I think the hardest part is knowing how excited I would be if we found out we were having a girl. It makes me so sad that I feel so disappointed.
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I think the hardest part is knowing how excited I would be if we found out we were having a girl. It makes me so sad that I feel so disappointed.
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I'm sorry. It's a hard thing to go through. I went through it myself last year after finding out we were having our third boy. It just takes time to adjust to the news. It's hard when you have this idea in your head about how it's all going to turn out and then it's different. The disappointment is hard to deal with, I know. I love seeing my three boys together though and I think about what fine men they'll grow up to be. In time I'm sure you'll get excited about your third little guy. He's lucky to have a big sister and two big brothers.
Oh Deb, I'm so sorry it didn't go your way. Huge congrats on your new little man. I know it's hard right now but that excitement will come in time.
Thank you. I am really heartbroken right now and feeling ridiculous for not being content with my kids I have. I feel like I have selfishly made our lives so much harder because I wanted two girls so badly. Why couldn’t I have just been content? I really thought i would be handling this better. My kids are such a handful and it would have been totally worth it for a girl and now I’m just fighting the feeling that this isn’t worth it. This is a crappy feeling. I never thought I would feel this way about a beautiful miracle.
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Atomic I have to ask- because of course I’m thinking of what we could have done differently- we BD on Saturday night then Monday morning, then I had a positive LH surge Thursday afternoon and we BD one last time Saturday night. Could it have affected it because we BD that first Saturday and by Monday his swimmers were more abundant?
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Deb, just wanted to say that I understand. I had a very hard girl sway that failed and although some days are better than others, I have this voice in the back of my head that keeps asking why I wasn't just content with what we had. In the end I know that I'll look back and know that it was meant to be the way that it is, but it's definitely hard to see that now. Wishing you the best....
Thank you for replying. It helps so much to see that I’m not alone in these feelings. My biggest hurtle right now is the voice saying we shouldn’t have tried for baby #4. Why did I get selfish and want another baby and now we have 3 boys? My daughter will grow up with not 2 but 3 little brothers! I had really convinced myself I would be ok if I got pregnant with a boy but I was SO sure I would get pregnant with a girl! I am fighting the thoughts that I wish just one of our boys had ended up being a girl. And then I look at my boys and I know of course I will be completely in love with this boy too!Quote:
Originally Posted by maximbella
I always wanted at least 2 girls and I wanted a boy but I honestly never wanted more than 1 boy. [emoji51] It’s just crazy how my expectations are different from my reality and I’m adjusting to that. It’s like I imagined this whole person and how their entire lives would fit into our family and that was taken away in an instant.
It helped to talk to one of my friends who has a sister and two brothers and she said she is super close to one of her brothers and not close to her sister at all. I’m realizing it’s more about blend of personalities than gender. At least, I hope so.
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Deb - just wanted to say I unfortunately am in the same boat. I’m 26 weeks and still struggle off and on. I’ve had some really harsh comments this week and so it’s been a hard week. We are having our 3rd girl and as excited as I am about that, I’m sad to not have a son. We will be done (unless we adopt a son) bc 3 is probably pushing it for us and some days I question if this was the right decision. I feel if this was a boy I wouldn’t ever question, but who knows. Several people have said “poor husband” to me which makes my blood boil and I always respond that he’s excited to which they said “he’s just saying that” - how ugly is that. He really didn’t have a strong desire for a boy or honestly another baby at all, it was me. He was totally on board or I never would’ve tried, but he was content with 2 also. Sorry - long blurb, just know you aren’t alone [emoji5] Max totally gets it too.
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Yeah I totally pushed my husband into trying for a 4th and now he’s upset that I’m not happy about it. He was completely content with our 3 and I should have been too. And yes the comments are the worst! I hear things like “oh your poor daughter.” Ugh awful! I’m sorry you aren’t getting your son. [emoji22]Quote:
Originally Posted by kat1234
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Was wondering how your doing now? Hope things have become a lot easier for you. I was in a similar position to you this time last year. I came to gender dreaming wishing to achieve a sister for my dd, having already got two boys I threw my heart and soul into swaying, telling myself it would all be worth it when I held my dd in my arms. When I found out I was pregnant with my third boy, I suffered the most awful GD, I was in such a dark place. I was so angry and went over and over my sway to try and make some sense of why it had failed. I was so terrified of having my son and as I had to really push my husband to have a fourth I felt so responsible. But those feelings were gone by the time he was born [emoji3]! What helped me was just to sit with the feelings allow them to be even though they felt horrible. My brain needed to process the information and adjust to it. I took a long time and refused to be pushed into accepting the situation by family members. As I gradually got used to the idea picking a name and selecting some cute outfits really helped, also helping my dd work through her disappointment helped me. My little boy is 7 months now and my oh my he is a gem! He has a smile that melts my heart and everyone including my dd fight over holding and hugging him and spending time with him. He is a real dude and is going to totally wreck my house when he gets bigger but he is super cute and am excited to see the wee person he is going to become. Hope you are taking care of yourself and please express these feelings your having as to internalise them would do you and your son a disservice , sending hugs !
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