How did you convince DH to try for another when he felt done?

Considering I did all the night wakings and all feedings since I wasn't able to pump and DS3 refused a bottle, let alone formula, my DH was concerned about my sanity adding a 4th. The boys are 12y, 9y and 19 months and sometimes he comes home and I'm like ahhh you take them, I'm done today lol and the fact that I LOVE to sleep. (I do love saying "The Boys" rather than the kids but reallllly want a DD) he was talking about finances, ect but then said "Ok let's do it, I'll be working just as hard anyway"

Granted my youngest only slept through the night at 11 months old and is just now self soothing himself to sleep. So like others have said, let some time pass and let him "forget" the newborn stage and sleep deprivation. In the meantime do all u can to sway so when he says ok, you can start TTC and be swaying already.

My DH was clear that he only wanted 3, so I told him fine and started getting rid of all the baby stuff. He said he wanted to get a V, but I told him that while I respected his feelings about not going for 4, I needed to get to a point that I was OK with it too, and right now, I'm not there yet. We did not discuss it anymore for a long time, and I seriously thought that he'd never give in, so I didn't push it. One night we were talking and he asked my if I still wanted to try for the girl, what if it were a boy, etc and why was I getting rid of baby stuff if I still wanted one. I told him I did want antoher, even if it were a boy, I just couldn't help the way I felt. He asked me if we had another, would I promise to still pay attention to him, give him his "time", etc. Then he said if I wanted another one, he'd go along with it. He's not too thrilled, but will love the baby and help care for it, etc....so here we are. I keep thinking we need to hurry and get preggo before he changes his mind... LOL

My Dh is such a flip-flop - he changed his mind so many times!
Before we had kids, he was admant that we were only having one. He would have been perfectly happy to have only Ds1.
Then after I got pregnant with ds2, he decided 2 was the perfect number of kids. So we were temporarily 'done', even though I was secretly wishing for a girl at the time. Then a few months later, I told him how I felt and after weeks of coaxing he sort of agreed to try 'one more time' for a girl.
Two years later our DD was born and we were both done. I no longer had any baby fever (at the time) and I was content with my 3.

And NOW almost 2 yrs after my third was born, Dh feels like he's not done! After all those yrs of saying he never wanted a big family, now he wants one more baby. Yikes. Well, I want one more girl, so I'm happy to ttc again - but it was the biggest shock of my life when he suggested we have another!

Wow I can't imagine DH every changing his mind like that Myloves! How fun for you :)

I have to say you ladies have given me a lot of hope! I feel like I know my DH pretty well and even though he often responds to comments about a third with , "who will you be having the third with?, as it won't be me" I think he has to start against it and to not agree with me too quickly as I think it is still important to him to feel like he is deciding....although so far I have gotten my way with the timing each time (and in the end he has been happy about it too!) It is too bad that we have to go through all the discussions,etc though as it would be so much easier if he would just follow my lead from the beginning :bigsmile:

I'm also wondering did you all find three to be a lot more work then 2?

Oh my OH says that too - "Who' you having more kids with!?" and I usually respond "You, whether you like or not" and then we have a whole "argument" (which isn't an argument at all) which usally ends up with this closing it: "The way I see it.. you can choose to have another baby or never again have sex but see me slowly developing as a crazy cat lady! What's it gonna be!?" And suddenly the baby doesn't seem that bad (mind, we got two cats already!)

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Originally Posted by Tiggerian

Oh my OH says that too - "Who' you having more kids with!?" and I usually respond "You, whether you like or not" and then we have a whole "argument" (which isn't an argument at all) which usally ends up with this closing it: "The way I see it.. you can choose to have another baby or never again have sex but see me slowly developing as a crazy cat lady! What's it gonna be!?" And suddenly the baby doesn't seem that bad (mind, we got two cats already!)

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Haha! :rofl: my DH has been known to say that before too. And when he threatens to go for a V I've told him on numerous occasions that if he did that he wouldn't NEED a V as I wouldn't go near him again :drama: I know :giggle: All in jest though! I just use the argument against a V that my friend & her DH are both embryologists and her DH is also an epigenetist and they're both dead set against V's as they believe they lead to an increase in prostrate cancer in older men. I know the jury's out on that but my hubby doesn't and as I tell him we've been TTC for a year now and got nowhere, so I think we can relax on BC in the future - allowing for the surprise baby #4 :holysheep:

My husband has always said we'd only have 2. JUST TWO! Seriously, putting pressure on me ey? Our first was my much desired girl, but she was born sleeping and it broke my heart :broken: After that we had 2 boy's, absolute loves of my life! I immediately told DH I was not done, I NEED a girl. He kept saying no, two is enough. I tried everything to convince him, made all these dirty promises I knew I couldn't keep haha! But he kept by his word, no, 2 is enough. And then one day I just burst out crying and couldn't stop sobbing. I think that's when he realized how deep my dream for a girl is. He knew about HT and has said we'd only try that once. (I'd say at least twice or till it works for us lol it takes the pressure of for me). So that's how I did it. And I hope you can convince your husband as well. Just the thought of having some hope has made me so much happier. And I can fully enjoy my boy's now, knowing that one day I may get my wish. FX for all you girls as well!

It took me 4 years to convince DH to have a 3rd. He wasn't as excited during my 3rd pregnancy mostly due to worries of how we would handle a 3rd, but once he held him he fell completely in love and he said he was glad I convinced him to try again.

Now 2 1/2 years later I am starting to get the baby itch again but I know it is highly unlikely I would be able to convince him to have a 4th, but you never know what the future holds!

Well I always wanted three kids, it had nothing to do with trying for a girl. But dh was convinced he was done after 2. Well he just kind of came around cause he saw that our kids were growing up and I told him that's why I wanted a third. Then I went off the pill and sort of did the rhythm method, then not and we just decided we were trying. GL!

These stories are so uplifting! :) I'm also hoping that since my feelings are stronger then DHs on the matter that he will be more willing to compromise. Now lets just hope I won't want a fourth-as I don't think he would ever, ever agree to that :D