14 week loss - is it hard to get pregnant again?

I was pregnant for the first time earlier this year. We tried for 2 cycles and I got my first BFP ever in May. That feeling of being pregnant for the first time was a wonderous and beautiful thing, I was fascinated and excited upon every day. Made it past the first trimester, told all my family and friends, even had a few scans after 13 weeks with the "all-clear, all good" results.

Then the NIPT revealed that there was an issue and we had to go through the tortuous decision of what to do. It was a little baby girl. My husband wanted a girl so badly, he was heartbroken. I never told him I was TTC boy for our first. It was all too difficult already. At that point, whilst we were waiting for confirmed results of the chromosome issue, all I wanted was just for our first baby to be healthy and to be able to grow up with us. I wanted my baby so badly, I felt terribly guilty for even wanting to have swayed in the first place.

We had to have an emergency D&E because any day later, they would have made me go through induction of labour, and basically give birth to a baby I will never get to meet and watch grow up.

I'm still recovering emotionally from this, since it was the first time I've ever entered the pregnancy-world and I feel like I have nothing to even fall back on. I'm terrified that the D&E (since it's a more complicated surgery than a D&C) has scarred me and left me in a physically more-difficult situation to conceive. I feel as though my chances of conceiving has been knocked down a few notches. Including my ability to feel as wonderous and "glowy" as I was the first time around.

I do want to stick to the TTC-boy diet because it seems more productive to fertility. I was previously vegetarian but during my first pregnancy which ended, I switched to a meat-inclusive diet just to ensure I got enough protein and iron etc. I'll eat anything as long as it renders my body to heal again, and to be able to conceive again.

Happy to hear from any challenges or success stories from the people in this forum.

Oh no I'm so sorry to read this. :sadflwr:

It is actually super common to have a loss with a firstborn baby. It doesn't mean you won't go on to have many successful pregnancies after this. Tons of women on here have a loss first and have several uneventful pregnancies, even after a D and E. Chromosomal issues are like lightning strikes, they rarely happen twice.

You will want to give it a couple cycles to make sure you're fully recovered and I agree it will be best for you to continue eating meat during this time, not only for chances of blue but also to help you recover more quickly from pregnancy.

I have my guide to swaying after a loss here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...scarriage.html

And my guide to coming back after a sway opposite here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...12-8-17-a.html

Please don't hesitate to let me know if you have any further questions. :heart:

Thanks for the response, Atomic.

FYI for more data on my sway, I stuck to being pescetarian before we conceived. I had a soy-cappucinno every day. The only different thing I did was take Elevit, generally ate bigger portions but still only 3 meals a day. I was renovating a house immediately during the weeks before we conceived, so was around a lot of paint and plaster, was out in the sun a lot, plus more physical exercise than usual. Btw my husband wore tight skinny jeans during the entire time. I do not know anyone else who wears tigher skinny jeans.

I've since cut coffee, no more soy (but almond milk is worse?) so I've switched to coconut milk to avoid the omega-6s. Asked husband to switch to boxers and slim jeans instead of tight skinnies. Asked him to cut back to 1 coffee a day.

Overall, I've gained 5 kgs since my first pregnancy and even though my HCG levels are down to 10 now, I can't seem to shake the weight. Might just keep it if it's conducive to my sway?

Don't eat fish more than 2x a week when trying to conceive.

I'd switch up diet and do more weight training (if possible) and if a small amount of weight sneaks off, so be it. Aim at holding steady, no more gain than that.

Coconut milk we believe to be better than soy or almond, I prefer full fat dairy of course but that's a decent middle ground.

Most of us do find weight hangs on till 3 months past a loss, particualrly with a later loss. So that is not at all unusual and I think it's fine for your sway to do exactly as I mention above - try to hold steady,a nd if a little comes off, it's ok. Weight loss within reason has not been super predictive (like, at ALL) of whose sways work and whose don't so please don't get overly hung up and stressed about it if you do find a kg or two drop off.