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I used to say I didn't want a girl but I don't know if people really believed me, probably not, but nobody said anything. Still today people ask me what I would have done if this one wasn't a girl. I just say "well I wasn't gonna let them put it back!" That usually shuts them up...
My intention is to say to anyone who says: "pity he isn't a girl, right", "yeah, you are right, i think i put him on ebay to exchange him for a girl or i'll just sell him"
I think that'll shut them up LOL
I can't imagine someone near me saying that as they all know i adore my sons! But it's the thing i will be afraid of most, especially when i don't know the gender yet.
when I was expecting my third boy I constantly got comments from people that were negative "oh! another boy??!" as if I needed their opinion to feel worse about myself. And I got regular comments about whether I would have a fourth, and "try for a girl this time", as if I could control it!! Now that he is here (20 mths old) he is such great mates with his brothers that I can't imagine if he had been a girl.
But I do want a girl now! Just to have the experience of a daughter. And if I am lucky enough to get pregnant I am waiting for the barrage of comments like "you'll have another boy!!" and "what if you get twin boys this time!" Little do they know there is no chance of a boy this time - I am going HT so it will be girl or the status quo will remain :)
If I did it all over again when I was prego with DD3 I would lie my ass off!
The comments about "OMG, 3 girls! or YOUR POOR DH!!!" were deplorable and I didn't need them making my GD any worse than it already was.
I ALWAYS encourage people having their 3rd of a kind to lie and not tell anyone you don't trust to treat your news well.
I wish I had come up with a list of things like "baby wouldn't cooperate!" Or "we're not finding out!"
If I can ever get prego with DC4 I probably won't tell anyone but Dh and my GD friends. I don't want to hear anyone comments no matter what gender my baby is!!!
Even though religiously 'thou shalt not lie' is a commandment, their is a time and a place for lying to people and this is one perfect example!
^^I know it's crazy...but I am more bothered by the "oh, poor DH with no boys" comments than the comments about multiple boys. I guess because it implies that men don't adore their daughters. Or that he can't teach them sports, fishing, etc. I feel it's crazy sexist. I do realize the comments are much the same...it just bugs me more to hear that side. Lol.
And yeah, I think stretching the truth is totally fine in this case (such as "we didn't find out, baby didn't cooperate, we aren't bothered either way, etc). Because its really none of their business anyway!
I will actually come back at people who comment about me "finally" getting my girl. It's nuts. And the people who think they are okay to say "Oh good, you can be done now." I usually say "oh, we want a baseball team." Lol. (We don't, but we do want one more and always did no matter what baby was).
Frankly, I think no matter what you have, or don't have, someone will say something offensive. I never expected to have to "defend" having a girl after two boys. I figured all the stupid comments (that I needed clever comebacks to) would stop. Wrong-o!! They just changed to different ones. We could prolly fill a whole thread with stupid comments no matter what gender-make-up we have!
I hope you get your girly and need clever responses to those questions instead ;)
Ha ha, well said ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by hotdogz&boyz
Same Hotdogz and Boyz, that one would annoy me too. I loved fishing and my brother hated it! I think if I do find out with number 4 I will keep it a secret because it is enough for me to process on my own without other people 'messing' with my thoughts.
Those who do HT but do not tell anyone, what do you say about gender when you already know?
I will be keeping it secret until the 19 week anatomy scan and then "pretend" to be very excited :) Prior to that I will be using the same old line "as long as it's healthy" which happens to be the most important thing anyway.
And you're right hotdogz&boyz - some people do make stupid responses no matter what your situation because they are just insensitive and insightless - so for those people I will put a polite smile on my face and end the conversation as quickly as possible.... a new baby is always a joy and there is no need to share it with idiots :)
When ever someone we don't know would say 'no boys' I simply say 'no, it didn't bother us, she was our beautiful surprise, we weren't planning on anymore kids, but so glad she's here!! the bit about glad she's here is true though!
They have no idea I was swaying for 12months' ha ha.
I am currently trying to come up with lines to quash these comments before they begin, although some insensitive role have already started. Now I have comments like 'will you keep going until you get a girl?' 'Where you hoping for a girl?'
We always wanted four children but never imagined 3 boys, feel like I am already fighting for him, very sad really, want people to be happy for him as an individual not disappointed because he is my 3rd boy!