SOOO VERY CONFUSED AND FRAZZLED!!! PLEASE HELP

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Hi and welcome. I totally understand your frustration.

I know you've read a lot already but I'll throw one more thing at ya - this is the explanation of why this site is different than the "other guys". http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...sh-anyway.html I used to be on that site and it didn't make sense to me, so I started doing my own research and I found out that a lot of what was told to me as proven fact has either been totally debunked by newer science and technological advances, or was biologically impossible/improbable. A lot of us had successful sways after having opposites on the other site.

If you can give me some specific questions I can answer them for you and when I believe the "other guys" are wrong I will explain thoroughly why that is.

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Hi Atomic I am thankful of your response and please don't think I am doubting any of this but I am so frustrated with being pulled every which way and I truly want to believe in you strategy I just am being told even on here a million different things so please can you help and yes I will buy a personalized plan but when I am comfortable I have being buying anything to help any way but like everything else I am now being told No No NO basically I am an idiot for buying everything but the way I see it is that time is running out and as long as I have the products/devices on hand I don't care if I don't use them they were there 'just in case'.
My Questions are:
Supps?? any or none?? Which ones?? My history is I have a B12 deficiency so to take folic I MUST take my B12 daily and also it helps with bubby's brain development so I am NOT willing to stop that. I have low iron absorption, I was a heavy meat eater and still I was on the highest iron supplement but I am willing to drop that. I am lactose intolerant and have never been good with calcium levels and my doctor also had me on caltrate (calcium and vit D). I was taking cranberry, Magnesium, acidophilus and vit C and calcium all because I was told these sway pink.

When to BD? Do we BD everyday or FR everyday. Do we stop days before, after O or just DTD the whole way through. Even this site everyone has a different opinion. My History: I conceived my boys with every other day.

PH? Does it matter?? if not then why are we consuming crystal light (which I had to order from the USA) and why do we use rephresh, Sylk and aci-jel. As far as I was aware we used all these to lower out PH to make a hostile environment for the sperm and that low PH 4ish or so killed of boy sperm cause they just don't like it. My history PH 7-9 LacePrincess told me earlier don't douche and don't bother with the PH testers. WHY??? I thought that was the point of all these low PH things.

Microscope - I know I won't be able to tell the difference between the XX & XY geezzz I sucked at science when I was in high school I am not going to say I can do something that Doctors being paid high $$$ for microsort can do. All I wanted to do was have video evidence of the different factors. For example look at the little swimmers 1. after FR everyday. 2. after abstaining 3. with FR every other day and then all those factors with hot baths thrown in. Just to see if it looks like it lowers the count. This is all for my own record and so MAYBE just maybe I can see a difference. So everyone can jump off me now they know I am not trying to be shettles.

OPKS?? the saliva kit - when one day has lots of ferns and then 12 hours later there is no fern does that mean the egg has dropped or is it still there waiting just doesn't need the hormone surge anymore.
O+12??? I thought the point of this was to be able to control the PH levels in a more realistic time frame (8hrs) rather then days with cut offs.
Also cut-off doesn't seem to be an option even if it was the right way because so far charting I get +OPKS anywhere from CD10 some months and CD13 others.

Progesterone cream yes I have that too. I haven't used it yet. Some say yes it helps with plantation and sways girls but you have to continue with and slowly cut down over the first 3 months of BFP. Others just plan say NO and yet again I confused.

Diet? ok I have read the IG diet and I know it sucks because if you live in a small country town in the middle of Australia you can't get half the products they use and suggest in everyday meals. And I am starting to understand the gist of the LE diet and I am happy to follow it but I am a little confused after reading a post Atomic yourself posted about not cutting out sodium just having it low for health sake anyway and potassium you said it was ok and protein (i think). I have no problem losing weight I was hoping to do that anyway before getting pregnant because I like to be in good shape before so its easier to get back after. Also caffeine is it ok and how much me and DP??? Is red meat ok if you know it is hormone free what about chicken does it sway blue with or with out hormones (I can source both hormone chicken and hormone free)???

Anti histamines?? I can't get sudafed (not PE) I have tried and I have heard others brands of anti histamines are fine but which one??

Temps?? Some say its a must others say it if factored by so many other things it can't be relied upon which is it???

I know this is a lot and I am not trying to get information for free, I am not being lazy I have been reading for months just no one wants to agree and I am total fed up with all the stress (oh something else everyone says sways blue so I am trying not too trust me)
And I do thank you sooo very much for taking time out to even read all this I know with children time is valuable. :)

Just to update I have purchased the personalized plan and am looking forward what the future may bring

Just my opinion and I think atomic would agree.. I had the same questions about some supplements as I had recently had a late loss before ttc and what I gathered was it was better to continue them if my body did in fact already need them (I had continued my iron). Also, frequency stressed me out , I'm sure atomic remembers! But I kept getting positive opks and no, something like 18 In a row or crazy. So instead of dtd once it was 18 days in row! I realized somethings I couldn't control..
Anyway I was convinced it would be a boy bc of that but it has just been confirmed its a girl. I stopped stressing about the details so much and tried to focus on the main things I knew I could do, like skip breakfast , cut out meat..etc.
I hope this help a little to know you don't have to do it all perfectly !

I am just at the point of what really sways?? Diet?? Skipping breakfast?? When I conceived my 1st & 2nd sons I never ate breakfast anyway, it was only shortly before my 3rd I started to eat breakfast. With my 2nd son I lost about 12lb before he was conceived and with my 3rd son I was so low in levels of everything ie. Calcium, B12, Vit D & C, Iron and all sorts that my doctor was soo very angry with the midwives/doctors at the hospital I was seeing for my routine check up's. Also I have an aunty (by marriage) that was a complete health freak and almost looked sick she never ate red meat and SOME time just sometimes chicken, she ate veggies veggies and more veggies and ate such small quantities that I am surprised she was still breathing and over 8 years she had 4 BOYS. So I am sorry if I don't have 100% faith in JUST diet something else has to be a factor

3blue, I think you sound a lot like me in that I need EVIDENCE before I'd decide what to include in my sway. There is a studies section here if you want a browse: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/scie...t-studies.html
These are links to studies testing things that are PROVEN to sway.

supps/diet - I believe that it's a general decline in condition that will sway pink. You can still take some nutrient-supps whilst being deficient in a lot of other nutrients. However, the Trivers Willard hypothesis (about females in poor condition conceiving more girls) imply that the fewer nutrients you take the better. Saying that, if you need your iron and calcium it's a good idea to take them as swaying isn't worth risking your long-term health over.
To my knowledge, vit D does the same as mag (in helping nutrient absorption) so I don't think you'd need both. I don't know much about acidiphious. You can also take baby aspirin instead of cranberry as that does the same thing (lowers pH) but with less nutrients.
weight loss alone will sway pink, and I expect both IG and LE diet do sway pink so you have to pick the one you feel would work best for you and your family. I found the LE diet seemed easier as it's not so strict about foods you can't eat.
one of the studies in the above link shows that skipping breakfast significantly increases chance of a girl, so you should definitely try this

antihistamines - I think Zyrtec is the one most people take? I didn't take any as I was breastfeeding so not sure. I have Benadryl in my head too as another people take but you'd have to check that.
frequency - it's likely that FR and frequent BD will both sway pink, but FR probably sways more strongly than freuqent BD (because BDing often can raise your testosterone levels, CM quantity, pH, and total of swimmers in there). But with a strong sway you might need to do more attempts in order to get pregnant at all. You know your own fertility levels and sway strength so you'd have to decide that. I do think most people have a few attempts around ovulation, though.

OPKs - if you're planning fewer attempts it's a good idea to time the attempts around pos OPK. if you're planning on frequent BD you can just keep on going without it unless taking supps that you need to stop at OV.
temping- not necessarily necessary. I think it only became a strong part of swaying when the other site were planning cut offs or O+12 (which isn't really recommended on here as it's very hard to get pregnant from that). It can be useful if you like to know for sure if you have OVed or not, since it's possible but uncommon to get a pos OPK and fail to OV.

3blue, I think you sound a lot like me in that I need EVIDENCE before I'd decide what to include in my sway. There is a studies section here if you want a browse: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/scie...t-studies.html
These are links to studies testing things that are PROVEN to sway.

supps/diet - I believe that it's a general decline in condition that will sway pink. You can still take some nutrient-supps whilst being deficient in a lot of other nutrients. However, the Trivers Willard hypothesis (about females in poor condition conceiving more girls) imply that the fewer nutrients you take the better. Saying that, if you need your iron and calcium it's a good idea to take them as swaying isn't worth risking your long-term health over.
To my knowledge, vit D does the same as mag (in helping nutrient absorption) so I don't think you'd need both. I don't know much about acidiphious. You can also take baby aspirin instead of cranberry as that does the same thing (lowers pH) but with less nutrients.
weight loss alone will sway pink, and I expect both IG and LE diet do sway pink so you have to pick the one you feel would work best for you and your family. I found the LE diet seemed easier as it's not so strict about foods you can't eat.
one of the studies in the above link shows that skipping breakfast significantly increases chance of a girl, so you should definitely try this

antihistamines - I think Zyrtec is the one most people take? I didn't take any as I was breastfeeding so not sure. I have Benadryl in my head too as another people take but you'd have to check that.
frequency - it's likely that FR and frequent BD will both sway pink, but FR probably sways more strongly than freuqent BD (because BDing often can raise your testosterone levels, CM quantity, pH, and total of swimmers in there). But with a strong sway you might need to do more attempts in order to get pregnant at all. You know your own fertility levels and sway strength so you'd have to decide that. I do think most people have a few attempts around ovulation, though.

OPKs - if you're planning fewer attempts it's a good idea to time the attempts around pos OPK. if you're planning on frequent BD you can just keep on going without it unless taking supps that you need to stop at OV.
temping- not necessarily necessary. I think it only became a strong part of swaying when the other site were planning cut offs or O+12 (which isn't really recommended on here as it's very hard to get pregnant from that). It can be useful if you like to know for sure if you have OVed or not, since it's possible but uncommon to get a pos OPK and fail to OV.

Rainbow, it's good to see you here! Have you posted any new pics of your sweet cherub!? I'd love to see!!!

It's ok to doubt and I'm happy to explain anything, but I just don't want to be coming off like I am trying to bully or convince anyone to do swaying "MY" way (nor do I have the time to convince everyone LOL!) The point of this site is to just present the data and then you make up your OWN mind about what sway tactics make the most sense to you. I'm sorry if you feel like you're being singled out in any way, people just want you to hear both sides of the story and then you are free to decide for yourself what to include in your sway :)

Since you bought the personalized plan, I will make you a plan that has supps doses and stuff like that. REst assured, I NEVER omit any supplement that people require for their health, well being, or baby's well being. You may want to read this essay about calcium and why it may not sway http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...roversial.html (read all three parts, the links to the other two are in the first one) and this about cranberry. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...echniques.html

The reason why you are hearing different answers about frequency and when to BD and how often is because NO ONE really knows. Some of the other sites make blanket prescriptions but I don't operate that way - I want people to get pregnant in a timely fashion (people were going for 2 years getting BFN on the other site and that is unacceptable to me) and honestly we don't have enough data to really say anyway. I will give you a suggestion all spelled out in your sway plan based on what ~I~ feel to be best based on your personal history and your wishes. but until then, please read the following, you will see why it's a pretty complex issue and not something one can easily give a 'cookie cutter' approach to.

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...pink-blue.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...frequency.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...pink-blue.html

You can get a boy or a girl with ANY BD frequency. But DTD every other day is a blue-friendly frequency pattern.

RE pH, there is a super in depth explanation of pH here that should answer all your questions http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ph-pickle.html Whether I think pH sways or not and for what reason is irrelevant, many people WANT to include it and so I have the info available for people who choose to include it. This site is meant for general info for people, not trying to strongarm anyone into doing what I personally think is best.

I would personally not waste time with the microscope but if it's fun to you, carry on.

Here is the case against timing, the drawbacks of O+12 and how weak the evidence is supporting it. This coupled with the pH essay I linked to explains why I am not a fan of O+12.
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...le-timing.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...le-timing.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...ry-o-12-a.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...es-o-12-a.html

With the LE Diet, no, I don't think you technically need to reduce sodium or potassium, but some people WANT to. That's ok. I got my girl eating tons of sodium and tons of potassium, but since reducing sodium is good for overall health, I leave it in the LE Diet. Can't hurt. A short, easy to understand version of LE Diet is here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...l-version.html

Caffeine is 100% allowed on LE Diet. I don't think calcium sways pink to begin with and the idea that caff. causes calcium to leach from your body has been totally debunked. In fact, high intake caff seems to sway pink, possibly by reducing sperm count and overall fertility. LE Diet is designed to be vegetarian. It has nothing to do with hormones, your body makes its own hormones out of components in the meat itself. But, if you have a hard time with absorbing iron and prefer to include some meat, that's fine too. You can alter the level of protein intake to be higher if you'd like to. Unlike the other sway diets, this is not a "light switch" approach where if you eat one "bad" food you're ruined. Making changes in a more Low-Everything direction, even if you can't do everything will STILL sway for you.

I don't like Sudafed anyway, I don't think it's safe (there's a full explanation in one of the links I posted)

Temps are not reliable for telling if you're going to conceive a boy or a girl. There's too many things that can affect them and we do not have the info yet to be able to say anything regarding temps.

I prefer people do not use prog cream. I don't think we have the data to even say that prog = girls, it's just one theory and not at all well supported by any data. It may even be that if you supplement with prog, your body starts making testosterone instead. The prog creams are meant for menopausal women, it's not enough prog to sustain a pg, and can really mess up your cycle. And once you start taking them you have to use them every day for the entire first trimester or risk having a miscarriage. A lot of risks for something that is not even proven to sway.

No one thinks you're lazy or stupid for not wanting to do things a certain way, lots of us went thru swaying the IG way and got opposites but it has worked for people. We just want you to hear both sides of the story and then make up your own mind what you think makes the most sense. No one wants to agree because no one really knows what works and what doesn't

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Originally Posted by 3blue?pink

I am just at the point of what really sways?? Diet?? Skipping breakfast?? When I conceived my 1st & 2nd sons I never ate breakfast anyway, it was only shortly before my 3rd I started to eat breakfast. With my 2nd son I lost about 12lb before he was conceived and with my 3rd son I was so low in levels of everything ie. Calcium, B12, Vit D & C, Iron and all sorts that my doctor was soo very angry with the midwives/doctors at the hospital I was seeing for my routine check up's. Also I have an aunty (by marriage) that was a complete health freak and almost looked sick she never ate red meat and SOME time just sometimes chicken, she ate veggies veggies and more veggies and ate such small quantities that I am surprised she was still breathing and over 8 years she had 4 BOYS. So I am sorry if I don't have 100% faith in JUST diet something else has to be a factor

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Diet is just a TOOL we use. It doesn't sway in and of itself, it's a tool we use to send a signal to our body that a boy has a better shot at survival. It is maternal condition as a whole that sways, and if your body "thinks" you're in good condition regardless of diet, you'll have more boys, and vice versa.

There are absolutely other things that matter aside from diet such as your husband's sperm count and quality, your CM, even diseases you may have can sway. And on top of it all, luck has its own role to play. Someone can be 80% likely to conceive a girl and hit those 20% odds. That doesn't mean that diet still isn't the most important sway factor of all.