Originally Posted by
twointow83
I'm so sorry sweetie. (((HUGS))) Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Fighting it will only make things worse for you.
As for your question... everyone's experience is different but here is mine.
D&C- My first D&C was very hard on my body... and my heart, of course. I went to the hospital, to same day surgery. I was hooked up to an IV and prepped for the procedure. Then I was wheeled into the recovery area and, when the OB was ready for me I was sedated. The next thing I knew I was in recovery post-op. Still in an anesthesia haze, at first I forgot why I was there until a nurse said that everything went great and something about getting everything out and it hit me like a bag of bricks and I started bawling and asked if I could see my baby. I was told there was not really anything to see, just bits of tissue. I cried even harder. Once I was fully awake I was taken back to same day surgery and then released. Afterward, I felt really raw inside as if I could actually feel where he had scraped my insides out. It took me about 3 months to heal completely and the 3 AFs following were absolutely horrible... I felt like I had been re-D&C'd every month, though the initial pain from the D&C got better after about a week or two. Do yourself a favor and if your doc doesn't volunteer a prescription pain killer, ask for one. You may not need it but if you are like me you'll definitely need something because tylenol didn't cut it.
My natural loss wasn't completely natural. I'd had a D&C about 3 weeks prior (that one was much easier on my body) but the OB had missed our bean. It was believe baby was ectopic, and nothing but an "abnormal sac of fluid" was seen inutero on ultrasound so I am guessing he just did a quick once over and ended up missing bean. After, we learned that baby was inutero and had a faint HB but a shot I was given in the hospital to terminate pregnancy (since they couldn't find the baby during surgery) ended the pregnancy after about a week and a half. Another week and a half'ish later I was at school (college) and I'd been cramping all day, but I have IBS and just figured my tummy was messed up. It kept getting worse so I took a pain killer and kept going to class. My last class of the day I was soooo uncomfortable. It hurt to sit or stand. Then the professor asked me to pass something out and (this is gross... sorry) I stood up and felt this jelly like substance tumbled out of me so I finished passing everything out as quickly as possible and made a b-line for the restroom thinking that I had just passed the baby. Turned out to just be the biggest clot I'd ever seen in my life (baseball sized or close to it) so I cleaned up and went back to class. At that point all heck broke loose and the pain intensified. Fortunately, at that point class was nearly over so I bit my lip and made it until the end and then walked as quickly as the pain would let me to get to my car. I had a 30 minute drive to get home and I knew I had to get home before it got any worse because I could barely focus as it was. I thought about calling my best friend (she helps my stay focused on the road when pain from my tummy issues made it difficult to focus as she has them too and knows what it's like) but the pain had me to a point that it was all I could do to put the car in cruise control and focus on staying in my lane. I finally got home and had to feed the kids so I made the quickest, most rudimentary dinner possible all the while curled up in agony. My mother in law had lost a baby and was there as she was my sitter so I turned to her in near tears to ask her if this is what it felt like when she lost her baby and she said "No!" so I was so confused and didn't know why I was hurting so bad which made the pain even more unbearable. I just kept assuming it was my tummy issues so I refused to go to the ER because A: if it was my tummy issues there was nothing but pain killers they could do for me and I had pills at home B: If I was losing the baby, I knew they would toss him/her in a biohazard bag and throw the bag away, and that wasn't happening and C: I was not very happy with the ER anyway as it was them that said baby was ectopic which I now knew was not the case. Finally, DH got home from work, admittedly only about 10 mins after I did but it felt soooooo much longer, so he finished up dinner so I could finally go take the strongest pain killer I had (it usually knocks me out) but it did nothing. All night I struggled to get relief with pain killer combos, heating pad... I even got in a hot, hot tub. The tub helped between what I now know were contractions but at the time I just thought of them as waves of pain. Due to my pain killer cocktail I would fall asleep between them... in the tub. Finally, scared that I'd fall asleep and drown, I got out and laid back down and added benadryl to my cocktail because it knocks me out too and I was finally able to get some sleep, not great sleep but better than nothing. At 6 am I woke up and got up to get my kids off to school. The moment I stood up I felt the jelly sensation again with a gush of blood this time so I carefully made my way to the bathroom. It was immediately obvious that it was my bean as I could see the sac and placenta. The pain was completely gone at this point and I was both thankful it was over and falling apart because I was holding my baby. I cleaned up and went to get a zip lock bag to keep him/her safe, then started getting my kids up as life must go on :( I don't think my experience is typical though, and yours may be easier. Only time will tell.
Again, I am sooooo sorry for your loss. Some ppl are able to "catch" bean like I did, some aren't. But you may want to consider how you wish to proceed if you do catch your bean. Do you want to give a peaceful burial in a house plant for example. There is no right or wrong thing to do. Just listen to your heart, it knows what you need for closure. (((HUGS)))