Awesome April 2ww & TTC thread [emoji120]

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Mummy2boys even though it's still early days temp wise when I look at your chart I straight away think 'pregnant!' Gosh I hope it's true fx fx fx!!!

Noemi that's alot of spotting... has it completely stopped now? Have you had an extended period like that before?

Emshe that spotting cd24!! Could easily be implantation related fx fx fx!!! I noticed you didn't have any spotting post o last cycle [emoji6]

Gafan I think its possible you may be 1 or 2dpo?? Sundays temp is an open circle, did you take it earlier than usual?



DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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I am hoping those temps indicate O. Sunday's temp was 98.22 F at 6:07 am, which was earlier than yesterday due having to get up to go to the bathroom. (At 7:12 a.m. this morning after another hour of sleep it was 98.40.) Yesterday I woke and tested at 6:37am and again at 7:05 (without getting out of bed)- 98.07.

I'm trying to keep the testing at the same time every day but accidentally waking up early is not helping! Tonight i will try to drink less. I test as soon as I wake before moving.

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Emshe - I am so sorry :( I was so hopeful for you this cycle too. I just don't understand why ttc has to be so much harder for some than it is others. I've had a lot of the same thoughts as you (and being scared of getting sick from the kids - OMG I'm a freak about that and drive my DH crazy!!). It's so draining and it does affect the rest of the family going through this. For days after my D&C I didn't want to even get out of bed. Thankfully my in-laws were in town at that time and took care of my boys - but my DS1 in particular has seen me sad and crying so many times in the past couple of months (and also seen a lot of my anger and temper, unfortunately) and DH and I really worry about the effect it's having on him. It just sucks. You've been through so much and it's just not fair. Take a break and please, please do not feel any guilt about anything you eat!! Please take good care of yourself, as much as you can - yes, your family needs you, but you can't take care of them if you aren't taking care of you (a mantra I repeat to myself quite often these days too!!!). If you decide to disappear from here of course we will all miss you so much but know we're still here whenever you need!!!

Gafan and Mummy - I have everything crossed for you!!!!

Wish I could give you the biggest hug emshe [emoji173] I understand completely about being so fed up living and breathing ttc and the feeling of life passing you by while you're stuck in this limbo of still wanting but not wanting. By all means do what you need to do to look after you and your beautiful family. We will miss you dearly xo. Maybe try and find a new passion (I applied for a couple casual jobs as I really wanted to reconnect again in that way with the world) If you can work towards accepting life how it is and maybe just not try, not prevent but live life like you're done with ttc. You need to be happy and all this is a terrible wait on your shoulders. Again, huge hugs [emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Emshe - I am so sorry :( I was so hopeful for you this cycle too. I just don't understand why ttc has to be so much harder for some than it is others. I've had a lot of the same thoughts as you (and being scared of getting sick from the kids - OMG I'm a freak about that and drive my DH crazy!!). It's so draining and it does affect the rest of the family going through this. For days after my D&C I didn't want to even get out of bed. Thankfully my in-laws were in town at that time and took care of my boys - but my DS1 in particular has seen me sad and crying so many times in the past couple of months (and also seen a lot of my anger and temper, unfortunately) and DH and I really worry about the effect it's having on him. It just sucks. You've been through so much and it's just not fair. Take a break and please, please do not feel any guilt about anything you eat!! Please take good care of yourself, as much as you can - yes, your family needs you, but you can't take care of them if you aren't taking care of you (a mantra I repeat to myself quite often these days too!!!). If you decide to disappear from here of course we will all miss you so much but know we're still here whenever you need!!!

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Oh my this about your son seeing things.... my boys have seen so much. Mine are turning 8 & 11 this year and have been by my side for all of it since the first loss in 2015 no one has known & so I’ve never reached out for help. My eldest sat beside me that first loss for a day with his head on my shoulder completely unaware of what had happened.

I talked to him about it all last year during the 2nd round of HT as he needed to understand. The losses absolutely gutted him. He was broken. But now even he sometimes says (even though he so wants a baby) Mum we don’t need another baby let’s just be us when he sees me sad.

Thank you for your thoughts ABC it helps so so much. & yes my husband hates my germphobia! And he doesn’t respond kindly which makes me sad he can’t understand why I’m so protective.

My kids ages also makes me question continuing, life is quite easy with them now, so independent....agh! There’s so many reasons against continuing but HOW do I give up on what I’ve dreamt of forever


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Wish I could give you the biggest hug emshe [emoji173] I understand completely about being so fed up living and breathing ttc and the feeling of life passing you by while you're stuck in this limbo of still wanting but not wanting. By all means do what you need to do to look after you and your beautiful family. We will miss you dearly xo. Maybe try and find a new passion (I applied for a couple casual jobs as I really wanted to reconnect again in that way with the world) If you can work towards accepting life how it is and maybe just not try, not prevent but live life like you're done with ttc. You need to be happy and all this is a terrible wait on your shoulders. Again, huge hugs [emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Thank you so much Pbn, I know you’re right that’s the way I should possibly play it & I will try but I am a true boy mum in every sense of the control & planning freakiness! Think I’d have to chop my head off to overcome it [emoji6] actually my obsessive routine nature will make it very difficult to step away from these boards too!

I’d love to get a job in some ways, but after almost 11 years away I have lost so much confidence I wouldn’t know where to start.

Enjoy your baby girl & your family Pbn we all owe you so much gratitude for your continued advice & support






https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Parying4agirl

Emshe it must be so difficult for what your going through and i wish u all the comfort. Have some time to yourself, stuff yourself and enjoy every min of it [emoji5]
Making these decisions are so so difficult but take each day as it comes and see how you feel. Like PP said maybe some time away for your mind/body to relax is what may help get your happy ending as i too have heard people get pregnant once they have ‘given up’ . Its an exhausting process, wishing you the best of health xx

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Thank you parying4agirl, I appreciate your kindness. I’ll try to enjoy it some time out


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by gafan

Hugs to you, emshe. And try to skip the self torture after chocolate and chips. Be kind to yourself as you make these difficult decisions.

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I will do my best gafan, thank you


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther

Oh honey, I am so sorry you're feeling all of that. I definitely understand completely and have thought this so many times. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk. I know the "ghost" birthdays really weight heavy. Our next missed EDD is our wedding anniversary next month (and the last one was my birthday in February), and then literally it's almost nonstop loss due dates until 2019, including of our two XYs we transferred and lost. It's all so hard when even those days get bogged down in grief.

I have seen so many women "give up" on swaying or trying and falling pregnant with their DG. So you could try that? Maybe a break is what your body and mind need? But I also know there's the women who were "just about to give up" then fell pregnant with their DG.

It's so hard to know, and obviously we can't base our decisions off of what happened with other people. It's just so hard when we want something so bad and don't know if it's our own selves getting in our way of happiness :(

I'm here for you <3

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Thanks TP, so much to try to let go of, it’s certainly all the thinking that gets in the way of life for me. Just need to learn how to switch it off. I’ll try my best


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Verena how are things?

Had EWCM this morning. Supposedly 4DPO but now I'm doubting it :( OPK is negative though. Boobs have been sore and I broke out, so I though I might have O'd and it was all progesterone. If only I had temped this cycle! DH and I had sex yesterday, but in the morning -- so I can't imagine this is leftovers from that almost 24 hours later?

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Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther

Had EWCM this morning. Supposedly 4DPO but now I'm doubting it :( OPK is negative though. Boobs have been sore and I broke out, so I though I might have O'd and it was all progesterone. If only I had temped this cycle! DH and I had sex yesterday, but in the morning -- so I can't imagine this is leftovers from that almost 24 hours later?

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It could be the leftovers mixing it up. I remember this one time i was like... woah this totally looks like ewcm and it was about a day dtd. I was temping and it was like 8dpo for me. I remember being confused too. Like am i ovulating twice?? I just let it be and it was gone the next time i went to bathroom. So who knows. Id go with opks, but thats just me.

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Emshe:LotsofLove:

Pbn spotting stopped so i hope my cycle will continue normal:pray:

The wondfo hpt advertising sensitivity of 20-25, so does that relate to blood hcg? Like does a squinter probably mean; I'm in the 30's??? What do ya'll think?

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Originally Posted by HGmama

The wondfo hpt advertising sensitivity of 20-25, so does that relate to blood hcg? Like does a squinter probably mean; I'm in the 30's??? What do ya'll think?

Sent from my SM-G955U

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After a million pregnancies with WondFo, I think a squinter would be lower than that. Some of them can even detect as low as 10-15!

TP - I know you aren't temping this cycle but do you have a normal "post-O" temp range, and if so could you take your temp for the next day or two to see if it looks like you have ovulated? As far as the "leftovers", I don't know - I think I told you that on Saturday I had a lot of "EWCM" for most of the day (we DTD the night before) but then since Saturday, I've not had any - it's been alternating between dry, wet, and creamy - and I haven't gotten a positive OPK (digital or wondfo), so I'm wondering if all that "EWCM" was leftover from Friday. Hard to tell sometimes yea? I really wonder if your cycle just may be all screwed up because of the IVF stuff and the hormones. I still think my hormones are screwed up just from an early-ish m/c and D&C - I've had a lot of breakouts as well and the fact that it's CD16 and I haven't had a +OPK yet is totally not normal for me (I normally O by CD15 at the latest). So not saying it's the same as your situation but I just wonder if we're both being screwed up by hormones right now.

HGMama - I agree with TP, I think those cheapies can detect at a lower amount. That's a good sign though - as long as the HCG keeps dropping, however slowly, your body is doing exactly the right thing!

Noemi glad your spotting stopped!! What CD are you now? What's your plan for this cycle? (Are you doing E4D? 1 attempt?)

TP - I know you aren't temping this cycle but do you have a normal "post-O" temp range, and if so could you take your temp for the next day or two to see if it looks like you have ovulated? As far as the "leftovers", I don't know - I think I told you that on Saturday I had a lot of "EWCM" for most of the day (we DTD the night before) but then since Saturday, I've not had any - it's been alternating between dry, wet, and creamy - and I haven't gotten a positive OPK (digital or wondfo), so I'm wondering if all that "EWCM" was leftover from Friday. Hard to tell sometimes yea? I really wonder if your cycle just may be all screwed up because of the IVF stuff and the hormones. I still think my hormones are screwed up just from an early-ish m/c and D&C - I've had a lot of breakouts as well and the fact that it's CD16 and I haven't had a +OPK yet is totally not normal for me (I normally O by CD15 at the latest). So not saying it's the same as your situation but I just wonder if we're both being screwed up by hormones right now.

HGMama - I agree with TP, I think those cheapies can detect at a lower amount. That's a good sign though - as long as the HCG keeps dropping, however slowly, your body is doing exactly the right thing!

Noemi glad your spotting stopped!! What CD are you now? What's your plan for this cycle? (Are you doing E4D? 1 attempt?)

Emshe, hope you are ok. Just sending a hug if you do check in here.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Did you get your positive opk abc? I may have missed it.
TP, I sometimes have a small amount of ewcm around 3/4 dpo. It always confuses me lol.


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Ah just seen your post abc, you haven't had a positive yet have you? How are you feeling?


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Thx u Abc:bighug:im cd12 and doing e4d.

Welp, here it is ladies. I'm guessing I'll O tomorrow, so attempt would be O-4. Not good odds right? Nothing to do but wait and see what happens.

Mummy - I'm nervous :) Just praying if it happens there was a really strong little X sperm that hung around and waited for the egg! If it doesn't happen I'll be relieved though.

Attachment 39327

Yesss it is positive so now it is in God’s hands...:pray:

Abc I beliebe if it was meant to be it will be :)

Abc I'd think there's very very little chance you'll conceive from your bd Friday night. There's a good chance you wont even o until Wednesday going by your past history...

Is there any temptation to bd tonight? Or did your whoopsie on Friday really drive home not feeling ready?

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Originally Posted by emshe

Oh my this about your son seeing things.... my boys have seen so much. Mine are turning 8 & 11 this year and have been by my side for all of it since the first loss in 2015 no one has known & so I’ve never reached out for help. My eldest sat beside me that first loss for a day with his head on my shoulder completely unaware of what had happened.

I talked to him about it all last year during the 2nd round of HT as he needed to understand. The losses absolutely gutted him. He was broken. But now even he sometimes says (even though he so wants a baby) Mum we don’t need another baby let’s just be us when he sees me sad.

Thank you for your thoughts ABC it helps so so much. & yes my husband hates my germphobia! And he doesn’t respond kindly which makes me sad he can’t understand why I’m so protective.

My kids ages also makes me question continuing, life is quite easy with them now, so independent....agh! There’s so many reasons against continuing but HOW do I give up on what I’ve dreamt of forever


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Wow this made me tear up! Your DS sounds like a total sweetheart who loves his mama and family so much!!!

The "how do I give up on the dream" thing was the question I kept asking after my D&C. I don't know how one knows when to make that decision or how to feel at peace with it. I don't know what to say on that - b/c I feel the same thing - but will just say you aren't alone!! Sending you huge hugs!!

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Abc I'd think there's very very little chance you'll conceive from your bd Friday night. There's a good chance you wont even o until Wednesday going by your past history...

Is there any temptation to bd tonight? Or did your whoopsie on Friday really drive home not feeling ready?

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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There is a *small* temptation to BD again today - especially seeing that strong positive Wondfo! But what I've come to decide is that *if* we got pregnant off of that one attempt then maybe it really was meant to be, and, I think there'd be a pretty decent shot of it being a girl (1 attempt, abstain, J&D, even cut off, even though I know timing doesn't sway). If we added another attempt tonight then I think I'd be more likely to beat myself up about not "doing enough" (not a long enough time back on the diet, no Clomid, possibly two fertile window attempts). Plus, I told the RE I would not try this cycle, and I've got that big cyst on my right ovary, so I think it's better to just go back to our plan if it didn't happen this time. I'm more tempted now to try next cycle but I'm not sure I can get past the whole having the due date be so close to DS1 thing. You had that too right? Two January birthdays close together? I don't know - I so overthink and analyze things which I know is TERRIBLE for a girl sway!

I talked with my OBGYN today to ask him about the baby aspirin (and update him on all the testing) and he said do the baby aspirin. So, I'm doing it. Already started it actually last week. He said there's just that random person that the aspirin seems to help sometimes - even when they don't have a blood clotting disorder. I also asked him about Friday's attempt and he said it's pretty low odds.

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

There is a *small* temptation to BD again today - especially seeing that strong positive Wondfo! But what I've come to decide is that *if* we got pregnant off of that one attempt then maybe it really was meant to be, and, I think there'd be a pretty decent shot of it being a girl (1 attempt, abstain, J&D, even cut off, even though I know timing doesn't sway). If we added another attempt tonight then I think I'd be more likely to beat myself up about not "doing enough" (not a long enough time back on the diet, no Clomid, possibly two fertile window attempts). Plus, I told the RE I would not try this cycle, and I've got that big cyst on my right ovary, so I think it's better to just go back to our plan if it didn't happen this time. I'm more tempted now to try next cycle but I'm not sure I can get past the whole having the due date be so close to DS1 thing. You had that too right? Two January birthdays close together? I don't know - I so overthink and analyze things which I know is TERRIBLE for a girl sway!

I talked with my OBGYN today to ask him about the baby aspirin (and update him on all the testing) and he said do the baby aspirin. So, I'm doing it. Already started it actually last week. He said there's just that random person that the aspirin seems to help sometimes - even when they don't have a blood clotting disorder. I also asked him about Friday's attempt and he said it's pretty low odds.

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You just never know how things will pan out abc. I was determined more than likely my last baby would be An August baby, but the lord has other plans. My oldest and my youngest will possibly share the same birthday, will know for sure Thursday when they schedule my csection.


6/2003 [emoji1349]2/2009 [emoji1407] 12/2012 [emoji1349]4/2015 [emoji1406] 2015 [emoji1356] 2016 [emoji1413] The Lord Answered my [emoji1317] 2017🤰due June 2018, with a healthy [emoji1405][emoji166]to fit into our crazy bunch, and Complete our Family![emoji7][emoji8]

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/50268a

Abc yep I have two January bdays only 6 days apart. I'm actually alot less bothered by it than I originally thought I would be [emoji23]

Makes sense not wanting to add an attempt and certainly does seem wiser. So you're doing baby aspirin, and you'll also be doing clomid?

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

Thanks Mommy - yea, I'm just going to see how things go the next two weeks-ish until AF arrives again (LOL assuming things didn't work out this time!). We may give it a go next cycle. I'm sure I'll change my mind about 300 times between now and AF starting!!! Eeek getting your c-section scheduled!! I'm so excited for this baby to arrive!!!

Pbn - Yup baby aspirin and Clomid. I asked OBGYN too about doing progesterone after O and he said I can if I want since it's not harmful but also unlikely to help as he doesn't think progesterone is my problem. Which I don't either but I have the capsules so I may just use them.

Thanks ABC! I’m really excited for her to arrive too!
I’m so excited to follow your journey and watch your miracle make their debut! So excited for when that day comes!! You and mummy2boys just sitting back watching, because your happy days are going to approach us! More than excited to see it happen!


6/2003 [emoji1349]2/2009 [emoji1407] 12/2012 [emoji1349]4/2015 [emoji1406] 2015 [emoji1356] 2016 [emoji1413] The Lord Answered my [emoji1317] 2017🤰due June 2018, with a healthy [emoji1405][emoji166]to fit into our crazy bunch, and Complete our Family![emoji7][emoji8]

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/50268a

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Originally Posted by Mommy2apples

Thanks ABC! I’m really excited for her to arrive too!
I’m so excited to follow your journey and watch your miracle make their debut! So excited for when that day comes!! You and mummy2boys just sitting back watching, because your happy days are going to approach us! More than excited to see it happen!


6/2003 [emoji1349]2/2009 [emoji1407] 12/2012 [emoji1349]4/2015 [emoji1406] 2015 [emoji1356] 2016 [emoji1413] The Lord Answered my [emoji1317] 2017��due June 2018, with a healthy [emoji1405][emoji166]to fit into our crazy bunch, and Complete our Family![emoji7][emoji8]

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/50268a

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Thanks Mommy, you're so sweet!! I hope it will work out for all of us on here! :) :)

Mummy2boys when are you testing? I'm convinced your pregnant!!

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

TP - I know you aren't temping this cycle but do you have a normal "post-O" temp range, and if so could you take your temp for the next day or two to see if it looks like you have ovulated? As far as the "leftovers", I don't know - I think I told you that on Saturday I had a lot of "EWCM" for most of the day (we DTD the night before) but then since Saturday, I've not had any - it's been alternating between dry, wet, and creamy - and I haven't gotten a positive OPK (digital or wondfo), so I'm wondering if all that "EWCM" was leftover from Friday. Hard to tell sometimes yea? I really wonder if your cycle just may be all screwed up because of the IVF stuff and the hormones. I still think my hormones are screwed up just from an early-ish m/c and D&C - I've had a lot of breakouts as well and the fact that it's CD16 and I haven't had a +OPK yet is totally not normal for me (I normally O by CD15 at the latest). So not saying it's the same as your situation but I just wonder if we're both being screwed up by hormones right now.

HGMama - I agree with TP, I think those cheapies can detect at a lower amount. That's a good sign though - as long as the HCG keeps dropping, however slowly, your body is doing exactly the right thing!

Noemi glad your spotting stopped!! What CD are you now? What's your plan for this cycle? (Are you doing E4D? 1 attempt?)

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I was going to do that today, then of course my DD was up every few hours last night so no way did I get consistent sleep... ugh. Maybe I'll try temping tomorrow. I kept taking OPKs -- the digital was negative all day, although the evening WondFo was like the one you freaked out about the other day! I've read a secondary estrogen surge is normal and can affect an OPK, so I'm hoping it's just that (since I've never taken OPKs past the first negative following a positive to know what they even look like at this point in the cycle!).

Didn't get any EWCM beyond that one patch so maybe it was "leftovers"?! Hmm.

And thank you mummy2boys! I Googled a ton and saw it can be normal -- I even looked through my charts and I've occasionally had it too. Lol I'm just so nervous since this cycle already through me off... though I STUDIED my chart (no OPKS or temps) from when we tried for DD, and I actually am pretty sure I conceived her from ovulation on Day 20, too! So maybe this late of an ovulation works for me lol

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

There is a *small* temptation to BD again today - especially seeing that strong positive Wondfo! But what I've come to decide is that *if* we got pregnant off of that one attempt then maybe it really was meant to be, and, I think there'd be a pretty decent shot of it being a girl (1 attempt, abstain, J&D, even cut off, even though I know timing doesn't sway). If we added another attempt tonight then I think I'd be more likely to beat myself up about not "doing enough" (not a long enough time back on the diet, no Clomid, possibly two fertile window attempts). Plus, I told the RE I would not try this cycle, and I've got that big cyst on my right ovary, so I think it's better to just go back to our plan if it didn't happen this time. I'm more tempted now to try next cycle but I'm not sure I can get past the whole having the due date be so close to DS1 thing. You had that too right? Two January birthdays close together? I don't know - I so overthink and analyze things which I know is TERRIBLE for a girl sway!

I talked with my OBGYN today to ask him about the baby aspirin (and update him on all the testing) and he said do the baby aspirin. So, I'm doing it. Already started it actually last week. He said there's just that random person that the aspirin seems to help sometimes - even when they don't have a blood clotting disorder. I also asked him about Friday's attempt and he said it's pretty low odds.

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Haha, you sound like me. Even after I'd say, "I'm not doing this again" after losses, it'd get around O time and I would completely change my mind!

I think your best bet is to hold steady. I DO still think it's possible you could get pregnant from this type of attempt -- I've gotten pregnant from O-4 even with my husband's awful sperm. I think us fertile Myrtles have just really conductive CM? But if you do, personally I think it could be a quite healthy sperm if it lasted that long -- and definitely girl timing!

And if not, you'll be able to go to your RE more relaxed! <3

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Thanks Mommy, you're so sweet!! I hope it will work out for all of us on here! :) :)

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Cheering every single one of you on this thread on! ❤️


6/2003 [emoji1349]2/2009 [emoji1407] 12/2012 [emoji1349]4/2015 [emoji1406] 2015 [emoji1356] 2016 [emoji1413] The Lord Answered my [emoji1317] 2017🤰due June 2018, with a healthy [emoji1405][emoji166]to fit into our crazy bunch, and Complete our Family![emoji7][emoji8]

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/50268a

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Mummy2boys when are you testing? I'm convinced your pregnant!!

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Pbn was right for me when she said this mummy!

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Mummy2boys when are you testing? I'm convinced your pregnant!!

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Thanks pbn and girlsway! I tested this morning on a cheapie and it was negative but it was only a 25miu one. I've got a better one for when I get home from work! I think I'm only 8dpo though so wouldn't that be too early? I do feel different though..


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Mummy I think 8 dpo on a cheapie is too early. Personally I have never tested positive until 10 dpo and that's with a FRER. But 9 dpo is fairly common too.

I love what your temps are doing!! Exciting!!!!

I've just done another cheapie and there is a very, very faint line. That can't be right can it? I can get it to photograph but it's definitely there [emoji848]Had this too many times to get excited though


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