Uk ladies

Ds3 stole my heart in an extra special way, after my gd, he just felt so perfect for us, and I'm so glad I dealt with gd before his birth as i enjoyed him to the max 💙 x

Finally some gorgeous weather! Still having a nightmare with the house move so can't see us swaying anytime in the near future or ever the way I feel at the moment, so sick of just waiting waiting waiting for people to make decisions based on their pure greed! :(

Hugs. I know the feeling just having to wait for someone else to decide something that will affect whether you can move. Although our situations are a bit different they are both out of our control. I almost want to say just forget it, we will try anyway and then when sonewhere comes along we will move pregnant or with 5 kids. But if we have another here then that will raise the number of bedrooms we need and limit our options further. It's so rare to have more than 3 beds come up, and then it's usually 3 bed with a dining room that can be used as a 4th.
Can't remember if I said, I accepted that friend request from the person I unfriended and then just hid her from my wall so I don't have to see.
I'm a horrible person, I should be happy for her, she had 3 boys (2 of which don't live with her) and she told me after her 3rd that she'd have loved to have a girl but had such awful pregnancies she couldn't do it again and would maybe adopt one day. Then a couple of weeks later she was pregnant and it was a girl. I shouldn't hate that she got a girl, but I do.
The weather is lovely, so warm! I've done tons of washing lol


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Lol I'm up to date with my washing too! Lol long may this weather last!
Oh I know it's the complete helplessness feeling, we are boy mums after all were used to being the ones in control lol we can't handle someone else having our fate in their hands!
Oh I so know what you mean you want to be happy for her but you can't help your emotions! Why do they get what we want seemingly so easy. I think it'd be easier to handle if atleast the housing situation for us both was going smoother.
Maybe you should just go for another it won't affect what house they give you, in fact they may increase the urgency! Either way you're sure to get a house bigger than you're in now! Hate the fact we're both in the same situation but glad I have someone to feel crappy with lol

It's nice knowing other people understand isn't it?
I was out with ds2 today and text dh saying do you think we will ever have another baby? And he replied "what the babies?!" And I said yeah babies. And when he didn't reply I text again saying we could try to make a girl one and he still didn't reply.


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Why do men avoid this subject? Did you have a talk tonight in the end?

Nope. I thought maybe he'd wait till they were in bed and bring it up but he didn't.


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I wasn't even asking for right away, I was asking if he thought we'd EVER have another


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Well, I brought up HT. I said if I can come up with a get rich quick scheme to make £15000 so we can guarantee its a girl, then can I have another baby. He said "yeah ok, write some more" (I've written a couple of, quite frankly not that great books) I said I'd never make that amount that way, and knowing my luck I wouldn't get pregnant first time and I'd just feel selfish for spending that much money on something I want. No one else cares or wants one so I should just forget about it. Waiting to hear what he has to say about that. Probably nothing. I just couldn't wait any longer, I was going to burst if I didn't say something to him there was no way I would have made it to when they were all asleep tonight.


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Has he said anything? Sometimes it just feels like the elephant in the room, it's all I think about sometimes and yet u know it doesn't cross his mind at all!

No. I text him again and said I was sorry but I had tried to move on and I couldn't, there are reminders everywhere about what I don't get to do and I wish it didn't matter so much but it does. Again, nothing. Then last night we heard that his dad's condition has got worse so I felt like a cow to bring it up then.
But this morning he was going on about ds2s football team and I felt again like he just doesn't get it. I wanted to say I hate football now, I used to like it but now it's this big thing that just reminds me of all the things he gets with sons that I don't get with daughters. I wanted shout at him and say what if we had 4 girls and I was going on and on about how brilliant they were at dance classes and the whole time all you could think of was what if you had a son, what it would be like watching him play football, would he be any good at it?
I know I can take boys to dance classes, but it's one small part of the GD thing. Like people talk about shopping trips with their daughters, ds2 enjoys going shopping with me (I think it's mainly the lunch out that entices him lol) but we went out Thursday last week and this week but it isn't that same, because it's not what the whole GD issue is about. Even if I took him shopping every week and to dance classes every week he still wouldn't be my little girl, so it still wouldn't help this feeling.


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He was trying to be extra nice to me last night, but I'd rather he just gave me an answer. He was willing to try before so why won't he just say yes but not yet, or even a flat out no. I'd rather be told no than keep hoping that one day it might happen.


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Why do they skirt the issue? Dh is the same! It's like they think if they say yes we'll be jumping their bones tonight! Honestly what is wrong with them!?!

I don't know how he can say yes when I asked about HT but won't say "one day" when I ask about trying again.
I feel like it's all I keep going on about too him and don't know if I should push for an answer or just leave it.
4 kids are hard work, and 5 would be more, I know that and I can understand when they are being pains that maybe it puts him off another. I even wonder why I want another at times. But wouldn't it all be so worth it if the next one WAS a girl?!



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I don't think I can do any school runs next week. I know I am so pathetic but I am dreading the thought of everyone gushing over the mum who had her baby girl at the beginning of the holidays. And another just announced on Facebook that she's having a boy, she has 2 girls and her husband has an older daughter from a previous relationship. So if I stand the other end of the very small playground everyone's going to be gushing over her


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Oh no that's going to be the hardest bit, people may not gush too much an I'm sure they'd still gush if it was a boy as it's the whole new baby thing. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid it though I'd feel exactly the same. It's so hard to not feel like it's just being rubbed in our faces even when they're not, it's because we feel the emotions and it's so raw!

Girls reading how you are feeling is like a breath of fresh air. I'm sorry, but it makes me feel so much more normal!!! DH doesn't get this GD business at ALL!!! My brother in law has only daughter's and he is mad for a son,I tell DH that his brother would completely understand and he says he gets it a bit but he doesn't at all! On Thursday he arrived in from work and told me his work colleagues wife had just had their second child. Their first is a 5 yo boy, they had a MC last year so I would have always asked after her when I found out she was pg again. Of course she had a little girl and I felt HORRIBLE for feeling how I felt, I didn't begrudge her her daughter but all I could think was how come they had a PP so easily. I wouldn't be without my boys but I have no control over how I feel. Hate feeling this way!!! I had myself all.most convinced I would be ok as a boy mother, now I keep thinking I will always feel this way if I don't have a daughter!! GD sucks!!!!!! Oh, and to top it off we have to attend a wedding with the couple with the PP next week, they are bringing their new born DD and I will be drowning myself in wine at the bar!!

I know I'm being stupid and I can't avoid everyone with daughters forever. I just hate the way it was all the way through her pregnancy every scan it was "double and triple checked its still a girl" and "I couldn't believe that it was actually a girl" she has 1 boy. One. I don't get it, if you have 1 of one gender then the chance of the next being the opposite surely still feels 50/50, in fact I remember being convinced that I'd get a girl when we tried for a second, just because that's what happens right? My mum had a girl then twin boys, dh parents had a girl then 2 boys, dh brother and dh sister both had a boy followed by a girl so why would we be any different. It was more of a surprise when we were told boy (at the 13 week scan and I refused to believe it because it was too early. I didn't even have gender desire then, I was happy to have a couple of boys first, I had just assumed that was how it would work.


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Omg sorry I didn't realise it was a pigeon pair! Yes that frustrates me why are they panicking over the scan if I'd have been told girl after ds1 I wouldn't have doubted it! If I'm told girl next time I would but that's because I can't believe it'd actually happen! Lol! You're not being stupid though you need to process your feelings Hun and deal with them!
Hopper my love you are not alone I think very few men actually truly get it! I wish they could feel what we feel for just one day! Then they'd understand!
Thank god for wine at the wedding next week! Lol

I agree they just don't seem to get it, although I know sometimes it is the man who has GD. I said to DH to imagine what it was like if he didn't have boys to share all that stuff with and he just had to listen to me going on about all girly stuff and wondering what it would be like to have a boy. He just keeps being overly nice to me and telling me that he loves me, which I don't doubt but it feels like he is trying to say no. I know he wanted a girl and it wasn't until after we found out DS4 was a boy that he started to mention stopping. Like there was no point having another as it would definitely be a boy.
I am sorry I'm being so pathetic about it all. We are all in the same boat but I'm over here having a pity party. Sometimes I'm OK, I was alright over Christmas, but now? It's like a physical aching in my heart.

Don't ever be sorry we're here together because we all understand! I think you need to sit him down for a heart to heart it's so hard to get the convo started but once it's started its amazing how much you can sometimes get them to open up!

I do. There's just so much going on that I feel like I'm being selfish to keep bringing this up and I'm scared of his answer. I don't know when the right time to talk about it is. I know he's worried and stressed about other things already and I feel like I'm adding to his problems.


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Yes I'm the same with dh, I worry about adding to his stress problems but if they know were unhappy they get more stressed and don't know why. At least if he knows why you're unhappy he can decide. You're not asking for another one now but you need to know what the future holds.

Dh dad has been moved to a different hospital and no one thought they should bother telling us. Good thing he works with his sister or he'd have gone up there tonight and he wouldn't be there!


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That's awful. X


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I know. I'm so annoyed! His sister lives 2 doors away so why she couldn't tell us I don't know! He has been texting his brother asking how their dad is because we've both been unwell and his brother said not to go because they wouldn't let us in if we were ill, and all his brother says is "I'll let you know when I see him later" then doesn't let us know.


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I had to do the school run, i tried not to look at the baby too much, just said hi to her, thanked God for the wind as an excuse for ever so slightly watering eyes as I walked along behind them. Had to listen to everyone exclaiming how gorgeous she is and how lucky they are.
Trying to keep it all in and not break down tonight. Dh doesn't need me being like this right now


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Oh mob, so sorry you are hurting right now xx

Thanks. It's got to be ok one day right? Whatever happens, it's got to get better, hasn't it?
When we decided to stop ttc I felt ok and I thought I'd have the occasional dips into GD but they'd shorter and further between and not hurt as much, but they aren't. They are getting closer together and longer and worse.



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Oh no that's awful about dh's dad! What is it with familes that they have to make everything hard work!?! Sorry to hear you're going through it at all angles right now. I so wish I could wave a wand and make it better for us all.
Well done you for seeing the baby though it's such a hard time but the first time is defo the hardest x

Oh yeah foxy, there shall be lots of wine lol!!

Ah MOB I feel so sorry for you, what a rotten day!! The family situation is just uncalled for and the school run was definitely not needed on top of that. At least the first one is over and done with, hopefully the interest in the baby will ease off now.

I had a similar situation today myself. A friend of mine is due her first in June and I bumped into her earlier. I had heard on the grapevine she is having a girl and for some unknown reason I couldn't even look at her bump :( That's a new low for me! Not only that but I got invited to her baby shower next month, now to see if I can come up with a valid excuse!!! God, I hope I don't always feel this way. Part of me can't wait to ttc so that at least I will know the outcome one way or another and the other part of me is so afraid to even try to sway. Trying to be less Martha, some days it works and others not so much!!

I know what you mean. I want it all final. I want to sway, and be pregnant with my last baby and know whatever happens this is it I gave it my best shot.
But it's scary to think that I might still get a boy and how I'll feel then. In one way it's nice to still have to hope.
I hope we don't have to feel this forever.


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Oh and BIL seems to have been trying to keep us away as much as possible the whole time. I think he just wants to say he was there more and did more for him. According to SIL all FIL keeps asking is when DH and I are going up and that he wants to see us and the boys (who won't be going now, but when he first went in he was pretty much like his old self, not wired up or anything and able to move around so DS1 and 2 did go and see him a couple of times because he asked for them. Once he started needing wires and things and looking rougher we stopped taking them)


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Thats exactly how I feel too! Financially 3 is our limit, though I have hope that if #3 is a boy I may be able to convince DH to have a fourth - though the strain that would put on us might not be worth it. DH always said he wanted two kids and we are doing well financially right now, able to take nice holidays and buy nice things and save some money too. Sometimes I wish I could just let it go (lol, how Elsa of me - sorry, just had to do that as the boys are still Frozen obsessed) and be happy being mother of two fabulous little boys and then I think that I just need to take a shot at swaying. If it doesn't work out then maybe I will be able to give this up and move on and finally be happy!!

I don't want to get 10/20years down the line and think maybe if I'd just given it 1 try...
It does change things though. Like our car is a 7 seater but it's old, so the middle seat doesn't have a full seat belt. I'm told this can be fitted but I don't know what it costs. But if we had another we'd need to do that.
The house thing too. With 4, especially all boys, they can share 2 to a room. If we had another boy it wouldn't be a problem I suppose as he could share with 2 of the others. We have 3 in one room and 1 with us at the moment. But if it's a girl we will need another room. Financially we manage. With a lot of saving and careful budgeting, we have enough, so 4 is probably a sensible place to stop. And going out, we each have 2 hands, we can keep hold of 2 each. It's something I do worry about in busy places, keeping track of them all.
But it's still that thought that we could do it, it isn't unmanageable, we'd be ok, and we could get that girl we've been waiting for.



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Totally agree mob, I would hate to look back and have regrets!! I'm almost 33 now, I need to get this show on the road. We are in a similar predicament with the house situation, we are currently renting and trying to save our downpayment for a house of our own. We have been told that we are at a disadvantage with two kids and a third would mean we may not get the mortgage so DH is kinda dragging his feet on the sway thing. I'm pushing ahead with it though, I've told him in no uncertain terms we are swaying this year! He jokes about my diet etc but he will go along with it cause honestly I'm a nightmare to live with if I really want something and I don't get it lol. Its a worry about the house and having to afford a new car (we just have a regular 5 seater car so would need a 7 seater for the three car seats (DS1 would be only just gone 4 if we conceived first try so would still need a seat) but I can't wait any longer. My friends mother was telling me only last year after I had DS2 that I should have another 2 or 3 while I still can, she had two boys and then a girl and she said she wishes that she hadn't stopped then. Her DH told her that 3 was his limit and she says now the two of them wish they had had more kids. Her words were "You will never regret having a child, but you'll definitely regret NOT having them when its too late!" She is so right, and anytime DH starts to moan about having more kids I bring up those words and it shuts him up for another while. He's a bit more apprehensive about having more kids. He was not very hands on when we had DS1, I did everything and never asked for a hand. When DS2 arrived DS1 was almost 2 and he went through a sleep regression for about 6 months. I couldn't manage both kids some nights when they woke up together as I was breast feeding DS2 so I had to ask DH to get involved. He took charge of DS1 and for the 6 month period of DS1s crappy sleeping DH got up to him at night. One night when I was rocking DS2 back to sleep DH came into the room with tears in his eyes, he said he was so tired and frustrated and he couldn't believe I wasn't cracking up from lack of sleep having had crappy sleep since DS1 was born in 2012. Sleep deprivation is the worst but I tried to explain it would pass eventually and they are only small for such a short period. He was adamant from then he was sticking with having only two kids, he had said it before then but I took it with a pinch of salt cause he just likes to get a rise out of me. Things came to a head around Xmas there when he began to say every day that he was done having kids and he had "his boys" and I said that if he wasn't willing to have more kids with me he needed to seriously think about it cause I wasn't finished yet and I couldn't see us lasting if he wasn't willing to budge. He said that he was just emotionally scarred from the sleep deprivation and he couldn't go back to it if we had DC3 and he had to manage the older ones himself. Such a small thing to deter him from having more kids! He's came around to the idea of it, well he saw how upset I was getting everytime someone announced a girl pregnancy so he said we could try again and he's on board to sway as much as he can.

Dh always says ds2 broke him. That kid didn't sleep till after he was 2.5 years old. Not only did he not sleep but he would scream all night. Even when he could talk in full sentences he still screamed and wouldn't give an answer about what he wanted. I had post natal depression so dh took over ds2s care while I dealt with ds1 (who decided to sleep through just after ds2 was born. But I still laid away listening to ds2 scream while dh tried to sooth him) he says when ds1 cried as a baby he could tune him out and do the things he needed to do with him to help, but after ds2 he can't tune that sound out and it gets to him now. Although I mainly do the baby stuff now and he does the bigger kid stuff. So maybe he thinks he is going to have ds4 shoved onto him as well while I looked after a 5th. But ds1 is now 9, he'd be 10 at least by the time a baby was born. And we'd hopefully have a new house where ds1 and 2 could share and sort themselves out mostly. I mean they can read to themselves, settle themselves to sleep, dress themselves etc they don't need standing over for the most part. Ds3 wouldn't need much doing for him really either, it would just be ds4 who needed help dressing and reading to at night and that.
I'm worried if we have another before moving they won't give us a 3 bed, it'll have to be a 4 (council) and they are so rarely available that we could be waiting much longer and be forced to go somewhere we don't really want to be just to get the right number of rooms. Where as if we are already in a house then it's up to us whether we need more space or not.
I think he sees that I'm upset, he keeps cuddling me and giving me sympathetic looks but they are not answers.


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Just settling down to catch up on OBEM. 4od will only let me watch from episode 3 but I think I saw the first 2 or 3 anyway. I can't remember lmao

Also forgot to say, I'll be 29 in July but hubby is 46


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I think I can still drown it out a little if I really need to, but I guess it doesn't bother the mother as much as it would the father. At least in our house thats the case. A friend of mine has 4 girls and she said that it was her second that broke her and her DH. They were engaged at the time they had her and ended up postponing the wedding for YEARS cause they were on and off more than a light switch!! She was convinced that he'd start a fight with her just so he could walk out and get a break! She reckons the transition of going from one child to two was the hardest for her personally, the third and fourth girls just kinda fitted in and there were no big changes to the family other than needing to keep at the council for a bigger house which they got just before their 4th daughter was born luckily enough!
Its not fair that he won't give you an answer mob. Do you think he is leaning toward trying a sway soon? Or anytime for that matter? We were in that in between place around Xmas and one day in the car I burst out crying and DH hadn't a clue what was wrong with me. Eventually I got the words out and he stewed for a few days before saying that if it meant that much to me then he would try again. Of course I then felt I was pushing him into a child he wouldn't want so I back tracked and said we'd stick with just the two of them but he told me he felt that if we left it about another year (well it'll be late Sept/early Oct at the earliest so about 10 months since we decided to have another) he might be less fixated on getting a full nights sleep.

Haven't watched OBEM for a few weeks, found myself getting really upset everytime there was a little pink bundle born. I used to love watching and critiquing some of the womens inactive labour (I hate seeing a lazy woman labouring lying down, eh hello...have you ever heard of gravity!!! lol) Dh watches too although he likes to pretend he doesn't lol. Hes always full of questions like "What does that feel like?" or "Would it be like a big poo?!" haha, he'd be dead serious asking as well. Does have me in bits laughing at him!

As for your ages mob, don't they generally say that the older the man the lower his sperm count (well, generally speaking no?) and the more likely to produce girls. Maybe that would be a talking point, though when I told DH we need to lower our fertility he was less than impressed at the idea. He prides himself on "producing" boys!!!

Just about to bring the boys for a nice long walk, the sun is shining and its fab outside!! All three of us fell asleep on the couch this morning, I was so tired from a night of teething with DS2 even a massive coffee couldn't keep me awake! DH came home at 1.30pm and found the 3 of us snoring!! He was going mad saying the kids won't sleep tonight, little does he know we were all asleep for about 2+ hours!! Oops!!

I don't know if he is thinking of having another at all! I think he wants to say no but doesn't want to upset me. I said to him today that I just need to know if it will happen, that I want to sway so I can at least say that I tried and I don't care when I just need to know if there's going to be another. This summer, next summer, whenever. All he had to say after I poured everything out was "I'm sorry I didn't make one" that makes no mention of the future.
I'm exhausted all the time lately. I fell asleep at 9 last night, woke up to go to bed and slept until I couldn't ignore the alarm any more at 7 this morning and am still tired.
I've not watched it for weeks either, I didn't see the end of the last series at all because it upset me. I had it recorded to watch when I felt better and in the end just deleted it. I'm almost all caught up with this series though, 1 more episode to go. Dh used to watch it too. I haven't watched any with him this series though in case I get upset, maybe I should lol


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