Last Baby - Gender Disappointment Setting In
Hi Atomic and everyone else,
I need some help. Here's the low down on my struggles...
So I have two boys (both were conceived on ovulation day w/ 2 attempts. I was super healthy and at my lowest weight when I conceived them both.) We knew nothing about swaying at the time of conception. The only reason I knew they were conceived on ovulation day is because of how the dates matched up.
I learned about gender swaying while I was struggling with GD with my second. Everyone seems to have a boy and then a girl (or vice versa) so I was devastated that he was a boy. Did some research and learned about pink sways.
After I stopped breastfeeding my youngest full time, I gained 30 lbs. I was eating a more carb heavy diet - my body favors protein and fats and takes on carbs like a fiend. I do have some issues with disordered eating which may be part of it. I also went to only an hour of exercise - no weights - per day. When I conceived my boys I did over an hour of cardio 5-7 days a week as well as training with a heavy lifter.
We fell pregnant in Jan 2020, and had a blighted ovum. It was very, very traumatic for me. In April 2020, I had a chemical pregnancy. In July 2020, I had a 5-6 week loss. In September 2020, another 5-6 week loss. We learned my husband has a balanced translocation that likely came from his father's side and would result in a 60% miscarriage rate.
At this point, I have been kind of doing the girl diet - missing breakfast, having a smoothie or sandwich for lunch, maybe a snack at 2-3, and dinner. I have been off red meat almost 100% since November 2019 when we started swaying. I also opt for vegetarian if available at take aways. This has been my eating pattern since February 2020 after the blighted ovum - but I haven't lost weight but I haven't gained either. In November 2020, I got COVID, so we ended up eating a lot more take out food, And then the holidays - including my birthday. Again, not a lot of weight gain - just really unhealthy eating. But, but, I haven't lost weight.
The cycle I conceived, I actually asked for clomid. Many couples with BT will use clomid to get more eggs and hopefully get a healthy bun. Interestingly, the pharmacy was closed on day 5 and I couldn't get the clomid on board. I normally ovulate between 19-21. So I resigned myself to one more long cycle and we would start trying the new year. During this time, I began intermittent running (run for 45s, walk for 1min) for 30 mins and then walk for another 45-60m 6 days a week at least. I also started intermittent fasting more seriously (albeit lazily) for 14-18 hours. I would have a protein shake (LadyBoss) for lunch or maybe some yogurt, yogurt as a snack 2-3 hours later, and then dinner with my kids - the rule was one portion... Whatever I served myself was it no going back for seconds and thirds. Again, I would emphasis the carb/starch of the meal and only do a few pieces of meat and load up on green vege. I was working for my Mom from 8am-5pm at a daycare kitchen so I was on my feet all day, and then would go home to workout once the kiddos were in bed.
This was my routine the six weeks or so before conception. Please bear in mind my birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas all fell during this time.
So, here's where things get weird...
I was supposed to ovulate on Dec 27th. It was my third ovulation following the September loss. We did it on Dec 24th before Santa and then again early morning the 28th - but I didn't have my regular o signs (plenty of CM, randy as a horse...) Or the after signs (no interest in exercising, tiredness, sore breasts, hungry as a hippo). I figured whatever once I got a twinge in one breast, I ovulated move on. We did not have sex again because I was working an hour away from home that week. On January 1st, I noticed a load of CM when I woke up. I jokingly told my husband we had a second chance and he - in his brilliance - says "The boys are awake?" Because obviously I meant in that moment I needed him right then. 🙄 Miracle of miracles, my kids went to bed early that night (before 6) and that always means mommy/daddy canoodling. Afterwards, I got up went for a walk and then did some computer work. I cleaned up enough to be able to walk on the treadmill without. . yeah.
Fast forward four weeks (four agonizing weeks of beta blood draws), and they found a baby with a heartbeat in the right spot. Except, baby didn't measure 7+3 weeks like if I ovulated on December 27th, but I measured 6+2 which suggested I ovulated either the 3-4.
I saw baby today and s/he measured 11 weeks and I'm supposed to be 10+2. Doc is thrilled - I have NEVER seen him so happy. He is 100% confident that this little one is perfect and will join our family in late September (if not a little sooner because I usually go 7-10 days early). This is a high risk doctor who doesn't usually do 100% confidence. On the ultrasound, s/he looked pretty girly, just really feminine... and I got major girl vibes - of course I have this super realistic whisper (could be boy). But the print out we got has a super shadowy blocky head - boy skull theory- and what looks like a girl nub (which research suggests will rise to a boy nub because we can see it so early) - I mean it's just a line that extends from the abdominal area down towards the legs, pointing down to the hips. Two anatomical strikes based just on that shadowy/blurry ultrasound photo.
I know this baby's anatomical gender is decided, and trust me after last year I desperately want this baby! Boy or girl, but that doesn't mean that I am not uber disappointed that I may never have a girl. I am done with three. I can't go through the losses again. My oldest, I kid you not, we had three losses and then one loss before ds2. Knowing I am more likely to lose a baby is debilitating until it's not.
Thank you for reading my sob story. Here is my maybe failed sway...
Diet - none really calorie restriction but not calorie counting, minimize protein and emphasize carbs - intentionally for 6 weeks emphasized the unhealthy eating with mild restrictions for about a year.
Exercise - on my feet for 8 hours/day and then walk/run cardio for 1 hour minimum. Occasional body resistance exercises (ie lunges and squats). (The walking I was good about for about 6 weeks Ahead of concept had a 3 week break while I had COVID)
.
Supplements - none for me. On baby aspirin just in case we did conceive (doc thinks I have a clotting issue). Husband was on a male supplement and OLE - gelly pills.
Abstained - we abstained for... Four days? Monday to Friday.
One attempt - one attempt, mom didn't "baste" or climax (basted and climaxed with both brothers).
Jump and dump - after maybe 3 mins?
CM - plentiful in the AM - didn't notice any later in the day prior to the deed
Other girly things... Ovulation was late suggesting ovulation issues... I think that's the only one. I mean, we did have a girl outfit in our room and I did do my nails and stuff.....
So, what are your thoughts? Is the skull and girly nub at 11 weeks (my husband wants me to tell you he's 100% confident that it isn't a body part of the baby but a printing artifact) enough to suggest that my sway was a swing and a miss?
We did bloodwork for MaterntiGenome today and we will have a gender reveal at the end of March so I'll know in 4ish weeks. But in the meantime... Am I right to let the GD wash over or am I entering that tide too early?
(For what it is worth, I don't take much stock in symptoms being an indicator of gender. There are two differences between this one and my boys - my feet are SO hot at night and I sweets give me heartburn/major sick)...
