I wanted a boy to have the first grandson
Well I recently gave birth to our first, a little girl, 7 1/2 months ago! I was/am thrilled as I always wanted girls and boys and for your first child it shouldn't really matter!
My husbands parents happen to have ALL granddaughters (10) with my little girl being the youngest. Having no grandsons, I got pressured badly for one by my husbands parents and sisters. They told me how much they hoped I would have a boy and how spoiled he'd be, being the first boy in the family after all those granddaughters. I got told I "had" to have a boy.
Well we found out it was a girl and didn't receive too many comments, however the family and people that knew the family did throw out a couple of "I can't believe it's another girl, we need a boy" and "they are due for a grandson". We moved on.
One of my husbands siblings and his wife began trying for their first child, they got pregnant almost immediately. . His wife and I talk some, and she explained to me how badly she hoped her baby was a boy (remember, this is her first child). I figure this is probably due to the pressure and situation and she probably wanted to have the first grandson as we, and everyone else in the family, did.
She is having a boy and loving all of the attention, my mother in law will not stop saying what a miracle this child is being the only boy after 10 girls, my husbands sisters keep saying how he is the only little man surrounded by "all" these girls and the first grandson. One thing I am really shocked about is how snobby she is being about having the first grandson, I didn't think she was like that. I really feel like my daughter is just looked at as "another" girl.
All of this has left a lot of people in my husbands family jealous. They've contacted me privately telling me (out of no where, I never commented on the matter) and have said how much they wished they were the ones to have a boy and how her son will be favored for being the only boy and none of the other children in the family matter. They've even commented on how snobby the mother is being and how special she thinks she is for having the first grandson. These comments from others have made me feel worse. I really hate that this is an issue and everyone (not just me) picks up on the fact that her son is so much more valuable, being the first and only grandson. So pretty much everyone in the family knows what a big deal all of this is. It's not just me imagining this, others comment on it all of the time. My other sister in law had a daughter last year and lied and said it was a boy up until the baby's birth and then she admitted that she lied because everyone makes such a big deal about it.
Not only that, but I've come on sites such as these to help me feel better, and I've just felt worse. It seems like this happens in other families as well. People are always wanting to have the first grandson (or granddaughter, whichever applies) to be the first, or they don't want their sibling to have the first/only girl or boy in the family. It seems to give a child so much more value. I've heard the only grandson (or granddaughter) be called a miracle, special, and novelty. It's automatically assumed by everyone that since they are the only one they will be favored, spoiled, and achieve all attention. It just seemed to be w desired thing by not only my husbands family, but society in general. With each Girl birth in the family it's just lead up to making the first boy even more valuable when he finally was born. I mean who has 10 granddaughters and no grandsons (makes me feel worse when I realize how unusual this is) ? What are the odds of this? What are the odds I end up in this?
We want to have another child in the next year or so, but can you imagine if its another girl? The smug look on my sister in laws face if we had an eleventh granddaughter, while she sat with her boy.?i can't and I won't. I don't really know what I am expecting to hear, I may never get over this because the issue has already been made and what's been said has been said, but thanks for reading. :bluecheer::bluesperm:
