Feel bad about Ingender...

Sooo... something I’ve been feeling weird about recently is Ingender.

That’s where I started off, posted my little nub pic, got all girl guesses and then bam it’s a boy! Queue my GD which was already waiting in the wings.

Anyway, from time to time I go and have a browse on Ingender. Purely to keep up to date with some of the women’s stories. If you’ve been on the site you will know it is largely filled with women who are struggling, some more than others, and the rest are desperately swaying using the Ingender tactics.

Sometimes I find it so hard not to reach out to these women... now I know swaying is not a guarantee.. regardless of what website you follow, but some of these women are in real turmoil over lime tampons... or the fact they had a cup of coffee that day. I feel like I just want to comment on every post saying

‘Hey have you been to gender dreaming...’

I’m scared... I know Tamara will find me!! And I don’t want an army of Ingenderers to descend on me.


Am I the only one who feels this way? I see so much pain and pressure on that website, and having read so many of the essays here, I can see how the GD way makes more sense than the Ingender way.. and I just want to tell them all about it!!

Lil


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Thats kind of you to want to help everyone, nothing wrong with that. Reality is you wont be able to reach everyone unfortunately, and even if you did people will still do what they feel in their heart to be true, no matter what evidence is presented to them. This is one of those things that is never 100% to begin with so everyone just picks and chooses what to follow. Is there private messages on IG? Im not sure how it works but if there are some people or posts who you see and would like to reach out too, someone you've seen around alot on the boards, or have stories you have personally followed, if you feel they are doing something wrong/right and would like to tell them about this site, I see nothing wrong with private messages if you dont want the Admin (I think thats who Tamara is?) to know. I feel it is your right and your personal opinion to share with others even if you did want to go publicly post it, but whatever makes you feel better and take peoples feelings into consideration is great.
The struggle with wanting a gender is real. Even being here knowing I picked this site over IG and swaying is still hard and the feeling of an opposite is still real too. In the end I believe whatever You, those women and myself follow, I do believe everyone will end up with just what they were meant too and even what we needed, even if we didnt know we needed that, or its not what was originally desired. As much as I wanted a sister for my daughter (I grew up with a few and they are my BFFS now) but I look at my son and he is literally my sun and moon, I wouldnt switch his wet kisses for any girl in the world. They are inseperable. And I am still swaying pink. No matter what the outcome for these women, the truth is even if they are following IG, and have failed sways, they will still feel like they gave it their best shots and have that to lean on, because they dont know any different (That goes for everyone, I learn something new every day over on this site!) Try not to get yourself down, its not your fault we cant save everyone in the world :)
I wish everyone gets what their heart desires too!

Hi blessed !

So true what you wrote, thank you.

That’s the thing... there is no private messaging on Ingender so no way to kind of ... innocently make someone aware that there is a different way without making my post public for all to see. Undoubtedly this would cause offence which would not be my motive at all.

Hey ho, like you say... can’t reach everyone ! Just the posts where people have 5...6 of the same gender and are so desperate for that ‘one last sway’, it really sticks with me and I feel bad for not saying something, just in case...

Lil


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You're so sweet could you start a phantom profile lol. Seriously if they are that desperate they should do their own research and find GD. don't you think they tell them to do all these crazy things and then after when it doesn't go their way they think it could be down to that 1 coffee or not doing the lime tampon thing! :sad:

Oh yes trust me I do, I was on there from 2008 thru 2011 and much of the reasons why I do things the way that I do are directly a result of the turmoil I saw on there.

It is really tempting for me to let this take over my life - to go from site to site and try to share info with everyone but over time i've realized the best I can do is make this site as good as I can and then just hope that as many people find us as is possible. :)

I agree you won't be able to reach everyone. Gender Dreaming is such a great site and not that hard to find, I can across it about a month after I started scoping out IG. I can understand wanting so convey the difference to people and help them mentally/emotionally but I can imagine that many of these women are in such an IG bubble that you could put GD right under their nose and they wouldn't be ready to step out of their 'comfort' zone anyway. Not sure if this post makes sense sorry.

Just joining in to say that i discovered ingender and genderdreaming the same day i was doing search on swaying. I feel blessed to have just felt better about this site and stopped reading through ingender hust after 20mins.. im so glad that i found this site the same day and wasn't following that site. As this is our last shot if i followed ingender and had sway opposite then found this site i would have been so mad at my self. Now i truly believe even if we have a 3rd pink i know that i tried my best and it just wasnt meant to happen.
Atomic you are an awesome person with a huge heart helping everyone out even people like me who can't pay anything.
Thanks so much for sharing everything you know and helping everyone.

Like Bluedust, I also found GD & IG the same day. To me it felt like picking a female friend group - do you want high drama, questionable logic... or do you want calm, reason, & the feeling of support (if/when faced with a devastating sway opposite after months/years of time & effort)

p.s. anyone on the internet who has found any of these gender sway sites is savvy enough to be able to read through them and deduce what kind of vibe they have. I think different personalities are drawn to different communities - not a bad thing, just the way it is

Ugh, I feel this post.

I found IG before here and am glad I found GD, since it only took a little research on IG to think, "This seems like a weird nonsensical way to get a boy" after seeing hot dogs, iceberg lettuce and tomato sauce seem like the surefire way to a boy -- luckily my fitness and nutrition background had me readily able to question weird diets ;)

But the vibe there is definitely what made me come to GD full time. I have made legitimate friends and connections here, and despite my own issues here at times that thankfully atomic and I hopefully move on from (lol, I hope, atomic?), I value GD and wish people in IG would value it as much.

I am fully biased against IG, though. Tamara banned me after I think I questioned their practices a bit too much and the actual site admin (I think Maureen?) never responded to me reaching out. Sorry not sorry, but dead blog posts is not scientific evidence -- which is what sold me to GD, ACTUAL sourced info, actual links to studies, etc.

And, more than anything, GD acknowledges this is an odds game-- and IG does seem to criminalize the women who get opposites, always asking, "Well what was your PH?" or "Did I mess up moon signs?" Nope, it's odds. You can see it anywhere. I myself am now either a victim of odds not going my way, or truly having a medical issue with DH's Ys :/ But ultimately, I feel sad at how punishing that IG swayers are to themselves and to each other :(

Just echoing that I feel this post!

Thanks guys for your replies...

I think I get a little too emotionally invested in other people’s stories! So hard not to feel something when these ladies literally pour their hearts out.

I’m actually pregnant with DS2, so my ‘girl sway’ is more research from the side lines. Although I will be raining in the ‘super project ultimate plan colour coordinated project’ sway... as I plan to be super chilled (ha!)

Anyway once I started reading up on the ‘extreme gender swaying’ part on Ingender... the whole test tube+lime+turkey baster method I just thought it wasn’t for me.

Plus like you say TP, the research here is way more backed up, and more modern. And Atomic seems more approachable.

Lil


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