Baby here and do not feel any better

I hope you start to feel better soon, and well done for shielding your little boy from this, that alone tells me you're a great mum and that you do love your little boy

I understand how frustrating it is to want something so badly that seems almost impossible, when other people get it so easily, but what helped me a little was to think that yes I wanted a girl, but I didn't want [I]thier[I] girl I wanted my own and so it didn't matter what other people had because none of them had what I wanted, which was my own daughter

Sometimes I look back and I think of all the time I 'wasted' thinking about gender, if I'd known I'd get a girl one day I could have relaxed but none of us have a crystal ball, and so we have to live on with hope in our hearts that someday somehow we will get our wish or we will learn to live happily without it

I hope that you go on to get your girl, but most of all I hope you go on to lead a fulfilled and happy life and that over time your heart heals and you start to feel the joy and love you have for your son which I know is already in your heart waiting to be discovered

Please hang in there, an 8 week old baby is sort of a hard thing to feel ga-ga over for many of us. When I had my GD baby (DS 3) I did have a harder time bonding with him than with my others for MANY reasons, the least of which was GD. (it had been 13 years since I'd had a baby and he was a very difficult baby as well - up until the 4-6 month mark where he started to become easier and more engaging, I felt like a glorified babysitter!) Over the course of time he grew on me ;) and now I can't imagine life without him. He's my smartest and most beautiful child by a longshot.

You're already doing the best thing for yourself and for your baby - you're "faking it till you make it". That's the absolute best way to get through this - be a mom, even if it feels like you're going through the motions for now, in time, it won't feel that way any more.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

You're already doing the best thing for yourself and for your baby - you're "faking it till you make it". That's the absolute best way to get through this - be a mom, even if it feels like you're going through the motions for now, in time, it won't feel that way any more.

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Totally agree with this. Also, I'd advise if you don't feel like it, make sure to take lots of pictures! I was so bummed that DS1 was a boy when he was born that I also felt more like a forced "babysitter" than his loving momma! I did have a burst of love when he was first born, but when reality set in, and it wasn't the daughter I wanted for so long, I took care of him and loved him, but my heart wasn't 100% in it.

I gave it time, and now he is the sweetest most precious thing ever. He is 4 years old, and he tells me all the time: "Mommy, you're my very best friend."

Give it time; they even say in preg. and childbirth books that not ALL women will fall instantly in love with their children. This could be your case, made more severe by GD. Take care of him as best you can, and as he grows, and your bond deepens, I think you will be suprised.

Lots of pictures, lots of cuddles, and give yourself lots of time to develop the bond! It will come eventually...I promise you that.

Feel better. I know how hard it is to deal with gender disappointment. It will get better over time.

Good point about the pictures - I think pictures may have actually helped me bond with him. I would look at pictures and think "OMG he's so cute, I love him so much" and at the time I even recall thinking how strange it was that I'd almost rather see pictures than deal with my actual baby!! it's like those warm fuzzy feelings I had for pictures of him started to translate over to the actual kid himself!!

:hugs: I'm so sorry. My sister gave birth to her second little girl when my ds1 was born. I had pretty bad GD with him (it was nothing compared to my second boy though). I never wanted even one boy, and I badly wished for a girl both times. When I saw my sister get what I wanted twice, it was really hard.
I even thought I hated my sister for a while; I was so eaten up with jealousy. But as my boy grew and I saw more and more of his personality, and as I watched my niece grow, I moved on from being jealous.
Even if you don't feel like you can bond with him straight away, you will adore him eventually. You're not horrible for not falling in love the minute you set on him, and you're definitely not alone. I didn't feel that special love with ds2. It took me months to bond with him properly (he was very fussy and didn't like to be held). But now he is my loveliest, awesome boy.
I hope that whatever choice you make whether it's swaying or going HT goes well and that you find happiness in your boy the way I did.

My GD baby is beautiful! I didn't want a boy at all. I was disappointed when DS1 was a boy but he is gorgeous, and very advanced for his age so he always gets more attention that girls his age! On DS2 I loved him but didn't bond straight away, i found out the sex before birth and was sooooo disappointed! Now I am his whole world! All he wants is me, he has no time for my husband and he will kiss and cuddle me all day. I couldn't live without my two boys! Having a boy is now not my worst nightmare, not having my boys is my absolute worst nightmare, and no girl including one I have would Ever be able to replace them! I can't describe the feeling, it's pure love!! I hope you feel it, it doesnt take away a desire for a daughter but it's a pure blessing! I can't wait till they wake up tomorrow for all my kisses and cuddles I miss them and they've only been in bed 5 hours :)

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Originally Posted by Pstar32

My GD baby is beautiful! I didn't want a boy at all. I was disappointed when DS1 was a boy but he is gorgeous, and very advanced for his age so he always gets more attention that girls his age! On DS2 I loved him but didn't bond straight away, i found out the sex before birth and was sooooo disappointed! Now I am his whole world! All he wants is me, he has no time for my husband and he will kiss and cuddle me all day. I couldn't live without my two boys! Having a boy is now not my worst nightmare, not having my boys is my absolute worst nightmare, and no girl including one I have would Ever be able to replace them! I can't describe the feeling, it's pure love!! I hope you feel it, it doesnt take away a desire for a daughter but it's a pure blessing! I can't wait till they wake up tomorrow for all my kisses and cuddles I miss them and they've only been in bed 5 hours :)

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so funny--I didn't have too much GD at all--but I just can totally relate to missing my son when he's sleeping---I can't wait to hang out with him all day--never knew I could love something so much:) To the original poster--I said it before in the post, but I am sure that it will just take time for you to feel this! I have friends IRL who didn't bond with their babies until at least 3 or 4 months especially when they had GD.

ps though I still also have the desire for a girl!

I'm sorry you feel this way. This sounds like gd and post partum. I would look for counselling to help yourself. Ppt