Are all one attempts equal?

Bear with me, this question probably proves that I don’t understand basic biology! But it’s inspired by a recent thread about IUI which got me thinking I’d love some clarification on timing. I totally believe in one attempt but is there any sense in which where you have the one attempt in your fertile window is better/worse. Say for arguments sake you dtd one hour before or after you ovulated. Does this mean more sperm at the egg and therefore higher chance of blue compared to if you had dtd two days before and some had died off? I don’t strictly believe in Shettles but just wondering if there is anything that is super risky about dtd right on O (if you could pinpoint it). Or is it all to do with capacitation timings? I guess I’m ultimately asking if dtd right at o means more sperm at the egg? Thank you!

Scientists have studied Shettles and the studies that use modern technology to actually pinpoint O, found 50-50 boys and girls conceived every cycle day (and in fact, possibly even a teensy bump on O-1 and O Day - NOT that timing works at all but MAYBE that couples who are less fertile, more set for pink to start with, can only get pregnant with that timing and thus are overrepresented among the numbers of people who conceive on those two days) So I do not believe based on that evidence that timing matters one bit.

I also do not believe that having sex an hour befor or after ovulation could sway. The reason is that it makes the most sense (and science supports) for there to be some reason why boys vs. girls are conceived - some reason that confers a benefit to survival to adulthood to pass down genes to future generations. I do not see how having sex one hour before or after could possibly do that. Diet, exercise, lifestyle factors...these things send signals to your body about food availability, your social standing in a "tribe", how hard you have to work just to get by, etc. These things tell your body about the chances of a baby boy vs. baby girl (baby boys need more nutrients from minute one than girls do). There is no way that DTD an hour or two apart could potentially confer any benefit to survival of one gender over another. Even if it was a fluke that worked somehow, it could not explain things like women with master's degrees having more boys, people around the equator having more girls, etc there is just no way that they are all coincidentally BD with that timing!!

And no, DTD at O would actually be FEWER sperm at egg. In IUI, all those sperm are precapacitated and deposited very close to where the egg will be. In natural intercourse, the sperm will not be capacitated in advance and most of the sperm won't even have time to capacitate before the egg is dead and gone. Plus, they have to all get from the VJ to the egg and many will die or get lost on the way. It's much lower chance of conception (which is why on other sites, you can find people going on for months/years trying to hit that Shettles blue timing - because even when they do it right, it really lowers odds of conception!!

We don't know why any of this works. I have my theories, but there is a very real risk (and I see this happen again and again) where you guys start taking theory (GUESSES) as fact. So instead of just doing what has worked for most people most of the time, people start obsessing over ways to make theories happen when we don't even know that the theories (GUESSES!!!!!) are even true! I very well may be totally WRONG about more sperm = more boys. So please let's just do what has worked for people (diet, exercise, one attempt, Clomid) and not worry about "omgosh how to get less sperm at egg" because we don't even know that that is a thing! :)

Such a fab response, thank you

Love this thank you Atomic xx