know if this is just cold feet as I approach 40 or if I really want another. I'll be 38 tomorrow and I'm not ready to move on from babies yet. The huge age gap between my boys and this little baby is also a factor I think, as babygirl is almost an "only" with the almost 8 year age gap in between her and the next youngest sibling. My eldest is almost high school age, my middle boy is living at residential ballet boarding school fulltime, so it feels like this babygirl is an entirely new generation.

Still, I feel absolutely crazy for even considering it. Time is running out since I always said I do NOT want to get pregnant after 40, mostly because of all the higher risks for congenital issues for baby. Physically I'm in the best shape of my life and this recovery is going faster than any of my others - but none of that saves me from the risks of aging eggs. However, I also ADORE breastfeeding (nursed past the age of 3 with DS2 and DS3) and no way in heck would I wean early just to TTC especially if it's very possible we can't conceive successfully naturally again anyways.

Thoughts? Experiences? Am I a total nutter for even wanting #5? If we did go for it I'm thinking we'd just NTNP, if I ovulate and conceive awesome, if nursing kills my ovulation until 40 oh well that's that. And I'd also go for every prenatal test under the sun if we had another because of all the higher risks of things going wrong as I get older. I really don't even care if #5 is a girl or not, but I do wonder if I'm just being ridiculous and greedy and just plain crazy not being able to move on yet. :hide:

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As I am about to have baby boy #5, I can honestly say, some days I think we were crazy. But we just knew we wanted one more, so here we are. We just had a nagging feeling that we were missing someone in our family. Now that he is almost here, I am 110% sure we are done having kids. I am 41 now and there is no way I will want another one in a few years. If you truly believe you want another and feel you are missing someone in your family, then do as you plan and NTNP until your cut off.
BTW - Congrats on your precious little girl!!!!

Thanks so much!! You guys are such enablers, LMAO. I don't think we will go through all the excessive effort and cost it took to have this baby again but maybe just leaving it up to nature and if it happens, it happens. I'm not sure I yearn for #5 as much as I feel like we'd welcome another blessing if that was what was meant to be.

Also there are some truly ADORABLE baby boy clothes out there right now - where was all this stuff 8+ years ago? LMAO

I know my heart would not regret having another.....but our retirement finances are another matter entirely! Hah! I know 100% that if it doesn't happen by the time we're 40 then we're done. So I think we will TTC in the next few years but I won't wean to do it, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. If it doesn't then I certainly don't want to give up my last breastfeeding days earlier than I have to either. :)

It is awful nice to be in a place where either way we'd be at peace with whatever happens though.

And congrats on your new little guy Shannshaff! So exciting!! You really must spring for professional photos for your last baby, we don't regret going whole hog on professional photos for this pregnancy/baby.

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Congrats on the arrival of your baby girl. Always nice to hear they're settling in well and that recovery is going smoothly.

I feel it's very hard to talk yourself out of having more kids if you don't feel 'done', I've definitely tried. I'd just let nature and biology take it's course. Your baby girl would probably love a close sibling and if it doesn't happen naturally maybe you'll be ok with just letting time run its course.

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Originally Posted by LacePrincess

I fully admit this might be just hormones/nursing oxytocin talking but.....lol, here goes.

When do you know when it's time to stop having babies?

We're so in love and feeling like we're so blessed with our little girl now, and yet I can't quite close the door on one more. I've always said 5 was my absolute hard limit for babies, and we're now at 4. I haven't talked to DH yet for fear of him thinking I was a complete LOON for thinking about this at only 3w postpartum.

But the age door is closing fast and I don't know if this is just cold feet as I approach 40 or if I really want another. I'll be 38 tomorrow and I'm not ready to move on from babies yet. The huge age gap between my boys and this little baby is also a factor I think, as babygirl is almost an "only" with the almost 8 year age gap in between her and the next youngest sibling. My eldest is almost high school age, my middle boy is living at residential ballet boarding school fulltime, so it feels like this babygirl is an entirely new generation.

Still, I feel absolutely crazy for even considering it. Time is running out since I always said I do NOT want to get pregnant after 40, mostly because of all the higher risks for congenital issues for baby. Physically I'm in the best shape of my life and this recovery is going faster than any of my others - but none of that saves me from the risks of aging eggs. However, I also ADORE breastfeeding (nursed past the age of 3 with DS2 and DS3) and no way in heck would I wean early just to TTC especially if it's very possible we can't conceive successfully naturally again anyways.

Thoughts? Experiences? Am I a total nutter for even wanting #5? If we did go for it I'm thinking we'd just NTNP, if I ovulate and conceive awesome, if nursing kills my ovulation until 40 oh well that's that. And I'd also go for every prenatal test under the sun if we had another because of all the higher risks of things going wrong as I get older. I really don't even care if #5 is a girl or not, but I do wonder if I'm just being ridiculous and greedy and just plain crazy not being able to move on yet. :hide:

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Happy Birthday for tomorrow!! (I am 37 tomorrow!!!!) Everyone is different, I have 2 boys and think 3 is crazy, but still want a third! Everyone is so different, you will know when you're done. And don't worry about your age, my mom had me at 38 in 1980!! Good luck to you and congrats on your tiny baby girl - just lovely :)

SoFullofHope - oh for sure I won't be weaning early. I love nursing, it's my favourite most cherished thing ever and with DS3 he was ready to wean (at about 3.5yo) before I was lol. I'm also pumping to keep an oversupply to donate to a milk bank, which is something I've always wanted to do, so my prolactin levels are probably gonna be through the roof. Which may prevent me from even ovulating at all forever....but then again you never know. I think I will just have to see what happens!

Oh and I have HEAPS of baby girl dresses. A whole closetful!!! There are sooo many barely used new condition baby dresses on the facebook buy/sell groups lol, probably because everyone gets sucked into buying them and then it's really true - you just never use them. So far we've used uhm, two. One little sundress, and the really overpriced rainbow babydress that she's wearing in my avatar. I still can't believe I paid $70USD for that rainbow dress omg what was I thinking!!!!


MiaMelb - lol I keep waiting for that "done" feeling. Nope, still not yet, sigh. DH would probably freak if he knew what I was thinking! I do feel like if this is our last I'd be totally okay with it, I just am not ready to close that door myself quite yet if that makes sense.


mamasboys - Happy Birthday to you too!! 38 isn't that old lol, I mean I just had Tessa a month before 38 so close enough. But I don't have much time to squeeze in another pregnancy before 40....it really depends if ovulation comes back for me while nursing full time, so we'll have to wait and see what Mother Nature has in store for me!

Congrats hun..i think you know your done when you dont need to ask yourself if you want another one..i know for definite this is my last one but if i was having another boy i may have thought again..yikkesssss x

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Originally Posted by fiveboys

Congrats hun..i think you know your done when you dont need to ask yourself if you want another one..i know for definite this is my last one but if i was having another boy i may have thought again..yikkesssss x

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I keep waiting for that "done" feeling but....still don't have it yet lol. Very amazed and grateful to have a little girl but still feel like there's room for one more. Though somedays (most days?) when this household is insane I wonder why!!