7 years ago I had to deal with GD, to this day I still get reminded of it....

My daughter, 3rd daughter, 4th child, was a boy to me right up until the 9th month when I finally saw on the u/s that she was a girl. The look on hubby's face was enough to kill me; I was convinced it was a boy, all the "old wives" tales told me so! Those last 3 weeks were torture. I couldn't eat, sleep, or breathe. I was bitchy all the time and to everyone! I wouldn't talk about the baby and hubby was concerned I wouldn't love her. I was beyond pissed!!!

To this day though, everyone LOVES to remind me of what I went through, like that wasn't hard enough at that time. Hubby was done having kids at that point, though since the day I'd met him, he was never having kids but he HAD to have a son to carry on the name (go figure!). I think what got me through a lot of it was that she has blue eyes, my other 3 all have brown. I was mostly excited that I could in fact conceive a blue-eyed child (mine are hazel, hubby's green).

It took 2 years and almost begging to get him to want to try again. I brought out the PDG guns while I was still pregnant with her and he finally caved. We got jerked around by GIVE and HRC for 3 years before our local ivf clinic decided to start doing PDG. We tried in '98 for twin boys (I'm OCD, I feel this need to have 2 boys to balance things out). Everyone is shocked when we tell them what we're doing, so I gave up talking about it. I'm tired of hearing we're playing God. (If God would have just given me my BOY, we WOULDN'T HAVE TO!!!)

We transferred 2 boys, 1 took, 1 didn't. That was enough to send me over the edge! I wanted my 2!!! 1 wasn't going to be enough!!! Hubby said 1 and DONE! Unfortunately we lost him at 12 weeks. That was the worst! I blamed myself for months.

Here we are though, trying again, only hubby is OK with trying again if we only get 1 boy this time. I guess the 7 years of listening to me talk about having 2 boys in our lives has also got them in his mind too.
I swear the GD turned to depression, I often feel like I battle it, but I am trying to be optimistic this time around and not get so worked up over it. I feel better that even if I don't get my twins, I will have another shot with PDG so I will at least get my 2. Time is working against us though...

Welcome to the site tink:) Thanks for sharing your story, I love that your babies blue eyes stole your heart for you:HH: I will be having my fingers X'ed for you tightly for your upcoming cycle and am looking forward to your announcement of your boys!!

I posted on your other thread but I wish you luck with this next cycle and I hope you join up with the group. I cannot imagine losing your DG once you know they are inside you. That would be so hard.

Welcome, tinksmagic. I'm so sorry to hear your GD has been such an ongoing battle and imagine losing that DS had to have been tragic for you. FX your PGD cycles go as you hope and you're holding a new baby boy (or two!) this year.

Thank you!!! I am not saying anything to anyone we know this time around!!! LOL, and I am steering clear of old wives's tales (kinda hard not to with PGD). I am looking forward to starting over, hubby is too, oddly enough! We're telling everyone it's an oopsie after last time... that and my oldest is getting married in July so how do you explain a pregnancy other than "oops!!!".
Yes, my daughter won me over with her baby blues, very hard to get mad a child who stares back at you with eyes you only WISH you had, lol. She became my little sidekick quickly and has my personality (another thing makes it hard to get mad at when you see a mini you!!!). She is looking forward to being a big sister though (none of the other 3 are though, but they'll get over it ~ again!).