Hi ladies,
I feel like I don't really have anyone irl that I can vent to about this and thought since GD is playing a bit of a roll in this that some of you may have had a similar experience or know where I'm coming from.
I've always wanted a little boy after growing up in an all girl family, attending an all girl school and now working in a female dominant environment. I just feel it would suit me. After two children (didn't know about swaying) I now have two wonderful DDs. The decision to have the first was tricky (the unknown, change of lifestyle etc) but knew we always wanted kids so took the plunge. The decision to have the second was the easiest (wanted a sibling for DD1). However really deciding to have a third is proving very very difficult. I've never felt so indecisive in all my life and as a planner my flip flopping on this is very out of character.
My DH is very happy with his two DDs and has been slow to come around to the idea of a third. He feels that the financial pressure this will put us under will likely significantly impact the lifestyle that we can lead and what opportunities we might be able to give our DDs. I totally get where he's coming from, it makes complete logical sense to me, but after finding this site while still pregnant with DD2 I haven't been able to shake the idea of giving it one last try (with swaying) in hope for a son.
After chatting with DH about getting my mirena removed he says he'll be supportive of whatever I want to do. The pressure I feel that this is 'my decision' is weighing on me heavily, particularly given the result may well be an opposite (we both seem to have all lot of girl friendly things going for us naturally). My hope is to ttc between April and July 2018. I just booked an appointment to have the mirena removed next week but I still don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I feel like I'm going through the motions a little without being totally present. Kinda how people describe having an out of body experience and watching themselves from above.
Has anyone experienced a strong sense of hesitation prior to ttc? Does this mean I'm not ready? Or I shouldn't pursue this at all?
TIA for your thoughts.