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I have my 20 w scan in september. I will think on this more but i just feel if i hear girl at birth i will burst out crying right there and make a fool of myself.
Maybe i can do what i did last time. Have them hid the sex on a paper in an envelope and then read it at home whenever i am ready and if i am not ready then i won't read it at all.
🎀 2010 🎀 2012 🎀 2016 🤰due 2018
In my experiences I always wanted to know because it always was at the back of my mind because my husband's family were very adamant that it had to be a girl this time. So I had to prepare myself for the disappointment of others around me and the comments I would hear. As a matter of fact they would make it my fault because they said I just couldn't carry a girl because I had had 3 miscarriages already. But i also never told them the sex until baby was born i just prepared myself because of this specific reason. At this point my husband even blamed me that I couldn't have a girl and actually he was upset about it. For our 3rd and 4th boy he cried he wanted a girl so bad. Our 5th child I told him this is her he just kept telling me I'll believe it when I see it but he never let go of I couldn't have a girl until she was here. But before our 5th child i prayed and prayed and cried and cried but it wasnt necessarily because i didnt have a girl it was because I felt like an invalid person because of how they treated me about the whole situation. So i believe that my daughter was really because God heard my prayers and felt the tears of pain i had because of all of this. Anyway, ever since they found out that I am pregnant again all that is said yet once again is this better be a girl. Sorry that you all have to go through all these comments because honestly for me the comments are what caused my gender depression. I was perfectly fine with all my wonderful boys. I mean sure I wanted a daughter but I loved my boys and I wanted to be happy and celebrate them like they should be but because of those comments it ruined that for me because the comments made me depressed. I don't care what others think, every life is such a miracle whether boy or girl and they should be treated that way. Sorry for rambling just thought maybe it would help someone else out.
Sky - I wanted our 2nd to be another girl though! I think sisters are just about the sweetest thing and if I was going to have 2, I wanted 2 girls. But, I know you want one of each!
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Bluebooties I agree with sky sometimes we are stronger than we think and surprise ourselves with how we deal. But in saying that you also need to know when to accept you may need some help in dealing. When is your next ob appt? I would discuss with him/her about finding out gender after your 20w scan (agree with you very much about having it written down and opening when you're ready) and that you may descend into depression upon seeing it. Especially if you have had depression before, you'll be way more susceptible with all the hormonal changes going on in your body. Better to be prepared (both yourself and your ob) so if you do find yourself heading into depression he/she can have a plan (and script) ready for if required. I do honestly think that its better tackled now than at birth. There are far, far more hormone shifts going on at birth without adding gd right on top of it. Let us know what you decide and the important thing is to keep talking, whether with someone you trust IRL, your ob and of course us here. Don't turn inwards xxoo
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Blue & Kat-It's really hard to say what is best for you. I was team green with DS2 & there was absolutely no way I could feel disappointed when I was holding this beautiful, perfect baby boy in my arms! It was love at first sight & I truly never looked back! He is a momma's boy too! This time around, knowing it's my last baby...I feel very strongly about the need to find out what direction my life is going to take sooner than later!!! I don't know how much longer I can take the gender comments/guesses. I'm so impatient this time around & the sooner I know, the sooner I can move forward...either accepting the finality of being a boy mom or preparing for a little princess. I think I will go bonkers if I spend my whole pregnancy hoping for a girl. Just my thoughts, but each person is different and may handle coming to terms with it differently. I really wish we could all get our desired genders! I always thought I'd have a girl, then a boy.
Ok catch up time!
Lola I agree with Kat that you absolutely have use your name Sophia, your and dh's story demands it! Oh and sweet is your dh 😀 Lol about your dream and Ash's beautiful hair 😂 Ash give us all hair envy!! Also hope everything is ok with your BIL's first child. Everyone reacts and deals with things differently. I cant imagine them not reaching out if something was wrong.
Shann can you give a brief explanation as to what ICP is? Hope its nothing serious ❤
Your mum sounds amazing! Mine has barely acknowledged this pregnancy and I wish I didn't have to tell her three weeks ago (I cant lie to her 😣 and she asked point blank if we were done with 'the baby thing') I don't know if she disapproves because of my age or my mc history but she never even asked how my scan went after I asked about how her husbands follow up appt went (they were on the same day which I have no doubt she remembered or maybe she didn't bother remembering) I refuse to anything more about it to her unless she asks first as its to upsetting. She has always been my go to person for anything so feeling a little alone in that area....
Mumoffourmonkeys (MOFM) hi and welcome 😀 will add you to our ddg info on page 1 as soon as I've posted this! Sorry you didn't hear girl but happy your baby boy os healthy xxoo and thank you for your team green input. I didhave gender done in the nipt but have no intention of asking :) I was so strongly team green before my nuchal scan then went crazy for a day or so wondering if I should find out but happy to report I'm fully back on team green with no intention to leave again :)
Sky I am absolutely exhausted by the evening and have little energy for cooking. Sometimes I prepare something during the day so it just needs cooking off, or putting in the oven etc but mostly I look for super easy things to cook 😆 like Ash I've gone off meat and haven't had it for about 1.5 weeks now...
Glad your ob is on the ball and let us know how the tests go ❤
Kat if your gender desire is strong enough to make you question whether you'll be sad atbthe birth then I'd lean towards finding out. I wouldn't rely on the 'seeing baby and all your sadness will be gone' theory as everyone is different and processes things differently. It really is a tricky situation finding out vs discovering at birth and I don't envy you or anyone making that decision. Trust in yourself that whatever you do will be the right decision for you xxoo
Mumoffourboyz I'm so sorry for those horrible comments and attitudes you had to deal with especially from your own family 😠 especially with a history of losses!! It is beyond inappropriate of them to make ANY comment other then their relief that bub is doing well. Thsi just makes me want to cry, especially your comment about loving and celebrating your boys as they deserve but those stupid comments ruining it for you. SMH at those people.
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I do since we won't be going for third. Dh and I will be fine either way. It's just the family's hopes and wishes that adds the pressure. They are very sweet about it but couldn't stop from saying how they wish it's a boy. [emoji52][emoji52]Quote:
Originally Posted by kat1234
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6513f2
Pbn my next appointments are july 17th a d august 11th then i get my 20 week scan on september 8th.
🎀 2010 🎀 2012 🎀 2016 🤰due 2018
Ok then i think i will have then write it down for me bcoz u r right pbn3 if i need help dealing with the emotions i will have time far in advance of baby's arrival. So ladies i think my status is team green till i find the will power in me to read the paper.
🎀 2010 🎀 2012 🎀 2016 🤰due 2018
oh ash thats awful theres nothing worse than throwing up bile :( im sorry your still so sick fingers crossed it passes soon! i was ok in the mornings but by the evenings it would start to set in and if i didnt get to sleep early enough id be up most of the night vomiting.Quote:
Originally Posted by AshFind
these headaches are definitely hormonal as im drinking loads of water and feel otherwise ok, they're just annoying, make it much harder to think properly which is not a good thing considering my brain has basically fallen out this time! haha
im wanting to go team green :)