why did i torture myself?

Just got done with a 3d ultrasound to confirm DS#2. I saw penis clear as day at anatomy scan but convinced myself through googling other people's experience with having the gender be wrong that it could still be a girl. Plus my original tech was a student.

Sigh. I really thought seeing him in 3d I would feel something. But I feel nothing for this baby. Just a reluctance to continue to be pregnant. Im so heartbroken. I know it is not something I should feel but I do. I wish I wasn't pregnant at all.

I'm so sorry:( I felt this way after finding out DS2 was a boy. It's such a horrible feeling. I hope that the next few months fly by and soon you'll be holding a squishy baby:HH: xoxo

With my ds3 DH advised against finding out the sex,it really did help,i know i would have been upset. When my pink, perfect,content darling boy was placed in my arms the love i felt and stil feel was incredible.When ur baby arrives im sure you will feel the same. Of course I do feel my family 'jigsaw' isnt quite complete and i stil dream of having a dd.Im sure the lovely ladies on here will help you, xxx

I'm terrified that I will still feel this empty feeling when he gets here. That I won't have that in love feeling. I feel like a monster for not swooning at the ultrasound. I just felt numb. It's been seven weeks. What hope do I have of ever feeling better?

I did the same thing with DD3. Just hoped they were wrong. We brough DD1 and 2 with us and the tech said- do you know what this one is too? to us when we were there and I had to say, Yes, it's a girl. She kind of acted relieved like she didn't want to be the one to break the news to us.

Do you plan on having more kids or are you guys stopping with the 2 brothers?

You will feel better. You see most of us on here do whether we end up with our dream gender one day or not. I can tell you that having a same sex sibling for my first is the best thing I have ever done for her so far. It's a tremendous gift you have given each of them and I know you can't feel that right now. I hope you do someday when you see them playing together, growing up together...I truly believe that if you can only have 2 kids that 2 of the same sex is really the best option for THEM. I know it's not what you wanted but they will really enjoy having each other in their lives. That is what got me through and what I focused on and it really held true for us.

I'm stopping at two brothers. If I sway and get another boy, I would not be able to handle that. I would only want more children if I get a girl not to have three children. I only wanted two children. That is all we can afford. HT is not in our future.

I wish so hard I swayed, but I guess accidents happen.

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Originally Posted by lucysky

I'm stopping at two brothers. If I sway and get another boy, I would not be able to handle that. I would only want more children if I get a girl not to have three children. I only wanted two children. That is all we can afford. HT is not in our future.

I wish so hard I swayed, but I guess accidents happen.

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I'm so sorry you're feeling so low with GD. I have 2 sons and they are 2 years apart in age, they are very close, yes they have their moments, but truly are great mates!!

When I had my DS2 I did look at baby girls and wonder...what if I'd had a daughter. It may take a little time, but when you see the bond they have, I hope like me you will look at your sons and know that you've given them a best friend for life, a brother :-) . Someone who understands what the other goes through and all that comes with being male! That's when I realised that hey, I was looking at it the wrong way. What a fantastic thought, knowing despite how many friends they have, your boys will have each others backs for life :-).

It's true for me, being one of a pigeon pair sibling set, my brother and I although close to a degree, had different experiences I know he'd only share with a brother and I a sister if we'd had them lol.

As time passed, I knew I loved my boys so much I didn't mind stopping at 2, but 5 years later we had a DD after swaying. It took that long, not because we couldn't conceive (thankfully), but because I had to be sure I could accept a third son, sway or no sway! At that point I knew I could, because I just wanted another child. Given time you may feel this way too, but if not, look to what you've given your boys...each other.

I really hope your GD will start fading soon :-)

Just being pregnant can make us have wild emotional ups and downs. I'm so sorry you feel down at the moment.

I'm so sorry.... I know the feeling of wishing your u/s was wrong. I think it's good that you got confirmation that he is a boy, though... I hung on to the hope that my u/s was wrong with my last DD, hoping the penis was just hiding, and that she would pop out a boy. Well, she didn't.

I hope you can get some peace, and maybe get to the point where you are excited for your new little man. I bet your DS1 will love having a brother... that's something to be happy about. :)

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Originally Posted by lucysky

But I feel nothing for this baby. Just a reluctance to continue to be pregnant. Im so heartbroken. I know it is not something I should feel but I do. I wish I wasn't pregnant at all.

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Oh Lucy I'm so sorry. I know exactly where you're at because I'm right there now too, pregnant with DD3.

FWIW ITA with NBP and others that same gender siblings are wonderful if you're only having 2. It's what made me OK with having DD2 (I really wanted sons for every pg and ended up with none) knowing that DD1 would have DD2 long after I'm out of the picture. And their bond is so fun to see! They have totally different interests/personalities but adore each other. Even if it isn't what YOU wanted, your DS will adore him and that will help you see where this 2nd DS fits in your family. It did help me tremendously to see the girls together and I'm really, really hoping it helps a 3rd time too.

Re: wishing you had swayed, if it makes you feel any better, I DID sway, I couldn't have swayed harder, and I still got my 3rd daughter. Do NOT beat yourself up or spend much time wishing you swayed. It is FAR from a guarantee. The only thing worth regretting when it comes to the gender thing is IF you could have gone high-tech and chose to sway instead, IMO. But swaying?!?! Eh. It "works" for some but really, there's a huge element of luck still involved. So even if you HAD swayed you might still be in this position. And some will say that at least then you have peace of mind knowing you did all you could, but believe me, I have no peace of mind from swaying. If anything I let my hopes get too high because of the sway so had that much harder to fall. Not blaming swaying itself or anyone here for that though, not at all.

I know it's hard; I have cried every single day since my scan and probably will end up crying for a long time still. FX we both come back here in months to post that the GD is gone. Until then know you can vent here and not face judgement. And FWIW, I and MANY women here would have loved to have 2 DS, so know that there are definitely some women out there who see you and think what you have is "perfect." I understand it isn't perfect to you, but sometimes it helps to know there are people out there who think you're actually super lucky :hugs: