TTC a girl- help with frequency please!

Hi

Apologies in advance for the long thread. I have read a lot of the information on this site and other resources and have come up with my swaying plan but I need some help deciding on what to do for frequency before our attempt. I am 35 years old and DH is 37 and I'm sure I read somewhere on this site about the risk of birth defects when men over 35 abstain for 5-7 days before the attempt but can't seem to find the thread again.

These are the swaying techniques I am/I plan to use:
1. My own combination of the IG/LE diet (my BMI is 20.5 and in the past I have had issues becoming too obsessive and borderline anorexic from following a calorie controlled/food weighing etc style diet so I think it's best that I don't follow the LE diet completely)
2. Exercise
3. Calcium and Magnesium supplements (for myself and DH)
4. Cranberry extract (for blood thinning purposes as I have a clotting issue)
5. One attempt at 2-3 days before ovulation (I want to give this a try for 3 months and if I am not successful we will move to OPK positive etc)
6. No orgasim
7. Missionary position
8. Jump and Dump
9. Try doing the lower blood glucose level techniques in the 2ww

We have had one failed attempt last month where we did FBD 5, 6 and 7 days before OV and then 1 attempt 2 days before OV (we were unable to do FBD every day due to cystitis...a problem I often suffer from). My cycles are very irregular so I am using CM as my main indicator of when OV is 2-3 days away and OPK as confirmation (this is after studying my CM patterns for 8 months). The problem is I only know on the day when we will be making our attempt so CFR will be difficult and because of my DH's busy workload I don't think FR everyday will be possible. Given all the other sway methods I'm using, our failed attempt and my DH's age and stressful job, due you think it will be necessary for us to use techniques to lower sperm count and, if so, what frequency would you recommend?

Many thanks for any advice!!

PS. Our son was conceived 3 years ago on the first cycle after 2 attempts over OV following 5 days of abstinence

Hi and welcome, Kerry.

First off just be aware that no frequency pattern has swayed very strongly at all and so I'd do whatever works better for you personally.

The abstinence thread is here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...over-35-a.html

1)That is fine, what I generally recommend for those who have had eating disorders in the past is to just go vegetarian. Be careful with the IG Diet. I actually think that is worse for ED than the LE Diet because you start obsessing over EVERY food and not just your diet overall.

2):agree:

3)At your discretion, stay away from Vit. D though

4) If you have a clotting disorder it is very important you do aspirin and not cranberry. Cranberry may cause miscarriage and you can't continue it into pregnancy like you can aspirin. Baby aspirin 70-100 mg 3-5 days per week, wean onto and off of it. and if you are supposed to, then take it daily (but most people don't and in fact shouldn't take it daily)

5)Ok

6)-8) at your discretion

9) Which ones?

10)The problem is that your CM WILL change on the diet. It all but 100% does and so my suggestion is to get a Clearblue or similar monitor that indicates your "high" fertility rather than just "peak" and then have your attempt the second "high" day for approx. a 3 day cutoff. Do be aware though that you can get more than 2 days of "high" or go straight to "peak" and thus you'll need to have a plan in place about what to do if that happens.

11)CFR has not worked anyway, the stats are totally misleading on that. One attempt is done wiht CFR and it made CFR look effective when it isn't any more effective than any other pattern.

12)I would either have him release every 2-4 days or just "do what he does" and then keep the timing and one attempt. If you really cannot bring yourself to do that (just want to stress again that frequency hasn't worked anyway, and really cuts odds of conception making it even less likely you'll conceive with a cutoff like you want to) then you can do hurry up FR...have him release once, then dump it, then DTD again as quickly as he's able to using only the second batch for insemination. This will also cut odds of conception considerably and thus you may not want to do the J and D - or at least wait 5 minutes after.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions so thoroughly!

Based on your advice I've decided to drop frequency from the sway and just make sure that DH hasn't abstained from releasing for more than 5 days before our attempt. I agree there is no point adding a sway tactic that hasn't shown results and that can decrease our conception chances.

To be honest I have not been following the IG diet very strictly at all as it was too restrictive for my liking. What I've basically been doing is increasing my diary intake (something that was almost non-existent before) and decreasing my salt intake (something I'd been wanting to do anyway). I have also decreased the amount of meat I eat and increased the amount of fruit and vegetables I eat. I will decrease my meat/fish intake even more to make it an almost vegetarian diet. I'd rather take a more relaxed approach with the diet as I know from experience that if I completely deny myself any food then it's all I crave. I agree with your advice in the thread about cheating on the diets that it's better to give the diet 80% effort rather than being obsessed and stressed to give it 100%.

I'm managing to avoid snacking between meals at the moment but will try limit/avoid/delay breakfast during the 2ww. At the moment I just have low fat yoghurt and fruit as I'm usually chasing after a toddler and need the energy ;)

I've stopped the cranberry extract and am starting to wean onto the baby aspirin, thanks!

I've also just brought the Clearblue advanced ovulation tests as my CM patterns have indeed changed.

We are going to hold off trying this month to give the diet and exercise a chance to work a bit more (I've only been on them 3-4 weeks) and to test out the ovulation tests before we make an attempt next month.

Now that I have done my research (quite stressful given all the conflicting advice out there...thank goodness I found this site) and decided what sway tactics we plan to use, I am just trying to relax as much as possible and not stress about all the swaying tactics as I know (from your previous threads) that stress will just undo a lot of the good the tactics are trying to achieve. As much as I'd love a little girl, a healthy baby is all we really want at the end of the day.

Thank you again for your advice!

Increasing dairy within limits is fine, just beware that you don't go overboard with that. When I was on Ingender I found that the people who were doing massive amounts of dairy (like, a gallon of milk a day, that kind of thing) still got boys anyway. nutrients sway blue, even in the form of dairy, so please keep within the limits of the IG/French diet (which believe it or not, still have dairy limited, because of the potassium in them! there are no sway diets that feature limitless quantities of milk!!)

Everything else is looking great!

Hi Atomic,

I'm hoping you can help me with another query.

Unfortunately we have just had our 3rd failed month of TTC and I know that for some people this is a short time period but for someone who conceived their DS immediately and is now over 35 I'm starting to get a little concerned and disheartened. For the first two months TTC we DTD the night before a positive OPK and I did an immediate J&D (also no orgasm and missionary position). This month we DTD the evening of a positive OPK (I took the test at 11am) with a tiny amount of Preseed and I waited 5 mins before J&D (also no orgasm and missionary position). Each month we have only had 1 attempt in the fertile window and my husband has released about 2-3 days before our attempt (as he is over 35).

In terms of my original sway plan, I've managed to stick to most of it (I'm practically completely vegetarian with only 2 meat/fish portions in total each week and I'm on baby aspirin 3-5 times a week). I'm not as good as I was in the beginning with increased diary and decreased salt but better than I was before TTC so that's better than nothing. I was good with exercise in the beginning too but after a couple of colds in a row I've not been as good (I will try to get into it again this month). I stopped the calcium/magnesium supplements as they were making me nauseas.

I was wondering if there is anything I could do to increase our chances of conception without affecting our sway too much? Or should I just be more patient (as you can tell I'm not very good at that ;))?. Unfortunately DTD everyday or in the morning is just not possible for us.


Thanks again!

I want you guys to go to every 4 day method now. Start after AF ends, and have unprotected sex (NO preseed unless yo need a lube, in which case use a very small amount) every 4 days in the "monday/thursday" pattern or every 72 hours, whichever is easier for you to understand. Continue this all the way past when you think you've ovulated in case your ovulation is delayed (even going all the way till your next period begins to be sure) I would extend the amount of time you lay flat to more like 10 minutes OR add in female O, I'd pick one or the other next month though)

Hubby should stop doing days of release prior to attempts. Just to the e4d ttempts.

Do NOT DTD every day. That's a realy bad way to get pregnant OR get a girl for all the reasons I've listed in this thread: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...nk-lately.html

Okay, will give the e4d a go this month then. Crossing fingers.

Thanks again for all your help and for getting back to me so quickly!!