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Soar I'm so sorry about your grandma, I have lost all 4 of my grandparents now, but my grandma who passed 2 years ago was the most difficult as I was so close to her (she lived with us for years before needing a higher level of care). I struggle with the idea this baby will be the only one that my grandma didn't meet. Thats why if its a girl, the middle name will be May, which was her middle name.
MsBlakely I'm sorry you have anxiety in pregnancy, I had it with ds1 and it got worse after a horrible delivery. I often wish I had spoken to a psychologist earlier, and gotten some relaxation techniques because i've since had friends that learned some with postnatal anxiety (remember how postnatal depression is so promoted now? well they are finally recognising anxiety as part of the same disorder, which stems from a hormonal imbalance due to the pregnancy and or delivery, and sometimes is made worse or triggered by traumatic birth or loss). So I've had friends who needed medication in or after pregnancy (there is some trial and error in finding the right one, so as someone said, experimenting in pregnancy isnt ideal if you've never been on one before) and also friends that got help from a psychologist that specialised in prenatal and postnatal anxiety, and all had a good measure of success. I would start by hunting down a psychologist that specialises in disorders of this spectrum because the techniques they give you are going to be far more effective.
hugs
good luck ladybugs!
MsBlakely - Funny you should bring this up...was just thinking today that I am possibly on the edge of depression. Never been "clinically" depressed before, and never dealt with even mild depression (for an extended period of time)...so have never been on meds, either. But now I am wondering if I should talk to my doc about it! I have a friend who has PPD with her babies, and also struggles outside of pregnancy. In her last pg, she took Zoloft, and I think the transition after baby was here was much better. Doc had her wean off before delivery, but I'm pretty sure she went back on after she was born. I can't remember the reason for the weaning off...but anyway, don't know if I'm quite there yet (needing meds), but I just have a feeling if I hear boy next week, it will send me over the edge. You are so right...taking it out on your family is a real possibility. I feel like that's what I'm doing right now with the boys...I'm not really even able to enjoy them. DS1 is just a hard kid sometimes, and right now, I feel like I can barely put up with him. I find myself sinking to some of his childish behavior, because so much of what he says/does rubs me the wrong way (he is very controlling, must be in charge, must be first, etc., etc.). DS2 is my easiest, but he sometimes has pottying issues that drive me up the wall (he's been trained since 2.5, and he's 4 on Thursday). DS3 is absolutely cute as a button, but he's turned a corner recently into doing things that I think he knows (even at 15 months) are naughty. Just ridiculously into things, throwing his food, cup, etc. It, once again, drives me nuts. DS2 started preschool today, which I know will help, since the older 2 fight constantly. DS1 won't start school till Sept. 3 (he is going to a brand-new school and the building is still being finished). That will help tremendously, I know. But I feel TERRIBLE for honestly feeling like it's tough to enjoy them right now. And I'm about to add another one?? OMG!!!! I seriously thought I would have a girl, that is why I got pg. See?? I need help, don't I?? Ugh, totally get how you feel!
Ladybugs - Thinking of you. Can't wait to hear!
Soar - Still praying. I can't imagine dealing with that while pregnant! Keep us posted.
AFM - Aah, see above. Haha!
I can completely identify with this, feeling like they are driving you mad, or sinking into their behaviour when you are tired, stressed, at the end of your tether. my ds1 is also super challenging and even at 4 is far more work than ds2 who just turned 2. Mind you even the easy kids turn 2 eventually, and now we are having tantrums that involve dropping to the floor and refusing to move. They are usually timed right when i'm trying to get them into the car to go to daycare/work or bringing shopping inside or something. I physically cant pick him up anymore when he does that, so my old response of just throwing him over my shoulder, getting him to where he needs to be then letting him cry it out and get over it isnt working now i'm pregnant. I already hurt my back trying it! I tried walking off on him (like walking down the hallway to the garage and pretending to leave) but he just gets up and goes off to do whatever he wanted, rather than following like ds1 would have. I tried talking him out of it but we all know how useful that is with 2 year old tantrums. Thankfully because hes easygoing the tantrums dont last long at all, and are not frequent so hoping he just grows out of it and we can not draw too much attention to it in the meantime. Ds1 is still my biggest challenge and I often wonder if i'm mad having more!!Quote:
Originally Posted by myrainbowgirl
Rainbow, Meeks - I totally feel you and this anxiety is constantly making me question or worry if I made the wrong decision having another. To us as a family, two just doesn't seem right and feels so incomplete so it was a given we'd have a third but 100% I'm stopping there. I worry I'll be in over my head too as boys can be hard - I have the same thing, DS1 is more of a challenge at almost 4 and DS2 who's almost 2 is starting the tantrum/whiny stage so days do get long an tiring. I think having depression, or anything like that is only made worse by being a mom as that's such a stressful job already! I just know i'll have another boy and worry my life will be chaos. I definitely am going to watch myself once the baby comes because I will go on something if I need to as I also know it can become worse after. I have 3 close girlfriends who all have anxiety and depression and are all on medication for pretty severe PPD. They all struggled with it years before having babies so I'm sure thats why they have bad cases, but it does seem to be quite common. Luckily I'm able to keep most emotions under control, and DH is so good at talking me out of my crazy brain! I can tell its almost all hormone related as I don't even know what's causing the panicky feeling. Kids are amazing and although they can somedays drive me mad, I still could go in a cry watching them sleep and thinking of how fast they grow. I think I need to really keep that in mind with this baby to know that all the hard stages DO pass!
I agree. We are in exactly the same boat and wanted more than two, so this wasn't just about swaying to begin with for me, and I am 99% sure this will be our last. DH is 'having the chop' after this one is born. I still worry that i'm stupid to add to this chaos when I already have plenty of moments where i'm far from the ideal parent. The one thought that calms me is that this is our last. If I have a hard day I think, yes but this will only be for a short period of time, and sure its going to get worse before it gets better but its going to be over very soon too. Or that really really constant push-every-button sleep deprived part is anyway.
I posted on the other thread...and tried to update my siggie, but I have been quite emotional on it all.
Aww Ladybugs...you are in my thoughts & prayers.
If she's anything like her mama, she's got this...<3
Soar sorry about your grandma xx
Ladybugs I'm happy for you getting your daughter and praying she will be healthy and that your pregnancy isn't too stressful xx