Struggling with pigeon pair families.. still

If I had a boy from HT in which I plan to try, I would be happy and complete and accept that the boy would never have a brother.

I ideally wanted a girl and a boy in whatever order they came and I did not. I had 3 girls. But even if the 3rd would be a boy, I would be happy.

I just do not think after never having a boy if I finally had a boy that I would really focus too much on those with a girl and a boy.

Yes, 4 kids will be too much and they would hardly be able to fit in my small townhome, but just finding out about HT now, I would be willing to have 4 kids and a small home etc. etc.

Sorry for blabbing.

The whole point is if I got a boy I would not look back to that.

It is like after I had my vbac, I do not get too jealous of those any more that just had vaginal births. Yes ideally I would never have wanted cesareans, but I got a taste of vaginal birth, and I cannot look back. can only be thankful that it worked for me.

Hope that makes sense.

Good luck to you.

I feel the same about pigeon pair families. It is difficult for me to understand that most of them did not sway or anything and got one from each. I specially hate the mothers of BG, because it gives me the feeling that I failed. My best friend has 3 girls and I don't have too much of a problem with that. She told me how much she wanted a boy. That made me feel equal. But I do really feel jealous of my neighbor who just got a baby girl after two boys....

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

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Originally Posted by Zivic-Bubac

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

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:hugs: Who knows - that friend who has 3 boys may have badly wanted a daughter! It could be a reason she is deciding to have a fourth? Not many people know about my GD, and lots of them think that I really wanted sons (lol) because of the way I try to hide my desire for DDs. Maybe she's secretly having GD too.
You may not have the dream of having all boys, but you definitely have the chance of having two sons to go along with your two daughters. (And then you'll have the family make-up envied by many - two girls and two boys :awe:)

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Originally Posted by Zivic-Bubac

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

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At least girls can be tomboys and play sports and do a lot of boy type things but a boy can not play dress up or with dolls... thats what makes me sad. I have all my old dolls just collecting dust.

I'm also still jealous of PP families, and it makes me really happy when they intentionally have a third. But part of me also feels sorry for them. They will never get to see two little boys wrestling with each other on the floor or playing trains (or two little girls doing whatever little girls do together!).

Wow...one would think all those feelings would go away after you had your boy. I would love nothing more than to have a baby boy in addition to the two girls I have. But I do know what you mean. Pigeon pairs are perfect and even with 3 and at least one of each gender sometimes it feels like one too many.

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Originally Posted by PlanB

So I had bad gd after I had 2 girls. But then I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant with a boy from 1 ivf Pgd cycle.

He is now 14 months and I still deepdown secretly despise pigeon pair families. If they go on and have a third then instantly my hatred disappears.

I particularly hate them when the kids are spoiled little snots.

Anyway to make matters harder 99% of people I know have a pigeon pair. Fortunately some are having 3rd babies.

When will this gaping raging chip on my shoulder go away? I think I am rude to people and they don't like me and I dribble further down into my hole.

I even struggle badly with people who do high tech with their second. I think do you want to avoid 2 of the same gender so badly you are willing pay heaps and go through the stress to do that.

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I really think its a case of the grass is greener....
I have a pigeon Pair, A girl then a Boy.
I never really thought about it at the time but after I had my girl the midwife said "you are so lucky to have a girl, it doesnt matter what you have next, because you have got your girl" now I get it. and sometimes I feel incredibly guilty around mothers with all boys about having a girl because I did absolutely nothing to sway for her. Although I was a text book girl dieter at the time, low fat everything, worked out everyday, skipped brekky and drank diet drinks. and not sure baout time but it was neither frequent or long abstinence.

When I conceived my boy it was taking a long time to conceive. I just wanted to get pregnant so unintentionally became a textbook boy dieter to promote fertility and timing was definately all through ovulation, chinese medicine accupunture everything.

You could say i had it all - a boy and a girl, the family was equal but I just felt the need to have another, to give my daughter a sister, or my son a brother. I looked at families with 3 kids, any combination and just felt envious. classic case of the grass is greener.

After months of convincing my DH to try for number 3 I am 8 weeks pregnant.... and feeling very nervous that I did the right thing. If its not a girl like we hoped for my son will be very happy to have a playmate but I will have to deal with the gender disappointment for my daughter. that will be hard.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

Plan B I feel similar about PP. Especially since my 2 SIL have BG and GB and MIL has never tried to hide her favoritism towards her granddaughters :-(
I can't say how I'll feel if HT is successful and we finally have our daughter. Will I be too exhausted parenting 3 kids to feel jealousy or will I look at the family of 1 G or PP and find a knot still in my stomach?
GD sux big time. Everytime I hear of another friend having a daughter I clench up and a part of me grieves. I detest this part of myself.Thankfully this forum exists and I can be honest and frank here without fear of judgment x

I feel like PP are all I see around me. Especially in movies and tv. It's like the world is mocking me.