Originally Posted by
4blue2pink
:LotsofLove: im so sorry MrsT i completely understand where you are coming from, after i lost my daughter everyone around me was suddenly pregnant, loads were unplanned and almost all of them were pregnant with girls, it was very hard to deal with and i have to admit that the jealousy and sadness id feel deep down when someone had a girl lasted for almost 4 years after my daughters death and only went away when i had my 2nd and 3rd daughters, for me i had to have my 2 youngest girls in order to move past those feelings but it isnt that way for everyone, so please dont let what i say worry or upset you im just being honest with my personal experience in the hope that it may help.
even though it was difficult to hear the news, it was kind of your friend to think enough about things to message and explain why she had held off on telling you etc.. rather then just letting you see the big announcement on social media or hear it through others. i have been in your friends position (pregnant with a friend who has lost babies) and even though i lost my daughter i was still nervous about telling her, especially with my girls because up to that point we were both boy mums who had lost our girls, and we had spoken openly about those feelings of jealousy and hurt whenever someone we knew had a girl even though we would both be pleased for them, so i knew what the news of me having a girl was going to make her feel :( it is a difficult position to be in.
the due date is hard :( again speaking purely from my own experience i found her due date very hard the year she died because it was a reminder of where we should have been and that we never got that far.. even though i was pregnant again by that point i found it impossible to let go of what week i *should* have been with her pregnancy rather than concentrating on what week i actually was with the new baby.. (i was a complete mess following her death) but after that year her actual birthday rather than her due date became the main day for her in my mind, and ive honestly never really thought of her due date since, i guess its like when you have a full term baby and they dont arrive on their due date, you mark the birthday not the due date if that makes any sense? she has her birthday and it will always be her day <3
i hope that you are feeling a little better today and i also hope that my being honest with what i experienced hasnt been upsetting to read, it is different for everyone and there are no rules when it comes to grief, things change, especially with time and sadly the loss of a baby or child is the start of a lifelong journey that none of us asked to go on.
"We each have to find our own way through our grief. Just as each child is special and different, so is each mother and our pain when our child dies is unique to us. But we do not have to walk the path alone.."
we are all here for you whenever you need us, wishing you as peaceful a time as possible as your baby girls due date approaches :sadflwr: xx