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Hubby and I want 3 kids and I am too afraid to try naturally as I will end up with another girl. envisioned - I am thinking of going HT for the 3rd. I only want to get pregnant if I am guaranteed it will be a boy. But it is extremely pricey. We have to figure out what to do about that. 2 of my closest friends have boys, my sister and my hubby's close friends have boys. It really does feel like we are being tortured! I almost just want to find couples with girls and only hang out with them.
:hugs: I know how you feel. I hope you get a girl in the future.:HH:Quote:
Originally Posted by mydream
I never wanted daughters, and I have 2. I think the baby I am carrying is probably a girl too, though that hasn't been confirmed--just my gut feeling. I am not interested in girly stuff, hate dolls, barbie, pink, etc. I am a tomboy and am much happier going to baseball practice than dance recitals. I think it is awful the way things work out-- so many of us get the opposite of what we want; I just don't understand WHY. There are people desperate for girls. Why were they given to ME? And all those boys that go to people who want girls.... Why can't I have them?? I just don't see why we can't all get what we want.
I totally agree!!! Why can't we have the boys? There are so many women that want girls and the ones who don't even want 1 daughter get 2 or more. I've always dreamed of going to football and baseball games. I don't want to go to dance recitals either...too girly. Are you going to find out what you are having? I wish I didn't for this one. I want to actually enjoy my pregnancy and I don't now. My husband really wanted to know. I knew it would be a girl as I never get what I want and I was right. I hope this 3rd one is your boy!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobbermittens
I am not finding out. I found out with DD2 and it ruined the pregnancy. I hope you get to try again and have a boy--I know several families with GGB. It is totally possible!Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedreams
I think it's smart not to find out. You really want to enjoy the miracle of pregnancy. It's probably a cool experience not knowing until birth. I will probably do that for my 3rd. I see people with mixed genders also but when you have 2 of the same, you feel the odds of having the opposite gender are against you. But, it does happen. GLQuote:
Originally Posted by Hobbermittens
I wanted 3 DS. Maybe after 2 of them I might've entertained the idea of wanting a DD because who knows how you ACTUALLY will feel about your reality, but my dream was definitely all boys.
I have 3 DD's. I'm still kind of shocked that this is how it turned out for me. At this point the whole all-boy dream is over, even the balanced family is out the window, and I'd be happy just to have a single DS. I had HUGE disappointment with my girls, every single one, but I've gotten over it. I have gender desire still for a DS but I'm no longer shattered by the fact that I have 3 DD. It's an active choice some days to love my family make-up rather than an easy one but I am choosing to embrace it. Part of that is out of the whole mama-bear defense mechanism; people DO criticize the 3 girl dynamic, and I'm not about to let my girls think for one second that there is a single thing wrong with being a female or with having 2 sisters. I couldn't be more proud or more in love with a son than I am already with my girls, but it took me awhile to realize that. All that said I still want to experience the mother/son relationship, see my DH have the father/son bond, and for my girls to have a brother.
I will say my DD1 (6) could not be more of a tomboy; never wears skirts/dresses/pink, birthday parties are all super hero themed, all her friends are boys, and she plays on co-ed soccer and t-ball teams. Everyone always assumes she has an older brother but I think she's just mama's girl :bigsmile: Now if DD2 or DD3 do want to do dance classes or have a princess party I will let them and I'll do it with joy. They're my kids, and the happiest I've ever been is seeing one of them truly enjoy themselves, even if it isn't something I personally enjoy, KWIM?
GL to you whatever you decide bluedreams, but quite honestly I'd say go HT given that you're open to it.
I was playing my online game last week and one of the guys that I used to respect we were chatting on ventrilo (that's a voice device so you can talk in real time to people and play a game at same time). And he was talking about his son, and how glad he was that he had a boy, and at first they told him the boy would be a girl (it was an ancient U/S machine and the DR wasn't 100 percent sure) and he went on and on about how unhappy he was hearing the baby was going to be a girl and was soooo relieved later when he found out the baby was really a boy.
Anyway, I told him that I have 2 boys and am expecting a girl, and him and the other guy in the voice channel told me they were so "sorry for me." The other guy is retired Navy and has 1 son and 3 girls, he kept having girls trying to have another boy. He said his boy was so easy and his girls were so much harder. Then that made the other guy feel more justfied in his reasoning, and they went on about it until I left group and the chat.
Anyway: I guess bottom line is I've always wanted just girls. God gave me two sons that I treasure and now that I know I'm having a DD took the pressure off, and I can say since I found out #3 is a girl, maybe this is gonna sound totally wrong to say, but I found myself appreicating the boys in ways I never have before because my vision was so clouded with gender desire.
Anyway, ever since finding out #3 is going to be girl, I've heard so many comments about "watch out", "you're going to regret having a girl", "beware of the teen years", and it even makes me more pissed off when people say these things to my fragile DH, who deep down I guess really didn't want a girl...it's just feeding into his fears of a hellish teen years, pink tufus, a child that he cannot relate to, etc.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, but in my personal experience, it seems that society wants to put girls on a certain pedesdal..that they have to do ultra girly activities only, or they can't do certain things, or they're going to behave a certain way at a certain age, and I'm already tired of the stereoptypes. My DH was saying the other day he hopes she's a tomboy, plays soccer, and doesn't want to do girly stuff, and I got angry and said, "You'd embrace whatever Quinten and Evan wanna do, so why would you not do the same for a girl child?" He didn't have anything to say in return, but if our Lillian wants to dress in pink all the time, then re: what begonia said, that is fine with me. If it makes her happy, it will bring joy to me. If she wants to be a tomboy and never play with a Barbie doll (I did happen to love dolls growing up), I will support that too.
I think a lot of this disappoinment about girl gender has to do with society's notion still that a boy is "better", although I don't agree. I think both boys and girls are blessings. The only thing I DON'T want for my daughter is for her to think she can't do something because of her gender, and I want her to reach whatever goal or dream she has in mind.
I apologize for my rant...and bluedreams, if you feel that strongly about it, I'd def. go HT.
Male chauvinism and stereotypes of genders is where a lot of my GD comes from. I wish people would stop making rude comments about girls. You would think in this day and age we would be passed that. I guess not. We have a long way to go!! When my DD1 was born, I didn't want to dress her in pink with bows. I dressed her in normal clothing like I do now. She wears some pink but I put her in jeans & sneakers and she hates wearing anything in her hair. She is also not too fond of dresses...that's my girl! For her first birthday we had a Wonder Pets theme, which is a show on Nick Jr. She loves that show and there is nothing pink or girly about it. It is just for kids (both boy & girl). Anyway, a friend of mine who has 2 boys and is dying for a girl asks my husband and I when we are doing princess-themed parties. For now, I am not doing that. I am not going to push all that stuff on her just because she is a girl. If she decides she wants to do princess parties when she is older than I will be opened to it but I am not going to tell her what girls should and shouldn't do. It will be the same if we have a boy. I am not going to push sports on him and only dress him in blue. Also, these "macho" men who have sons don't know how their sons are going to turn out. They may not like sports at ALL and may be more interested in dance, fashion or whatever. I know plenty of men who are not interested in sports and that's fine. I also know men who are very feminine. You never know how your kids are going to turn out. That's why you get parents who are disappointed in their children if they don't turn out the way they have dreamed of. Just because you have a boy doesn't mean he is going to be a professional baseball player! You know how hard that is?! Keep dreaming! lol
My husband is great though. He loves our DD1 to death and he wanted our 1st child to be a girl. However, he is a little disappointed that the 2nd one isn't a boy but he thinks it will be adorable to have 2 girls close in age and they will be daddy's girls :). I know I will love my girls, but I really want to have the experience of having a son. I think I want a son more than he does. It's just a desire that I have. Auroara78 - I think I would feel the same way if my 3rd were a son. I feel I would appreciate my daughters more because that would take the pressure off. I totally understand. Is it wrong? Who knows? I'm not sure if feelings are right or wrong.
Begonia - sorry you get the criticism from people about having 3 girls. Must be tough to hear sometimes. It seems that women with same-gender families always have to defend their kids. I wish I could just ignore the comments but I am very sensitive to them. I feel bad for my husband because he will probably hear the comments the most. I guess daughters are a curse. I hate jerks! Can't children just be a blessing?? But I want to thank you ladies for your experiences. It makes me feel better to know I am not alone.
I have had actually had someone (SIL) say that my boys were a curse. She said, "when I have kids, I better not be cursed with all boys like you." I also had someone tell me that I maybe I did something bad in another life, so God punished me with all boys. Its tough having 4 of the same gender in a row--people just gotta make rude comments about it. I always wanted boys--but I want a girl too. i think its normal to want to experience both.