Due in March/April/May 2013 Roll call!

Spinning--I just want to say that I think I've felt everything you've posted on here today: that I must be a terrible person for this to have happened in my life, that I am somehow being punished for having wanted another DD so much, that I have had more bad luck than should be due me. I think all of these thoughts are just a normal part of the grieving process, and not at all a sign that you've done anything wrong or that you're at fault in any way.
After all, everyone on here wishes for a healthy baby of their DG--no matter what people may say, wishing for a girl or boy is a common, normal, nearly universal human wish. It is not the cause of chromosomal problems in babies.

I am crying for you Spinning. It's not fair. It absolutely sucks. I am so angry for this happening to you again. I wish I knew elegant words of comfort, but I don't. You don't deserve this, no way, no how.

I'm so sorry, Spinning. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Spinning I am so so sorry

Spinning - I am so very very sorry xx wish I could do something to make this not be happening x

Spinning, i don't even know what to say - i put off this post all night hoping the news would change or i'd come up with something that would ease the pain a little. I am so so sorry for you that you are having to go through all of this again. I really hope there has been some mistake or that they can do something for you both. My heart goes out to you and your family x

Oh spinning, I can't stop crying. Life can be so unfair. Like everyone else I am so truly sorry you are experiencing this again. So so so unfair. I am angry you have to go through this, that anyone does. Thinking of you, I wish I could hug you. Gosh I just don't know what to say, please don't blame yourself though, it is nothing you did or didn't do..

Spinning - words aren't enough! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers!! I am so sad with you.

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Originally Posted by spinningmadly

I quit having kids. They think trisomy 13. Brain heart issues. I'm done. It's not fair

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Oh, Spinning, I am so so so sorry. Like others have said, there are really no words that could sum up what I want to say but please know I am praying for you, your baby, and your family.

Spinning i am so so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I feel like I've posted over 3 times now and it's still not showing up. So I apologize if these are repeat posts.

Spinning, I am so deeply sorry to hear your news. My heart is aching for you right now. This is just so unfair and you do not deserve to be dealing with this again. You, your family and your sweet baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this before, but what testing have you done so far... and was it the AFP test or just the ultrasound from today that they're going off of? Sending you lots of love and hugs too! Xoxo

So incredibly, incredibly sorry, spinning. :(

:HH: Dear Spinning lady, I am so very very sorry. :( I will keep you and your sweet family in my thoughts and prayers :awe:
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Oh sh*t Spinning, that is just not effing fair!!!!! You are not being punished but I understand you must feel that way but please don't, its just a horrible situation and I dont know why you are suffering again, I have no words for that but it's nothing you have done I know that is certain! I wish I could come and comfort you in person as these typed words probably dont mean alot right now. Please know I am thinking of you and if you need to vent and be pi**ed then please do that here as you know we are here for you :(:(:(xoxox

I agree with everyone else... It's definitely not your fault, or anything you've done! I'm SO SO sorry Spinning, I cannot believe this is happening to you! I have no words... :(

its the ultrasound and they are sure about the Holoprosencephaly and thats just not compatible with life.
they did the amnio rushed it but hes pretty certain , well certain its a genetic defect.

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Originally Posted by spinningmadly

its the ultrasound and they are sure about the Holoprosencephaly and thats just not compatible with life.
they did the amnio rushed it but hes pretty certain , well certain its a genetic defect.

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Oh goodness, Spinning. Again, I'm so deeply saddened by this news. I can't stop thinking about you. Is there a reason why this wasn't caught on the NT scan or other ultrasounds or screening tests? Please don't be so hard on yourself momma. We are all here for you and there are many thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Spinning i cant stop thinking about you, i am on the verge of tears all day just knowing your story. I hope you will be ok.

spinning, she looks so very normal in your ultrasound picture. I don't get why they didn't see this sooner. I am so heartbroken for you. Is there any chance the Holoprosencephaly is a mild case? I might be grasping at straws for you but you just don't deserve for this to happen to your baby. They must be mistaken, that must be someone elses baby :tissue:

I am so so sorry spinning, my heart goes out to you and your family....nobody deserves this, much less it happening twice. I am sending you strength and love, that you can get though this difficult time.

its just not caught before now because the brain and other organs are just too small to see it. my friend said she did see a massive change between 15-16 weeks with the brain and that is normally when it shows up and because it gets bigger. which is why anatomy scans arent usually done until 16 weeks at the earliest.
it just appears to us now but when its formed is like within the first 12 days, hence a genetic defect.
rosie- i wish that was the case. there is no mild form. while i understand some would be ok to try to carry to term and to sit with a baby in a hospital for 2 months in a nicu. I just cannot do that at this time in my life. my kids have seen this twice now and i get so sick wtih each pregnancy i am missing out on their lives. I need to move on and i feel like i need to do that now. I know what its like to walk around like a zombie hoping and wishing and googling and ive done that once im not doing it again its not fair to anyone around me. i can say i have searched and its not a good thing in anyway and also the echogenic kidney apparently means multicystic (not functioning) and he wasnt even sure if he saw a second kidney. Things are just crappy. But for some reason my body just stopped having healthy kids on its own.

the fact that the baby doesnt have severe deformities *although he thought he saw midline cleft which is also in accordance with this issue) made it hard. but the brain issue is a brain issue, I have googled and its just not misdiagnosed usually. Or ever really.
My midwife has known my peri forever and said hes not he type to jump the gun if he wasnt positive he would have said lets wait and see but with what he said he was positive these are severe issues regardless of trisomy :(

Spinning~ There just aren't enough words... ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) :( I am so sorry, you in no way deserve this and I'll be praying for you and your family. My heart is in pieces for you and your sweet baby girl, much love to you right now..

Spinning my heart is breaking for you right now :( Did they say why the blood tests didnt indicate anything at 12 weeks or is that tested for something else? I wish I could say something to make it less painful for you :( xx

Spinning, you are so so brave. It sounds like you have thought it through. I agree, it just isn't fair, not to you, your husband, your boys or that poor baby girl. A brain issue is a serious matter and if doc is sure that would be good enough for me. Life is hard as it is, no need to make anyone suffer through worse when there is sadly no happy ending :-( If they thought they could be wrong it might be different. Big big hugs to you. Thinking of you and your family constantly.

bimby from what i gather the tests only did triomy 18 and downs

Oh ok, I'll try and dig out my test results to see but maybe its different here as I thought they did T13, 18 & 21 with the bloods?? It doesnt change anything I know I am just trying to make sense of it all for you I guess :( xx

She said here they don't and regardless my Mw doesn't consider screenings Too definitive too many normal with abnormal and vice versa.
However she did just read me the u/s report from the peri. A lot is wrong seriously. A long list. With hands too. And face, eyes .So.. In accordance w trisomy 13

Oh hunny :(... so where to from here?? When do they anticipate the results to come back from the amnio? Do they have a counsellor that you can talk to?? I just feel so hopeless over here, I really just wanna be there to give you a big hug :(

We have chosen to induce. Ugh ive had twice as many labors now then take home kids.
I will be needing a serious long appointment with a genetic counselor. But prelim talks with them have made it seem as though they recommend pgd or if we don't want to do that def a Cvs next time but that wouldn't change anything, ya know? Just tell us a few weeks earlier

I don't feel like I belong in this due date thread anymore :(

Oh no!! Please dont feel like that :( Obviously coming here will be hard on you as the time progresses and I understand if you need to be away from here but please dont feel like you dont belong!! I am just pi**ed that this is happening to someone on here, you were the last person I wanted to see being put through this :(

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Originally Posted by spinningmadly

I don't feel like I belong in this due date thread anymore :(

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You do belong here. All of us are your friends and we care about you and what is going on with your pregnancy.

I'm just so heartbroken over this. I still just am speechless. :( I echo everything everyone else has said.

For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .

Sending you all my love,
I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. So heartbreaking and unfair xx

My heart is breaking for you during this difficult time and no-one is judging you sweets. Sending you and your family strength and love to get you through. Know I am thinking of you xoxox

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Originally Posted by spinningmadly

For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .

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I am so so sorry xxxx sending ou lots of love and hugs xxxx no one should ever have to go through what you have - I have no words xxxx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by spinningmadly

For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .

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Heartbreaking

Spinning I am so sorry for your pain. You sound incredibly strong.
I hope this passes for you as quickly as it can and that someday, somehow, you hold a healthy newborn dd in your arms

Don't burden yourself with thoughts of guilt, this IS NOT your fault, this has nothing to do with desires, it's not possible that your desires were able to alter the genetic makeup of an embryo, this is not your fault, and you have nothing to feel guilty for.

And you are as a much a member of this group as anyone else, we are all here to support and love no matter what

Sending you all my thoughts and best wishes xo