Found out a week ago that we're having a boy, wanted a girl, was too scared to sway.

I'm also a very girly girl & the mom of 3 AMAZING little boys.
Well, I say little, but one is currently a teenager. He's gone from preschool to grammar school with several of his friends - girl & boy - and I've maintained a friendship with their moms. Guess who is having the hardest time right now? Not the boy moms...lol. My friends with girls cry to me all the time about the hormones & attitudes...meanwhile, my son & the other boys are happy & smiling.
That's purely a generalization...and I'm sure we will have issues to deal with later.

But I guess my point is, PLEASE don't assume ANYTHING...
It's not fair to you or that sweet baby.

Instead of looking at it as a chance to send a strong girl out into the world, why not look at it as an opportunity to establish a HEALTHY mom-son relationship & send a well-mannered, respectful, respectable, young man out into the world.

Please don't waste time being upset right now...enjoy every minute of your pregnancy & go buy something blue :) Pick a name & bond with him. :)

And continue to focus on the future & swaying for a girl...but don't focus so hard that you miss out on enjoying the right now & the new sweet man in your life.

Definitely not judging you...just speaking as someone who has been you. XO
Good luck!!!

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

LE Diet does not have to be junk food. Some people choose to do it that way, others do a version that includes whole grains, fruits and veg.

All that the LE Diet is, is lower calorie, lower fat, lower protein, and fewer nutrients than you were eating previously. That's IT. There are no right or wrong foods and you can include any foods that you like.

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While there were times I could subsist on junk food for a day or so, it was never true junk food. It was cookies or cake or pastries that were always homemade.

For me, when I am eating my natural LE ways, what Atomic wrote best describes how I ate. Lower everything, but nothing that awful.

It still surprises me when people complain that teenage girls are more drama than teenage boys. I remember teenage boys being awful when I was in school. As in, in some extreme cases, sexually harassing girls but then getting away with it because "boys will be boys". Then again, my brother was very good at being charming to my mother, while beating his wife and kids. In any case, peer pressure scares me a lot, that boys are easily pressured into being womanizers and bullies so that they don't get bullied.

We did buy some clothes and we have a name though. Have to admit, the clothes were a challenge. Both boys clothes and girls clothes seem to be a lot about enforcing traditional gender roles (i.e. encouraging boys to be as aggressive as possible), but we did find some good ones.

It comes down to I really have so many bad experiences with men that I'm intimidated by raising one. I was very confident that I'd be a good mother up until the scan last week, now, I feel like I'm going to suck as a mother.

That, and at the end of the day, you can't make anyone, boy or girl, into anything, good or bad. Especially from the teenage years onwards, when peer pressure is likely to be a bigger influence than I could ever hope to be.

I think you just need to concentrate on raising a very strong secure boy (or girl) who knows right from wrong. I'm sorry that you experienced that but absolutely no way is that what all boys are like. I really think once you get that first look at the wee man your thoughts are going to change so much. Ugh boys are just so so sweet

I just couldn't read with out replying, firstly I am so sorry that some of your life experiences regarding males have been so negative. I just want to say that beautiful & precious son growing inside of you will be raised with your values & morals & he has all the abilities to grow into a wonderful boy, teenager & man. Good luck with your parenting journey & enjoy your baby boy.

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Originally Posted by Shakti

Thanks, and I often think that too, that it was better to make sure we're actually fertile before trying swaying. We know several people who took 2 years or more to conceive without swaying, still pleasantly shocked that it happened for us in one cycle! My intuition told me to do that and not sway, and maybe we got a really good son out of it.

The main things I'm struggling with are the terrifying fear that we'll never have a girl. And also, I try so hard to visualize myself with a boy and start bonding with him. In my meditation, I kept seeing a daughter, and still keep seeing her clearly. My husband also had a few dreams about her. As for a boy, I can't see anything at all. Becoming a parent is already scary enough, but there's so many more things that scare me about having a boy than having a girl.

Really conflicted too about if a better strategy is to try and visualize the future with all boys, or to have a good plan worked out to maximise our chance of having a girl next.

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You don't need to worry about the bonding and having not visualised a son. Before their first Birthdays babies are babies, boys and girls act the same. You don't really start to notice gender traits until at least 18 months. My 15 month old twins are still really just babies and not little boys, they do not act like boys yet. You will love him when he comes and you still have two more tries by the sound.
It's sad you are so upset over your first pregnancy, it is really an amazing experience to enjoy and becoming a Mum for the first time and looking into your new babies face is the most amazing experience on earth. I wanted my twins to be girls so much because they were meant to be my last but I have since decided I want another baby anyway because I am still so clucky. You never know what life will bring so there is no point worrying over what might not happen, especially when you are not on your last chance.

Also I think it is quite normal for Women to want to have the chance to 'fix' things that were not right in their lives through their children. That is why I really have a deep desire for a daughter, I was never close to my Mum and want to recreate the Mother/Daughter relationship the way it should be. If I do not get that chance I just have to remind myself that I do not need to have a daughter to prove I am a better mother because I am already doing a better job with my sons. It sounds like now you live in a place very different to where you were brought up so even if you worry about other peoples influence on your son, it will already be better from where you grew up.
Goodluck to you and I hope you can find peace :)

Kids live what they learn...and learn what they live.
Teach them to have morals & high standards & they will.
Boy or girl.

How are you feeling? I have been thinking of you?

Regardless of this being your 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th child its ok to feel the way you're feeling, you wanted a daughter!

Im sorry that you have experienced bad men in your life & like you said your dh is an awesome man, well your son will have his dad as a great role model and a strong mother who will teach him respect.