Originally Posted by
prayforprincess
Can I tell you guys something so personal that NO ONE knows? I just feel I have to get it out and tell someone because it weighs on me heavily but I can't talk about it with anyone in my life because no one knows....
My dh has a daughter. A 1 1/2 before we were married (when we were not together at the time) he had a one night stand with some girl when he was traveling for work. She had said she was pg but not keeping the baby. 1 month before our wedding child support papers were sent to our home. We had a paternity test done and the girl in fact was his. He has no relation with her has never met her etc. We don't even have a phone number. She and her mother live across the country in CA and while I was open to whatever my dh wanted to do, he has chosen not to be in contact or have a relationship so I have to support that decision.
So the fact is, even though we have 3 boys and so many failed ivf cycles under our belt where it just seems like we cannot have a girl - the truth is he can have a girl. And I can't help but be so damn resentful that some nobody stole the daughter I was supposed to have with my husband. It absolutely kills me! And if I have a 4th boy I just feel like, how am I getting boy after boy and she just bam got a girl 1st shot in one night with him? What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong that the girl swimmers aren't going to my egg??!!
Sorry, I'm sure reading this many of you have mixed emotions, but this is just one more thing that adds to my GD and makes things so much worse for me, if that's even possible. I want to believe that luck is in my cards this time but as u can see from my sig -- luck doesn't seem to be on my side...