This is #3 for us due in Dec. and I just turned 26. It will also be our last for sure. I personally didn't want to go past 28 (but that's only because I married at 20, this would have been drastically different if I still wasn't married!)
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This is #3 for us due in Dec. and I just turned 26. It will also be our last for sure. I personally didn't want to go past 28 (but that's only because I married at 20, this would have been drastically different if I still wasn't married!)
Life happens. I feel we can control everything in our life such as where we live, our friends, careers, health, religion. But the one thing we can't control is when we find love and actually get married. As for myself, I didn't get married until I was 28 and didn't have my first until I was 32, second at 34 and ttc for a girl at age 37. I never thought I would be having kids this late in my life. For me I feel an ideal age is 27-34. I do have a hard time with people who have children when they are in their late 40's.
My cutoff age was 35. I had one at 29 and one at 31. When I was 34 neither of us wanted another. Now I am 36 and pregnant, and neither of us is ruling out a 4th. It's amazing how you grow as your children grow and how sometimes your plans all change :)
Why??Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful37
Huh? So if someone "can't control" when they find love and that doesn't happen until mid- late 40's, they just shouldn't have kids? Really?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful37
Or if someone decides to have maybe another child later in life, you have a problem with that? Is it better for the child that he/she is never born?
It may not be your style but having a "problem" sounds very judgmental. I'm sure there are many out there that have a "problem" with you desiring a certain gender. It's really none of their business though, right?!
I'm jumping in because you've struck a chord with me. I am 40 and struggling to conceive my third. My DD is 4 1/2 and my DS just turned 3. The way I read it, you have a hard time...with ME. I don't get it. Like NBP said, this board tries to be non-judgemental, whether over gender preference or high tech. In a nutshell, you have hurt my feelings.
Forgive me here as this doesn't strictly apply to me. Surely women having babies in their 40's in not a recent phenomenon. My grandmother-in-law had her 13th child in her mid-forties. I'm guessing it's been the norm for centuries, especially for large families. I don't see it as a problem at all. Older parents are often a lot more patient, in my experience anyway! I have two friends who had their boys in their early forties.
My own reasons for not having children later on is very specific to my family history. Both my Mum & her sister went through the menopause around 40yrs old and I was terrified that if I left it until my mid-30's, as is more common these days, I might have not conceived very easily - if at all. I was just very lucky to have met dh when I was 18 and ds1 was born when we were 25. I'd like to be finished by 34, so that I can look into fostering once the youngest are in double figures. I'd like one more after this. :D
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I know I'm contradicting myself in a way. When I say late 40's I just think about that child having their parent in while that child is in their 30's. and for that older parent my never get to meet his or her grand kids. I know people are living longer but it is hard to have a parent in their 80's when u are in our 30's.
my husband was a menopause child. His mom had him at 49 and she was just hoping the whole time that see will be alive to see him through high school. She is like, she is still alive at age 82 and her son is 44.
That's all I'm saying. But truly, to each it's own.
Not really, I don't mind but I don't want to wait too long because DP is 16 years my senior (41) and I would not want to have our last child too late because I want him to be around longer to be there for our children and meet as many of his grandchildren as he can.
I'm 25 now and it would be great if I can have my 4th and final in the next few years so my youngest can start school when I am still early 30s. Then I can start the career side of my life 'uninterupted'
I love being pregnant and I wouldn't rule it out for later in life if my circumstances changed (new partner but I like to think that wont be an issue). The sooner the better for me though cos I started young at 21 and feel like I have not had enough time in my life to be selfish so would be great if I could finally travel when the kids are highschool age and older without having to worry about little ones.
I had my first child at 19, my second at 22 and my 3rd at 24. I always thought I was finished. Now, I'm 34 and I want another baby. My issue isn't my age but the age difference between any child I have now and the children I already have. I struggle with "Am I being selfish?" because I want a baby but he/she would be so much younger than the other 3. But I lost my dad to cancer 3 years ago and with that came a realisation that nothing is more important to me than family. As for other people's cutoff? Who are we to judge when a woman feel is the right time to have a baby? A cutoff of 30 may sound good on paper, but in reality, life changes and so do minds.