Want a girl really bad? How about adoption?

You know, it's important to know that this site isn't just about nub guesses. That's not it's primary focus at all. While I think all the members here are welcoming to everybody, I think we who sway expect that newer members will respect what this site is really about.

It is a site for people who have suffered from gender disappointment or gender desire. It is a safe place for us to express our feelings with those who empathize. While nub guess are fun, there are many sites that do that. While you are here, I would hope that you understand that there are ladies who consider this their Internet home and don't expect to be judged here.

How lucky are you that you are okay with two boys and never raising a daughter! Good for you!

The context of your post and tone suggests you are truly naive about many things including the cost of adoption. Adoption can be very costly. Tens of thousands of dollars and gender selection is not always an option.

The tone here should be one of encouragement not judgement as you have done. This may not be the place for you.

be nice to everyone you meet, as everyone has their own story.

perhaps after the responses you have recieved you may realise that we are not 'terrible' mothers who havent wanted our children how ridiculous! I actually feel lucky if we did have a girl I wouldnt have had four children, and all of these wonderful little souls to cherish in my life. sometimes things happen for a reason. you should leave judgment out of this forum, it is not warranted.

I do agree with all the comments posted in reply to the first post however, I do have a different perspective on what the original poster is trying to say.

I truly believe that all the moms here are loving, caring and trying to raise their kids as best as they can and, I think suggesting adoption as a quick n easy solution is completelyimmature. But the problem is that Internet forums comprise of people from all over the world and this brings different views, different culture n thoughts. Here in USA adoption is expansive but I know that there are countries where you can just adopt an orphan child in 10 mins..without any official work n no money involved either....but again that is not the case everywhere.

Also, in some places raising a kid doesn't only mean providing food, clothes, shelter n love....it does go beyond that in a way that parents are responsible for their marriages, higher education etc. So, for people with that mindset it's hard to fathom how others can go adding new members to their families just like that. I believe that we now truly live in a global society :) Not everyone has same views, faith, understanding n compassion.

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Originally Posted by coocoobananas

I'd just like to add that you are being judgmental as you aren't in anyone's position yet. You don't know what gender your 2nd child is so you couldn't possibly. I didn't til I found out my 2nd was in fact a boy. I hope you do get another boy and you are content, all of us wish we could feel this way. But maybe you just may end up with your foot in your mouth as you imagine your life without a girl. I am completely grateful for my boys. I am sad I can't experience both. They are two seperate matters.

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:agree:
i didn't have GD until my first two sons were 13 and 16 years old.

I wish I went in thinking I get what I get. I wonder if not expecting something would have made it easier? I know 2 people who wanted 2 boys, I wish I went in feeling that way... But I probably would have had a girl, doh!

As for international adoption, I did look into it before this babe as I thought since I didn't want to be pregnant again, wanted a certain gender than this would be the best outcome. Plus my husband has always wanted to adopt...if you can direct me to where it's "easy" please lead me because I have not found that to be true at all!!

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Originally Posted by coocoobananas

As for international adoption, I did look into it before this babe as I thought since I didn't want to be pregnant again, wanted a certain gender than this would be the best outcome. Plus my husband has always wanted to adopt...if you can direct me to where it's "easy" please lead me because I have not found that to be true at all!!

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" Here in USA adoption is expansive but I know that there are countries where you can just adopt an orphan child in 10 mins..without any official work n no money involved either....but again that is not the case everywhere."

Did you interpret above lines as suggesting international adoption? No, that is not what I meant here...I meant that within certain countries for their residents, the process is easy. Specially, the girls abandoned after birth in villages are adopted without any paper work ..just with the approval of elders. In my own family my doctor grandmother adopted a girl child, who was abandoned by parents after birth and left near the trash can. She already had three of her kids at that time but the adoption was mainly to save the child. Many of these children are born out of wedlock and the social stigma associated with it results in abandonement OR sometimes poor parents wanting boy don't have a way to find out the sex of baby until they are born. If you google you will find many such stories in countries like India, Nepal, Pakistan etc. However, I do agree and have heard that international adoption from those same countries is very difficult due to bureaucracy n other issues.

Here, is one such story that I found on Internet.
India - Saving Baby Girls from Abortions, Abandonment

J&K: Couple adopts abandoned baby with a cleft lip - India - Jammu and Kashmir - ibnlive

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Originally Posted by coocoobananas

I wish I went in thinking I get what I get. I wonder if not expecting something would have made it easier? I know 2 people who wanted 2 boys, I wish I went in feeling that way... But I probably would have had a girl, doh!

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I feel the exact same way...I believe that since I wanted it badly so it didn't happen...if I had gone in the baby making process with no preference then I may have been lucky. Now, looking back I think I should have just gone for baby dancing everyday starting 4-5 days before ovulation, similar to what people do to just get pregnant.

Um I thought I was gonna be so upset with my third if I found out he was a boy cause I want a girl so bad... I found out he was a boy at 17 weeks I did not have one ounce of dissapointment like I thought I might... Just love for him I would never resent any three of my boys for their gender! I don't want to adopt I think I would not be able to bond like it was my own that is my personal feelings :) I could have 10 boys and I would love them all the same and not resent a drop of them... In fact my third who I wanted to be a girl sooo very bad I have the strongest bond ever with him