Thank you, Hopeful!
Thank you, Hopeful!
Good luck kitty, fingers crossed its a girl for you!!
I don't like "failed sway" - I know technically it is, but no baby is a fail so maybe we could change it to something else? "Nature's choice"? Or something better lol my brain won't work!!
I've been cuddling my friends 2 week old bubba today, he is such a gorgeous little man, just brings it back all those new mummy feelings, I can't wait to have thise again!
Xxx
You know, I really struggled with the newborn stage. My first was premature, and I had never even held a baby before, I was terrified of this tiny red thing that looked like it was going to break. I got covered in poo every nappy change, I poppers the babygrows up wrong every time without fail, I spent all my time worrying if I was doing it wrong, or if they were going to die in their sleep, or if they were getting enough milk, too hot, too cold, etc etc!!!!!! I didn't really enjoy it until much later. I love it now!! I kind of wish I could skip to 6 months in or so, or even to the toddler stage, this is the part I'm good at and I feel settled in!
Congratulations hm and ss!!! That is awesome news!!!
Northern, sorry to hear your bubba was confirmed as a boy. It must be really hard hearing everyone else get such good news.
Ribenaberry I feel exactly like you. Until the tech said that she thought it was a boy, despite us saying we didn't really want to be told, that we hadn't decided to find out, I felt ok waiting. Now I really want to know! I am thinking of paying for a gender scan at 16 weeks. Dh and I have kinda decided that now that we have our hopes up, we will be more disappointed with a girl than we otherwise would be, cos to be honest, we have two beautiful, beautiful girls, and a third little girl will be treasured here. But we really would like a boy to.
So currently we have an 80% success rate with the sways. I reckon that is pretty good! Fingers crossed our sway was enough....
Oh and kitty, good luck on your scan in 39hrs ;)
I am the same right now! I don't have my anatomy scan until Dec 3rd. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have watched the ultrasound DVD because I was afraid it was the cord and I'm gonna be told it's a girl at my 20 week. In some of the shots depending on the angle of the ultrasound wand you can see cord and some you see penis but you see it so many times in the 8 min video and from different angles there is no denying it. My husband and I are still in disbelief. We both went into the elective scan expecting to hear girl. It's still so unreal to me that it's a boy and not a girl. Even though I KNOW it's a boy in the back of my mind I still sometimes catch myself doubting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiggerian
I know, its not a nice term, but its not saying the baby is a fail - its the sway itself that wasn't successful. Its not coined at the baby, if my baby girl had been a girl I'd still say "failed sway" even though I'd be happy with a boy. Its really nothing more than that. We aren't saying the baby is a failure or mistake, but the things the parents did to sway the gender failed to do what the parents hoped it would do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ribenaberry
I'd be happy to use another phrase if you ladies can think of something that sounds nicer. I'm only writing it as a percentage thing, but I can stop if you want me to?
We're being scanned at the same day then! I got my 20 week scan tomorrow too =DQuote:
Originally Posted by Kitty0911
My second was a failed shettles sway; I've never taken the term to have any negative reflection on my awesome son! But I can see how the word failed is more negative than needs be. Perhaps sway opposite?
Just popping in from the other dd board. I know just how hurtful these terms are without there being any intent behind it at all, so I really feel for you Northern. There is no ideal term but I like to think that you're getting what fate intended and your sway just gave things a helping hand or not. Atomic herself says just how much luck is involved in it all, so perhaps take that into consideration. It's awful having any negative connotations tagged onto your pregnancy & innocent remarks celebrating the 'success' of the group cuts to the core. Northern has been through sooo much already & did a super stellar sway. Please read the thread that Atomic started in the DD boards about this topic. Sorry I'm on my phone or I'd post a link. Please no-one take offence at my post, it's not intended but I know how it feels from the other side & I haven't been through a fraction of what poor Northern has. Thanks for reading :)
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Thanks but I'm not against using the term, my sway did fail, as did my body at producing a healthy girl, and I failed at giving my family a much wanted baby girl. It seems that no matter how small the percentage to be on the wrong side of where we want to be, my path leads that way. I had a 0.00009% chance of conceiving a child with Evelyn's condition, yet there we go.
The term wasn't coined at Northern at all - she isn't the only one with an opposite. But yes, Sway opposite is a better term for sure, I'll use that in the future, but if people with opposites find it too painful then of course I won't be posting stats anymore =)
I've also been on the other side of where Northern is - I lost my daughter and had two sons, my second son we very much would've liked to have been a girl and I was upset when I found out it was a boy, especially as my partner didn't want any more children after our second son was born, so I get how she feels completely.
Northern - have you considered doing PGD after this baby? (hope u don't mind me asking).
I didn't take anything as aimed at me or taking anything personally.
I won't be having any more children, 1, I am already struggling with the two I have before even adding this one into the mix and 2, we couldn't afford it.
Sorry I didn't mean to imply you were aiming it at people or meant it in a negative way Tiggerian, I literally meant I don't like the term, even though I know it gets used all over the site as technically it is (hope that makes more sense!) i just thought maybe someone had a good idea of a nicer way to put it (I like sway opposites)
I can only imagine how it must feel for those who've lost their DG to then sway opposite, nature can be a complete bitch at times!
Sorry again - I hope I didn't offend anyone, it wasn't my intention!!
Xxx
I understand. We won't be having anymore either, no money for it and I don't think we'd be able to cope with more children either. Especially our eldest is a bit of a handful and both of our boys are very temperamental.Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern_Shutterbug
I just gotta say, I do worry about you Northern, because i know how much you hurt - I hope you got good people around you who are being super supportive!
Ribena - I knew you didn't =D it was a response to a post by a different user. Sway opposites is a better term, I only used Failed because (like you) it was the term I'd seen used around this site.
I was terrified when I found out our second was a girl. I cried horribly. To make matters worse my mother and sister came with us and scorned me for being so upset. I was upset because my husband said there was no way he would go past 2 no matter the sex. It was very difficult for me at first to handle. Only after many days of tears did he say we could try again. If this one would have been a girl we would have been done. The only way we would have gone for a fourth would have been if it was 10 years down the road and we were rich and could afford high tech gender selection. I really didnt even think this time around we would be able to conceive. I have a condition with my ovaries and my dr told me as I get older it would be increasingly difficult to get pregnant. It took us a lot to get pregnant with our second. DD2 was a "failed sway" and I never really liked that term either. Even though I know there is nothing behind it just made me feel like I was calling her a fail and she definitely was not. So I understand the feeling on the term.
I asked hubby about a gender scan last night, I found a place that will do it for £50, and he said no, because you only want one coz everybe on the forum is having one lol!! He's right, unfortunately, I only want one when I'm reaing about everyone else finding out ha!
3 weeks and 5 days now!!!!!
:)
Xxx
I didn't think I'd be back here much once I found the gender but I keep re-reading all the comments on my potty shot saying "it's definitely a girl" because I keep getting panicked that it was wrong and there's a hidden willy and it reassures me, so silly!!
Haha aaawww Ribena maybe explain how they might not be able to tell at your NHS scan so you'll end up needing to pay anyway, may as well be early saving you 3 weeks of wondering?
Mine was £40 and I got two gorgeous scan pictures of her, as well as a potty shot, and it was honestly worth every penny, not just to ease my stressing over the gender but just to get an extra chance to see baby was wonderful too. I'm hoping to hear at my NHS scan in 3 weeks that it's a girl again as confirmation but not holding my breath. I've known NHS scans be wrong for quite a few people too. Xxxx
Well, we've just got home from our NHS scan and I'm SO happy we paid for our private gender scan. She refused to stretch her legs! She was lying the whole time with her legs crossed, tucked under her bum! She did that at the gender scan too, but eventually moved them so we got a nice potty shot.
We have to go back in 2 weeks time as they couldn't get a proper look at her legs or her face (she had her hand up in front of her face the whole time). But everything else looks perfect! Because our DD1 had a severe heart defect they spend a long time looking at the heart and luckily her heart looks perfectly healthy and like everythings doing and looking like its suppose to!
We got 3 free pictures tho - for the "inconvenience"! And I got to prove to my OH what it actually means to have a baby on your bladder as she was tapdancing away (legs crossed!) on my bladder!
Good news bubba looks all healthy!
Actually all 3 of our boys had their legs wide open, and both girls have had them crossed politely hiding their bits hahaha.
Same with our two boys! As soon as they started scanning the first thing they'd always get without fail was a butt up the screen with our boys :P This one is so uncooperative when it comes to her legs xDQuote:
Originally Posted by SoulSister
Any news Kitty?
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Me (29) and DH (30)
DS1 - 2010
DS2 - 2012
Expecting #3 (and last!) by March-April 2014
Well, it's 10 days till I find out what we're having... If I was already stressed out what happened today at my DS1 school has put me over the top...
It's a small school where I take my son, who just turned 3, twice a week just so he can socialize a bit with older children and practice spanish. Turns out all of his 9 little "classmates" are boys. So oddly, I find, out of 10 boy moms there's only 1 that has a younger DD, 7 of us have 2 boys total and there's 2 who have only the 1 son. I'm the only one expecting.
So today I got to hang out with them and their other children because of the Halloween celebration, a room full of boys and one lonely little girl.
Anyway, I'm not really close to any of the moms, just a Hi when we cross each other there, so I was really surprised when all of a sudden I was being bombarded with questions and comments today. From "I would never be able to cope with more than 2", "You know you are just getting another boy right?", to "Thank God I didn't try for a third one, I know it would have been another boy", "My mother in law had 6
boys in a row", "You are going to need help when you get a third boy, I hope you have somebody that can help" (which apart from DH I don't).
The mom with the pp didn't say a thing, it was the moms with the 2 boys ALL of them surrounding me saying stuff like that. I don't get it. They're boy moms too, we are supposed to be in the same team, aren't we?
I REALLY hope to hear Girl in 10 days so
I can go tell them.
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Me (29) and DH (30)
DS1 - 2010
DS2 - 2012
Expecting #3 (and last!) by March-April 2014
What a bunch of bitches!! Pure jealously, bet they'd love the chance to try for a third but they're probably under the thumb ;P Oooo makes me fuming!!!!
Yea i was gonna say - bitches!
Sorry, but why would you need extra help with three boys!? I got 2 boys and can't really see how much more exhausting another boy would be - I doubt more exhausting than a girl.
I think, secretly they want to try for a third but have a husband who's pulling the breaks on their baby making, so they try to convince themselves they are making the right choice to henpecking you. Close your ears!
First of all, there's no reason you wouldn't be getting a girl this time. and secondly, a third boy is hardly going to tip the scales and make motherhood unbearable and unmanageable. Such rubbish!
What happened to just sticking to congratulations and how exciting!?
Things to say next time;
I would never cope with more than 2 - sorry to hear you are finding parenting tough, I hope you can find yourself some support.
You know you are getting another boy right - oh I didn't know you had X-ray vision! how cool!
As for needing help with a third baby, I personally found the step from 2 to 3 the hardest, but that had nothing to do with gender!
And actually having all of one gender is easier, because it cost less for clothing, they generally want to do the same sort of activities and room sharing isn't such a big deal.
Hope you hear pink, precious3!!
Thank you for your support ladies! Yes, they did seem bitter to me, I don't know if jealous but 2 of them seem to very bitter about having only boys. I'm actually very happy with mine. Although I know it helps that I still "have a chance" at a girl.. but I like to think I would eventually be just as happy with 3 boys.
Soul sister, I loved your responses, wish I had thought of something like that.. I couldn't come up with anything at the time, I just smiled politely. I was very surprised and confused, I had felt safe there of all places, lol.
I am scared to find out gender. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I have been subconsciously sure it is a girl. I didn't do that with my other 2. I know there's no way I can "know" what I'm having, so it must mean I want a girl more than I thought. Having all girl guesses for my nub has only encouraged this... So scary.
My nub if anyone has time to guess:
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ultr...ase-guess.html
Thank you for listening! I have nobody to talk to about this IRL.
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Me (29) and DH (30)
DS1 - 2010
DS2 - 2012
Expecting #3 (and last!) by March-April 2014
I was the same precious. Deep down I didn't doubt this one was a girl and felt as sure about it as I was that the boys were boys, but I didn't dare to let myself believe it in case I was wrong. I was afraid the "blow" would be harder if I allowed myself to believe my gut feeling.
This is our last one too - we're applying to get my tubes tied while they are operating anyway (c-section). I think you do become happy with what you got, I think there'll always be that little wish inside you, so maybe that's why some of them sounded so bitter? My partner only wanted two kids too and I did feel really gutted about it, until he FINALLY agreed to try just one more time!
I'm still in shock. It's been what?! nearly 4 weeks and I'm halfway expecting them to say "no actually this ones all boy" when I got for my rescan in 2 weeks!
I think if we did have another one (and this one stays girl) I'd be just as happy with a boy as a girl.
Nub looks girlie to me, btw soul!
I agree, that is a good nub shot. Both nub and skull look girly to me.
The not knowing drives me mad. If I lived somewhere where you could pay for private scan, I so would! Sod the husbands opinion. Hahha. Waiting was torture. I did the nuchal scan as late as possible to try and see a nub and the anatomy scan as soon as possible. Lol.
How did you go kitty??
Hopeful monster. I feel the same! Ppl are starting to tell me they hope it's a girl, my boys want a girl and things are definitely different but i don't feel I'll be so lucky....
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Sorry it took so long for me to come back and update. I've been so confused with my last ultrasound... The doctor told me he couldn't see what gender it was, but I am pretty sure I saw a protrusion. I'm sure I saw boy parts on the profile view (he said it was the umbilical cord, but I think he was just being nice). I didn't see anything in the potty shot, I did see three lines, but I think the umbilical cord was between the legs and made me think I was seeing something I wasn't. So right now I am pretty sure it's a boy. I have my true anatomy scan on the 21st, which I'm 99.9% sure will show boy. I've already bought quite a few boy clothes items (which has made me feel a little better). I wish I could have gotten a picture, but he was in such a hurry he didn't give me anything :(
Oh bummer kitty! So frustrating that he couldn't take more time with you. Fingers crossed you find out soon.
Okay, so I feel like I am starting to go nuts. My doubt is getting the better of me and I'm starting to get afraid that it's not a boy. I think it's just because it feels so unreal to me because I have two girls and when I went into my ultrasound I was expecting to here girl, not boy at all. I'm having a really hard time believing it's true and I don't have my anatomy scan for 4 more weeks. I even bought a cute little boy outfit at the store the other day and now I'm scared and feel like I shouldn't have done it. I uploaded my ultrasound to youtube to get your guys' opinions. I have watched this video a million and one times (no joke, over and over again day and night) and because I am seeing the umbilical cord a lot and it seems to be near his penis I keep thinking that his penis is the umbilical cord. Can anyone please reassure me? Here's the video link. 15 week ultrasound, baby #3. Boy! - YouTube
Yeah, that's cock n balls! I've scanned myself with the boys (vet nurse!) and have a pic of #2 son at 15 week
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b9...10210-2036.jpg
The bit above I think is cord, much bigger than willie...
Thank you Happypixi. I know I seem crazy cause you can see it do many times but my doubt just kept making me think it was the cord I was seeing over and over again. I'm honestly still in shock that it's a boy because I didn't ever really think I would have a boy. And the whole time leading up to that ultrasound I would not let myself even have a little hope that it was a boy. I didn't want to get my hopes up so when I went in there expecting to hear girl and walked out hearing boy my first instinct was to doubt that it was true. My husband actually wanted to ask if she was sure we were watching the correct ultrasound and what we were watching wasn't the previous lady's DVD. Lol
Tmba, at 0.56-0.57 you can see very clear scrotal line. The line that goes from perineum though the middle of the testicles, the skin fold. It's straight, umbilical would be cord twisted. And you can see there is a little wille poking above the testicles. So a bulb shaped extension.
That's not an umbilical cord babe :D you can relax!
Easier said than done, I know! Lol.
Edited for autocorrect spelling! Grr.
Kitty your scan sounds just like my first 13week one. I was sure I saw a penis, but the tech was adamant I was looking at the umbilical cord, but wouldn't confirm girl. Even though he briefly showed me 3 lines he wouldn't say for sure because the umbilical cord was through the middle of the legs and wrapped around the thighs etc.
by the 18 week scan the umbilical cord was not between the legs anymore so you could see the 3 lines, but he didn't take a good picture of labia.
Fingers crossed it's the same for you!
Had the consultant appointment today, i've got to go to the hospital side to give birth again, but it's where i had dd2 and they are lovely and it doesn't really feel like a hospital room so I'm quite happy with it :) i'm going to write my hypnobirth story this eve i think now i know where im going!
Got to hear the heartbeat too - took them 15 mins to find it though, little monkey was hiding at the bottom and the placenta kept getting in the way. I felt okay because i felt like i knew everything was okay, i think the poor midwife was starting to get a bit nervous though, bless her!
Got my next midwife appt a week on tuesday, then my 20week scan the tuesday after - the weeks are flying by this time!
I hope everyone is having nice relaxing times!
Xxx