Thanks everyone:HH:, it has been a very difficult time but has brought the family closer together. You seem to take things for granted until something like this happens which makes you realise.
Atomic, im sure there will be moments that I have my regrets, I woke up the other morning in a pannic that I had made the wrong descision but within a minute I was certain that this is the right descision for me. I feel like my GD has been cut in half, there is the part that doesnt have a girl, I think that will always be there. Then there is the part that I was revolving my life around, trying to get my DG, worrying how, when, how much? Will I still walk away empty handed etc. That part has gone and I feel so much better for it. Me and DH are making plans for our future, we are having a trip to New York this year, taking the boys away, going to visit family etc. All of this has been put on hold for so long, now I plan on getting as much enjoyment out of my boys that I possibly can:)
