How many times have you had gender disappointment.
Whether you were swaying or not, how many times did you have the opposite gender of what you wanted?
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How many times have you had gender disappointment.
Whether you were swaying or not, how many times did you have the opposite gender of what you wanted?
Once, DD3. I had it terribly :(
I've experienced it twice now.
I don't think I have had "GD" as such. I still connected with my baby and still wanted her.
I had G first so wanted boy next and I got a boy, then I wanted a girl next and got a girl.
So I had GBG so I wanted #4 to be a boy but it was another girl, was really hoping #5 was a boy but it was another girl.
Just wondering what it will be like to get a gender opposite for a 3rd time.
I had it twice .it was real bad with #3 but not so at all with #4. And no i don't want to find out how it is for the 3rd time!
omg...
Once, with DD1 :( All my life I was sure my 1st child was going to be a boy. Right....
I can't explain why no GD with DD2 :think:
I've had GD with my first, mildly. I was down from the time I found out he was a boy at 26 w until birth. Once he was here... I was head over heels in love!!!
I had terrible GD with DS2:( I found out that he was a he, secretly at my u/s and lived in pain and suffering for 22weeks... I had trouble bonding and it took months for me to say that I was glad he was here. I still feel horrible about that. He's such a sweetheart and I'm so glad that I have him!!
DS3 was a birth surprise... Almost zero GD other than a second at birth when I looked to see what we had. Other than that, I fell totally in love the minute he was born and have had zero issues. I still had a longing for a girl, but no disappointment about him.
I've had 3 opposites now. I wanted all girls.
My first, I wanted a boy and I was more embarrassed that she wasn't for some reason than sad about it.
DD2, I lost it like a real jerk at the doctor's office after the anatomy scan and just bawled my eyes out.
DD3, didn't find out in the doctor's office after the experience last time, had her write it down, SURE it was a boy, opened it at home, nope DD3. More shocked than anything. It's not like I had even swayed, just was so different than my other pregnancies and the ultrasound tech sounded like she was talking about a boy the whole time.
DD3 led to to find IVF while I was pregnant so I guess I always had the desire. It made it easier to cope with DD3 because I knew IVF was an option for us.
I really think that if anyone is going for a final/another child and you cannot do IVF, I really think you need something that is just for YOU- you have to find something you love that you can focus on- whether it be your job, a new job/training, hobby, etc. There has to be a focus beyond your children or you can wallow in GD forever.
I totally agree with this! I have known for a long time that after #4 comes along, we are done and I finally get to pursue Midwifery! I'm very excited about starting my journey "officially"(been a birth junkie and doula for years) and I knew that if this was a boy I'd still have that part of my life to really look forward to(not that I wouldn't look forward to my kids lives...but having something for just ME is soooo important too!!). This is one of themain reasons why I haven't stopped doing the things I love- I am a crafty person and need to have that in my life or I'd feel like I wasn't ME anymore...if that makes sense??Quote:
Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink
Once, with DD2. Before having kids, I wanted all boys. I had DD1 first, and I was just so happy to be a mom, I didn't care that she was a girl. I was also surprised at how much I enjoyed girl stuff. But then I had DS, and loved having a boy, and wanted #3 to be a boy as well. When I found out she was a girl, I had horrible GD. :( Just now getting over it, and she is 19 months.
It totally makes sense and I can tell you from the perspective of finally getting your dream gender, what I said still doesn't change- you have to find something that makes YOU happy no matter what. Getting your dream gender is great but it doesn't solve world hunger or world peace IYKWIM. Your kids will grow up and have their own lives. You gotta live yours too.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaMama