Praying and swaying for a girl after 4 boys :)

Hello
I'm not exactly new here but have returned after 3 years of enjoying our four little boys and hoping my longing for a daughter would pass, to no avail! After ds3 I rushed into a 'panic sway' but know I was far to random and that 6 weeks was nowhere near enough time and ds4 followed shortly. I was so smitten with him that I thought I was finally over the irrational (in my mind) yearning to have a little girl and wanted to be free of the guilt I felt every time the feeling overwhelmed me and my gorgeous little boys were cuddled up to me. It had taken over my life for 10 years so I was determined to let it go.

Fast forward 3 years and although I have found a much healthier balance in my life the longing has never completely left me. The difference is that now my dh has opened up and admitted that he has been thinking about it too. I know he was hoping for a girl after ds2 but he always made out that it was just because he wanted me to be happy. He now says he would be happy to have one more baby but want to wait until ds4 is at school which is September 2019. By then I will be 40 and he will be 48.

So that's my rough timescale and we have agreed that if we can afford PGD by then dh will go through with it, highly unlikely money wise but it means a lot to know he's with me 100% on this at last! More likely is that we will go all out and sway but I think his participation in this would be harder to maintain as he's a nightmare with remembering stuff so I think a lot of the onus would be on me! I've put on about a stone and a half since ds4 so think losing some of that would be a good starting point. Then I'm just going to read up and ask lots of questions on here if that's ok?

So blessed that I have this unexpected chance and glad I have the next 18 months or so to plan! Thank you so much for reading x

Hi and welcome! There's a plethora of information here on swaying and Atomic is the best! She's the person to ask for any questions but many of us are happy to help too.

Best of luck to you and pink dust! :baby:

Hi and welcome Northernsparkle!

Yes I'm happy to answer any/all questions you have!! Just hit me as you think of things.

I do want to mention that at 40, odds of success with PGD are going to be quite slim - would you consider donor eggs?

Thank you both for welcoming me!
Atomic, I think PGD is just a pipe dream in reality. We have always conceived on our first attempt with all the boys which gives me hope that we could have a good shot at a good cut off point at least if swaying. Do you know if conceiving quickly is consistent with producing lots of boys? I have read about lowering sperm count being more pink friendly so am wondering if that is something we need to be thinking about but don't know if it's actually far too early to do anything at all yet given that we won't be ttc until about 18 months time.
Is it good in terms of diet etc to have a long run up or is a more drastic change over a shorter period more effective?
Thank you for offering to help answer my questions, I really didn't know where or when to start!

Cut offs don't work though. That's the thing. Most of us on here, myself included, have timing opposites and scientifically it's been as debunked as something can be debunked. https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...le-timing.html

Yes, I have reason to believe that being highly fertile and tending to conceive fast is indicative of people who may be more set for blue, but that doesn't mean that the solution is just "making it take longer to get pregnant". You actually have to decline your fertility a bit, especially for your end of the equation.

Anything longer than 3 months on diet has been effective. I do not think there is any benefit in being on diet for longer than that in advance, though. If you need to do something, go vegetarian.

Ah thank you, I've read your essay and actually it's quite a relief as timing is the thing which sticks in my head from the last time I looked into swaying (obviously not very thoroughly!) and I found it really stressful!
In fact I have been completely stressed out by ttc each time even though it's always been quick. I get totally obsessed. So this could be a contributing factor in a tendency towards boys too, unwittingly swaying blue by obsessing about pink?!
I'm so tempted to move things forward a year in case hubby changes his mind. Which would give me 6 months roughly.
Would having just one attempt in my window after abstaining still be a good tactic for a pink sway or not recommended in a man of 47? Is it more about my fertility which is best tackled by diet?
I'd really like to look into a personal plan as I am beginning to pick up so many blue traits in my lifestyle reading through things on here that I'm scared I'll never reverse it!
Is it best to post in the coaching forums or do you not mind where we ask questions?
Thanks so much for putting me straight on the cut off myth :-)

Yes getting obsessed can mess with your sway to be sure.

one attempt is great, you could not do abstain at 47. I would just have him do regular release every 2-4 days with one attempt.

If you have a plan then yes post in the coaching forums, if not I will track your q's down whereever you post! I will answer all swaying questions usually within 3-5 days max.

Thanks Atomic, I think we have just about agreed that we will go for this Spring rather than leave it another year, so ttc around April (just because we already have 4 summer babies which is already way too expensive for birthdays!).
I'm going to try pretty much giving up meat right away as that won't really bother me. I have some birthday money saved up so would like to invest in a plan. Would now be a good time to start planning? I have just come of medication for anxiety after a really bad couple of years for our family so I'm hoping that won't affect my sway if there's time for it to be out of my system? I'm also on medication for high blood pressure which I have to stay on. I'm hoping a plan would stop me stressing so much and keep my blood pressure down lol!
I think the lifestyle changes needed for a pink sway would be beneficial for me generally anyway so am keen to get going with it 100% and if we complete our family with a little girl at the same time then that would be the icing on the cake!
Thanks again :-)

It's totally up to you - some people like to have the plan in advance, others wait till the last minute (but it's better not to as it does take me about 7-10 days to get the plans back to you)

The medication probably sways pink anyway!

Good luck and let me know how I can help!

Hi Atomic

I was hoping to be able to post back here in the new year to ask about going ahead with a personal plan and throwing myself into our final girl sway in the springtime. However over the past couple of months I have developed a horrible skin condition called Lichen Planus which is an autoimmune disease and the management of which seems to go against everything I had in my head in terms of diet for a girl sway 

As I’m probably getting it all out of proportion as my head is swimming with it all, mainly because of frustration and lack of sleep because of how uncomfortable it is, I was hoping you would be able to sense check what I think I need to do and give a much more informed outlook before I rush into anything or abandon completely!

Basically there is no cure but the condition usually runs its course in 6-18 months then disappears. Until then it’s a case of managing the symptoms and that is through steroid creams or injections (which I’m reluctant to use) and diet. The diet which seems to be most recommended and has best results is the Auto Immune Protocol which in a nutshell advocates:

NO
Dairy
Eggs
Grains / Wheat
Potatoes
Legumes
Coffee Alcohol
Sugar / sugar substitutes
Processed Foods

YES
Organ Meat
Grass fed meat and wild meat/poultry
Fish
Leafy vegetables
Berries and citrus fruits
Onions and garlic
Cruciferous vegetables
Olives and high fat fruits

Basically a diet as nutrient dense as possible so hopefully you can see my frustration!! Also the supplements recommended are Echinacea with Golden Seal Root, Turmeric, Valerian Root tea for sleeping – not sure if these are relevant.

My gut feeling is that following this diet is going to compromise my girl sway significantly (unless I eat barely anything!) and as I don’t want to give anything less than 100% to it, that I should postpone it until this disease shows signs of going, hopefully in the next 12 months. Or am I missing another alternative? I still think I could go vegetarian and have already started cutting out most meats and will almost certainly lose weight which I know is a could basis for a girl sway. Would you agree that this is sensible?

I am desperately sad as I am worried that time is against me as I turn 40 next year and dh will be 49 but am also determined to kick the ass of this horrible thing and get back on track as we were both feeling so positive about giving everything to our final attempt for a girl.

Once I know that it is in remission would a more drastic change to my diet from the AIP to the LE be beneficial in my sway so that we get going with a plan straight away? I’m going to increase my cardio exercise too so presume it’s ok to do that long term?

Is there anything dh could be doing or is there no point until I know I am back on board fully?

Sorry for the length of this post and would be very grateful for your thoughts.

The ugly lesions and incessant itching aren’t exactly a recipe for putting me in the mood for baby making anyway lol!

Thanks again