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I kept my sway a secret from EVERYONE after getting an opposite with my last sway. I didn't even tell my husband or anyone on the site! O.O
For some reason, certain parties seem to delight in other people's failure and it's like they just delight in it when you get an opposite. (not the ladies on this site of course, but I did get that vibe from neighbors, family members, and people on IG after my previous sway went south.)
Won't tell anyone, besides DH of course. In my estimation, the same people that will ask "Oh, didn't you want a girl?" or "Going to try for that girl?" would turn around and be judgmental about swaying. So I'm staying mum!
I totally agree Craving!! It's the ones who are the RUDEST about "oh you need a girl" who seem to get their jollies when you don't.
I feel exactly the same xQuote:
Originally Posted by CherryBlossom
nope, I won't even tell our family. DH is the only one that knows. my best friend doesn't even know. most of my close friends all have girls and most have one or two of each gender so I honestly don't think they understand and the rest would think I wasn't grateful for what God blessed us with, which is not true, I certainly am after our loss...everyone is grateful for their children but I see nothing wrong with a little push to be able to have a girl, of course they won't see it like that.
I have horrible pregnancies, hypermeisis, and I really cannot continue to just keep trying to have more and more kids like some of my friends do.
it's also partially because when I was pregnant the last time (my third pregnancy but ended in loss at 19 weeks). I had so many comments of I bet you wish its a girl, blah blah blah, they were more annoying than my OWN wish to have a girl!! I can't imagine what people would say if they knew I was saying. for some reason it irritated me the most with my mother in law (she had 3 boys.. herself).. My angel baby was a little girl :( but I didn't tell anyone I was going to the U/S when I did, I told them all I wasn't going to find out.. Regardless, people I'm sure will be tip toeing around us the next time we get pregnant
We aren't telling anyone. In fact, no one knows we're ttc -- ppl already make "don't you know how to prevent that?" comments about our large family. ;) So the sway will definitely stay just between the two of us. DH is skeptical but if it increases our chances of having a girl, he's all for it.
Good luck, ladies! I'm so thrilled to be able to have a safe place to talk about all this!
I have told 2 good friends. One friend has 2 boys like me and wants to check out the site when she is ready to try. Then of course my DH knows but thats it. My mom doesn't even know and i normally tell my mom everything. I am not even telling her we are TTC like I did with my boys. She can be judgemental about stuff.
Oh, and another two reasons I don't tell anyone:
1- Not only would people be judgmental, but I don't want to say out loud and have it be common knowledge how much I'd prefer a girl. Being pessimistic about my chances, I feel like I'll have another boy and don't want it to ever get back to him that I tried (really hard) to have a girl instead. Things like that stay around a looong time in big families. My husband's aunt has three boys and thought her third was going to be a girl. When he was born she dressed him up in one of the dresses, just to see how he looked and be able to put a dress on one time (which I kind of get now)... That "boy" is 26 now and still gets teased about it in the family.
2- I haven't even told my best friend and when I thought about why, it's because she has one boy and honestly doesn't care what her second and last will be. My pessimism being what it is I think she'll probably have an "oops" girl and I'll have a hard-core sway opposite, and I want her to believe me when I have to fake-it-till-I-make-it about being super excited for her, and not make her feel bad in the least when she has a girl.
I told my family, my brother, mom and (dad knew becuz mom told him), and my sisters knew about my swaying.
My oldest sister just shook her head and thought it was BS, because she's so thin and has 4 boys and 1 girl, I tried to explain its the overall pattern of food itself too (she is constantly snacking, always has a meat with every dinner time meal, even if she doesn't eat a lot of it, etc.)
My other sister who had just 4 boys looked completely fascinated by the info and I think it made her gender desire worst. Her husband had the snip a few years ago, and she has admitted freely that if he hadn't, she would have kept trying until she got a daughter.
My brother was neutral about it, but felt it was a little bit akin to "voodoo." And wasn't sure, but since I am pg with a girl that I swayed with, his thoughts have changed and he feels it must have "worked" because he sorta thoguht I was destined to have another boy since there are so many boys in my family.
My mom took swaying as some kind of guarantee and I had to keep reminding her before I found out that nothing was fool proof, and I think in a way having to deal with her expectations kind of helped me stay grounded that even though I may be "increasing my odds" having a DD was far from a sure bet.
I did tell a close friend of mine, but she also thought I was destined to make only boys, and was very negative about it. I stopped talking to her about it when it got her fussy. I did mention the ideas of swaying to some of my co-workers but usually got the whole "I've grown horns out of my head" looks, but some were interested in the maternal condition idea, and I tried to focus on more tangible ideas such as diet, etc when discussing it.
I've really piped down on talking about it though because most people have a very horrified response to it, as if it is unnatural. To me, ever since I had son 1, I always thought "there must be a way to try to get a daughter other than just sheer luck...." I guess for me, I always had a feeling there was something out there I could do to help my odds, so I guess gender swaying was just a part of my heart before I even met you lovely ladies.