Life with 3

I’m not sure where to off-load these thoughts without sounding highly ungreatful. Just wanting to know if anyone else feels the same really.

So I had 2 boys but longed for a girl for years, finally got my girl last year and she’s just perfect. The thing is, I only ever wanted 2 kids as I find the baby stage really tough. I would go through this stage 100 million times over to have my daughter don’t get me wrong, but I am struggling with lockdown, homeschooling ds1, keeping ds2 happy and bf round the clock my 8 month old. On top of that we are also doing major work to our house and struggling financially to stay afloat.

I’ve felt down and emotional in general. I think probably just tired. My husband though keeps saying things like ‘what did you expect’ ‘you could have had a boy and be in lockdown’ etc etc. I know he’s totally right. I feel like I’m seeming ungrateful. I feel so lucky and grateful. I’m just so tired. I’ve not had a full nights sleep for 8 months and I’m finding having no time to myself really hard. I can’t even have a bath as hubby so busy and dd has stopped sleeping in her cot so is with me 27/7.

I feel like I’m now allowed to moan because I got my ultimate dream. I do feel so unbelievably lucky. I just knew I would struggle with 3 and I feel like I’m sinking. Constant guilt for not giving the boys enough attention. argh! Anyone else feel this way? Will it get easier??

Oh gosh you must be exhausted! I've only got a 6 and 1 year old, and lockdown and homeschooling (with a toddler!) has been hard. There's no break from 24/7 kids, my super clingy toddler still wakes/feeds 2-3 times a night (and doesn't even go to bed until 10-11pm now that we're stuck at home all day), everyone is stressed and tense all the time... And you've got even more going on than me, your feelings are 100% valid and you're doing an amazing job handling it all!
Of course it doesn't mean you're not grateful or don't feel blessed to have your children, but your needs and mental health and time off are important too! But with all the craziness this year many moms are not getting that, you're not alone xx

lol there's been times where I've wanted to run away from my baby girl because she just will not sleep and is driving me absolutely insane, but a second later I look at her and she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and I feel grateful for every minute we have together... lol it's a bit of a storm of strong feelings in these crazy times ��

I hope things start to settle for you soon! x

I have absolutely felt the same way many times. It was like "I had to fight so hard just to get here and in some ways it's harder than ever". I also felt my girl was much more clingy than the boys were (which is of course nice in lots of ways but just any time I needed to get stuff done, it was tough) and as u say "breastfeeding round the clock" that was hardly an exaggeration.

I PROMISE it gets easier. You are in the hardest days now and it will get easier. You're in the hardest part now and as they get older it will all fall into place.

Plus, who isn't struggling with lockdown and all the rest of it!?!

It’s absolutely ok how you are feeling. It’s hard work. I promise it gets easier. My oldest 3 are now 15, 12.5, and 10....and I have no idea how it happened so fast. Remember tiredness mimics depression, and it will not always be this hard.


3 blue 3 pink

Due January 29th

Thanks for the replies. It just felt good to write it down somewhere! No one knows we wanted a girl so bad apart from hubby so it’s hard to express my feelings to any friends. I just feel guilty sometimes as 2 kids seemed manageable but 3 is just a bit crazy.

The boys are so good and really do entertain each other most of the time with very little arguing. My girl however like atomic said is a lot more needy than they were, needing constantly carrying around which can be difficult. I feel bad for sometimes feeling cross for never having any time to myself. I also feel I can’t spend as much time with my boys and I miss them. Me and hubby are like passing ships as he tends to do all of their bedtimes and I do dd.

Glad to know things get easier. Thanks :)