I don't think it's greedy Hun, I think it is a perfectly natural feeling (to want to raise/ experience both genders). IMO you only live once, so might as well live the life you want and love with as few regrets as possible :) xx
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I don't think it's greedy Hun, I think it is a perfectly natural feeling (to want to raise/ experience both genders). IMO you only live once, so might as well live the life you want and love with as few regrets as possible :) xx
I didn't find out with either of mine but defo will next time but pron won't tell anyone else. That way either way I can deal with it my own way. But with ds2 the final few weeks of my pregnancy were filled with anxiety over if it's a boy it girl. I'd love the surprise of a girl in the delivery room but dint think I could handle a third boy surprise I'd rather know but as I say not tell anyone so don't have to hear the condolences that everyone else can't wait to hand out!
Agree with the regrets though. My fav saying it everyone is that when I look back on my life as an old woman I will never regret the children I've had, just the ones I didn't when I am young enough to try once more. At least then I'll know if I have another boy I'll have given it my all and what will be will be. At least I can say I tried and I'll still have a beautiful boy.
I felt exactly the same MOB. Where's the surprise when i already have 3 boys. I was ill from 6/7 weeks. I was wondering if i was totally selfish having another baby instead of just enjoying our family. Dh was on board, but for me mainly, he would not have regretted NOT having another despite wanting a daughter badly too. He could have lived with it. When i was feeling permanently hung over, 99.9% sure it was ds4 on the way, i couldn't get excited. I felt rough and wondered how i would cope with the sadness when gender was confirmed. I felt i didn't deserve any baby. The scans were my high points, seeing a blob develop into a little wriggling baby was magical. At my 12 week scan she said it looked like a boy. I was very down but still loved my rainbow baby boy. But it was the end of the dream, my dream, and the worry of my being selfish and not being happy with my lot was playing on my mind. I was still feeling awful and i just hoped I'd get excited once the illness stage passed. So many mixed emotions. I guess i feel guilty and shallow at being giddy and so excited, lottery win happy, all over gender.... I'm sure it will haunt me just like gd has done. I'm still scared the harmony test, scans at 16&17 weeks turn out to be wrong xx
I was really hoping that once I am pregnant I'll be able to just say that the baby is whatever gender they are, there's no changing it now and just get on with it.
I don't want to find out but I was actually considering telling people that we already knew and it was a boy, I think I could deal with the 'another boy' comments easier than the 'wonder if you'll get a girl' comments and the 'if it's a girl will you stop?' Like I've only had so many to get a girl.
I think I need something else to take my mind off it all, but don't want to start anything that will just add to stress.
I've already got all ds2s birthday presents for October, and 2 of ds4s again for October, and a couple of Christmas presents. But everything I look at there's those reminders of the things I still can't buy.
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I has a blighted ovum just before this pg, i had loads of pg symptoms but the baby was not meant to be, so even though a sticky healthy growing bean was my priority, gender was still there, sometimes in the background and other times very much taking over my thoughts. I think its hard when you feel the way we do for it to not be an issue despite our best intentions xxx
Health is always the top priority but it would be so nice to just not care about gender. I was lucky in done respects as I did want boys first, so although I really didn't care that much with my first I was over the moon to be having a healthy boy. I know some people want a girl from that very first baby and just don't get them. That must be even harder.
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This! This is exactly the same as DH! He really wants a girl but will do it for he he could carry on not trying once more for a girl! I just know in my heart I can't! I need to at least try!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs_Incredible
Soo delighted you've got your daughter baking away mrs incredible! Helps give us all hope I think!
I think this is the one place where I don't feel like "urgh SHE got a girl" because I know how hard people have tried and we are all in this together. I think that's why I feel like such a cow towards my friend who just had a boy. We first met through a forum similar to this but just for parenting after our 1st babies were born. Her girl in jan my boy in feb. We were both ttc number 2 quite quickly after so got chatting. Even then she wanted a boy and she joked about swapping when we both found out we were having another of what we already had. She looked into timing for her 3rd but had a 3rd girl. And it was more by luck than anything else that she got a boy for her 4th. I should be happy for her, and I am. But I still feel like why her and not me.
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I feel happy for the ladies on here too. I think it's because we are all working so damn hard for our dg while those irl seem to get it so easy it makes me mad. After my mmc I asked atomic to dial back my sway a bit as I was afraid it would happen again, but fast forward 2 months and I'm back in full swing ... even tho its still at the back of my mind that things could go wrong again.
You know what, it just hit me. Why I feel like this when I had wanted my friend to be happy and have the boy she dreamed of. I'm worried I've lost her. Like my other friend who, after 2 boys followed by a girl forgot what it was like to want a child of a certain gender so desperately. What if next time I try to talk to her about wanting a girl she just brushes me off? What if she now forgets what it was like? It's one more person to potentially hide my feelings from, one less person who understands me.
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You have us mob. Might be worth reminding her if she does brush you off tho, just say that it hurts to be brushed off when she understood before she got get dg. Nothing to lose by it. Then again, she might remember that pain enough to still be there for you. Xx
Thanks hun. I don't talk much about myself to my friends or family, I'm usually the listener, I even feel bad if I talk too much about me on forums LMAO So it could be a while until I even have to approach the subject.
I don't have anyone irl to talk to either. My best friend has 0 kids. My sisters got one of each straight away.
My temp dropped today :( I'm 9dpo and usually only get a 10 day lp
Ok I thought I replied to this yesterday but now can't see the reply.
My best friend recently had a little taste of GD and I'm not sure how she is doing with it now. It is something that's difficult to approach and a tricky ground to tread, even for those of us who have been there. Everyone deals with differently and it could be that she's ok with it all now and was just shocked as she was so certain that she'd have a boy.
Sorry about your temp dip.
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It went back up today :)
It can be hard to bring gd up. Some people can be very defensive. A friend of mine said with her first "it better not be a boy" and he was, but when preg with her 2nd (a girl) she was talking about how she would never say anything about wanting or not wanting one or the other as long as they are ok. All I could think was - you liar!!
She said that she 'couldn't get her head around the fact she's a girl' and that she got upset when she went with her mum to buy girls stuff instead of boys. So I think I'll probably ask if she's got used to her being a girl now, that way it isn't implying anything. I also worry what people will think of me if I reveal too much, so it will be hard to ask with out letting on to my own feelings.
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Oh and yay for temp rising again
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Thanks. Yeah I'd go with the being used to a girl thing. I don't like letting on either. I always just try to laugh off any "trying for a boy" comments. I always feel like, if I say I want a boy, then have a girl people will think I don't want a girl at all, but that's not true iykwim. Also, I feel like certain people would take pleasure in the fact I didn't get what I wanted.
I know what you mean. I always tell people that IF we do have another that at this point I'd rather have another boy as it would make life much simpler. And yes I know a couple of people that will have been happy that I didn't have a girl.
We found out today that hubby's paternal grandad actually had another child, from before he was married, so he was in fact a father of 4 boys not 3.
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My mum has 3 sisters and 4 daughters :/ my dad had 6 Bros 1 sister
Sooooooo. ...
Attachment 20511
Dh grandad was 1 of 6 boys. It was always thought he had 3 boys, but turns out it was 4, one of his sons then had 3 boys, and we now have 4. Although oddly it wasn't dh dad that had the 3 boys, so wasn't a direct line.
My family was very girl heavy. My nan and her brother both had 1 daughter each, their mum had one of each, and before that there were 2 generations of girl, boy, followed by 4-5 more girls.
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OMG I didn't see your second post as it's on the next page!! Congratulations!!
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Lol thanks! hope it sticks x
Fingers crossed for a sticky one x
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HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!! So so happy for you. H&H 9 months :) xx
Blue! That's fantastic news!! Massive massive congratulations!!
Thank you, I'm freaking out now tho cos I had some spotting this morning... I always think the worst.
It's only natural hon. Especially after a loss. Take it easy. Fx this is your sticky bean xxx
Fx for you and yes I think it's natural to freak out if you get some spotting.
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Fx all is ok! I had spotting with ds2 and was implantation bleeding so hoping this is just the same for you too Hun
Babybeaublue how's things? Did the spotting stop? Hope all is well.
I want to thank you girls for putting up with me the other week when I was being all down on everything. I'm feeling better now. Not any more hopeful, but less like it matters
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Ah we all go through it! It's just nice to gave a place to come were we all understand! :)
Yes babybeaublue I hope all is ok and spotting stopped!
I'm really hoping no news is good news for babybeaublue.
5dpo and I feel crampy, and just starting to see the first few spots that signal af and yesterday I was in one foul mood. I'm ok with not being pregnant this month but I really want to make it to next weekend before af shows so then I'll have had a long enough LP to not worry any more.
I'm starting to worry dh is going to pull the plug on ttc. He'd love another, especially a daughter, but he would also be happy with his 4 boys. He keeps talking about things in the future and they all just include the boys.
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Maybe he's just like my hubby, doesn't believe it will happen, and if its not real at the minute, it's not in his future? Men need to see to believe! I've washed loads of pink and how my hubby is starting to believe, I'm 29 weeks!! Xx
Maybe, he doesn't even say things like "and if we've got another by then"
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Neither did my dh!! I don't think we thought we'd get pg, never mind with our daughter, as dh is 39 & I'm 38. Swaying last time, it took 11 months and we were 4 years younger :) x
Agree with mrs incredible! My DH never discusses anymore even though he knows it's what I desperately want and we have discussed swaying! He's now saying about going away next yr for his birthday! No mention of if I were to be pregnant or anything! I too think they need to see to believe! If it's not infring of them it doesn't need to be included!
I honestly think sometimes that he doesn't think he needs to worry about it right now. There was some baby programme on the other day (possibly In The Club) and he asked how long it would be till we moved. I just said it could be years. It's a sore point for me ATM because although we've been accepted to bid for council places, and I'm still looking at private rent places, he is being really difficult about areas. Anyway afterwards I thought how odd that he'd ask while that was on. Usually he'd make a teasing "you like babies" type of comment. Then I thought I bet he thinks that we won't have another till we move. He thinks he can just do his thing and I won't get pregnant until he wants me to. He agreed to NTNP, but I think he just assumes it won't happen yet.
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