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When I was growing up it seemed like every family had two or three children. Now I know quite a few people with just one child. Two is common, three is fairly rare. Four or more and people look at you as though you've lost your mind.
I always say, when you pay for my children is when you can tell me how many to have!
It's hard to say because there are so many diverse groups in the US. I live in a part of the US where there are a lot of LDS families (you may know these as "Mormons") and there were several families with 10-12 kids at my school growing up. That's not at all the norm tho. Most people have 1-3 kids. 4-6 is def. thought of as "weird" and the only reason you could possibly be justified in having so many kids is if you're a religious wacko or something.
I know what you mean - it's hard to say here as well actually. I live in a culturally diverse area too. In my Asian community, very few people have more than 2 kids. My african friends have 4-6 kids and it's considered normal to have big families to them, but most of the Australians I know don't have more than 3 to 4 kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
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OMG i HAVE NOOOOOOOOO INHIBITIONS WHEN IT COMES TO THE NUMBER OF KIDS I HAVE TERMS OF HOW I FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!I am actually really really proud to be a mum of 4 kids (soon 5) cause not only do i think both me and DH are doing well physsically with 4 kids i am nearing 40 dh over 40 an we look like in our late 20's but i think people who have an opinion are either really jealous to see you walking around travelling holidaying shopping even though you have so many kids (and company) and wonder how you manage to still smile about it, or they have been brought up with the 50's stigma that big families are 'poor' hence trash families living off state benefits and handouts.....but what we all fail to relaize is that most traditional well off hig society and upper class familes have many siblings and kids of their own..it is a very recent notion 21st centuary idea that big families consist of state dependant parents with no education or no intellect....but as you can see this is changing with the new generations of 'upper' 'rich' people like the celebrities who love having big families like vitoria beckam angelina and madonna the likes...
....but regardless what stigma is attached to number of children you have...i have them cause of MEand no other reason...both my parents come from big familes (dad is one of 11 and mum is 1 of 9) and there were only 3 of us....DH one of 5..i hated coming form a small family....for one i didn't have a sister...2. everyone i knew had at least another 1-2 siblings...and when it came down to it today...all these big families have even bigger families today together with all their own children and it is amazing to see them all get together in weddings and celebrations all enjoying the company of family with joy and laughter effortlessly casue eevryone knows everyone since childhood. there is no formality it is so joyous to watch and observe and and i am filled with envy!!!!
that is what i want for my future and i do NOT give a rats ass or care are one teely weeny little bit of what anyone thinks because at the end of the dayl IT IS ME who will have the the last laugh....having a big familily creates your own world of support company and protection...you never feel lonely and you don't psossibly can really feel bored.....and most of all you never need to feel insecure and dependant on anyone....your a self suffient individual with her onw castle and her own subjects who all are closely bonded and dedicated to each other no matter where life takes them....there are of course exceptions but on the whole....this is what it is like....
we are truly blessed and when we reach that ripe old age of 60+ and have our numerous grandshildren visit us and spend those special moments like christmas, new years or just for the sake of it... with us..with the constant laughter, bickering and plain noise of LIFE around us....we know even more how blessed we are......this is what a big family does for you....it is yours to own and noone can take it away from you.....everyone else is just plain jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!period!
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Originally Posted by pebmcp6
I am jealous of big families because I have always wanted 6-8 kids. Mostly boys but 1-2 girls would have been ok!
After my grandma passed away I truely realized that I wanted a big family... She had 5 kids, 27 grandkids (including a few that passed and a few steps), over 80 great-grandkids (Thanks to my 9 mormon cousins), and 2 great-great-grandkids. Everyone came from all over the place the week before she passed, for the funeral, and then stayed for Thanksgiving a few days later. We had to take trips to visit her, 20 at a time, and then revisit her 2-3x's a day for 4 days until it happened. My dad and I stayed to whole time but thats because we were her favorites and didn't want to leave.
It was amazing to see how much everyone loved her... When I die (many many years from now) I want a big family to come see me. I want them to talk and remember me the way we all talked about my grandma.
Our family get-togethers were always fun because we would had 40-200 people together 2-6x's a year. Normal 10-20 people for simple Holidays once a mth. Now I am sad... this year will be the first Thanksgiving without my aunt's sweets, my uncle's oddness, and both grandparents :tissue:
For me 2 kids, 4 grandkids, and maybe 4-8 greatgrandkids is not enough. I would really love 4 kids, 8-20 grandkids, and 20-60 greatgrandkids.... That would be so great!
I am the last of 4.
If anyone asks me in RL, I will say I'm done now that I have my 3rd and got the girl.
My DH and I have been seriously talking about a 4th in a few years, because he still longs to try to get a 3rd son and I would like to try to sway again for a 2nd DD. He knows what I would try to do, but since he does not believe in swaying (and no articles I've shown him changes his mind), then he still feels there would be a chance to finish out with another boy, which of course, might happen, since sways are never 100%.
The only thing that would stop us from having a 4th would be money. I do not care what anyone thinks. Most people that I know ONLY have two kids, and it's only my sisters (5 and 4 kids, each) that have a lot of kids and whenever I mention their big families, people act like their jaws fall off. My sisters love all their kids and each kid is differnt and speical in his own way. I really feel the only thing about having more kids is the neccessity of being able to support them finanically, and that would be my only honest concern.
I don't care what the Joneses do. I've never been in that mentatily. Deep down, I've always wanted 4, and to stop at 3, would be almost like if my mom stopped at 3 and never had me. I feel deeply about this and feel like #4 is going to be born for some reason, and I just need to follow my heart.
Hmm, it seems this forum is gathering moms who want more then 2! Or moms who are ready to chase their dream no matter what, ( like me lol! ) That's so cool!!!
I have few things that *could* prevent me from having one more: my age :tissue:, lack of space and money ( but I doubt we 'll get rich if we don't have 4th lol!) and no help, which is big, bcos I'm so not super hero :worry: I'm exhausted and overwhelmed with 2 kids, let alone 4 :worry:
Yeah, Z-B I worry about that stuff too. Money's definitely tight for us, but I'm also finding the older I get the less energy I have to be a 'good' mom. DS3 spends far more time playing electronic games and watching tv than his older brothers did, and I'm sure I'll be even worse with my DD. We're definitely done with 4, though, so I keep thinking (hoping) things will get easier when my twins get old enough to be a teeny bit more self sufficient and less high maintenance, then I'll only have 2 to worry about...until they hit their teens, at least!