Printable View
Unfortunately one of the only ways to control GD is to simply stay away from people and places that trigger it.
Any one who was your friend or truly cared about you would be sensitive to the fact that not everyone in the group has a boy and a girl and change the subject or do something else.
I always feel bad for kids whose parents are so biased against them for something completely beyond their control.
Wow. I think little boys are so sweet. I also believe in Karma and I think this guy will experience it someday.
^^^^What Ocean said. What she said is the exact response I would have! Btw I would love to have twins! Lucky!!
Also, something about this father's attitude is very weird...similar to when I hear mothers act like they hate their daughter(s) and gush over a son. I could be wrong, but in this situation it seems like the parents bonds with the opposite gender child because they view the same-sex child as competition. I know it sounds crazy but I've seen it in real life!! Ex) mothers who are jealous of their daughters' youth and beauty or fathers who are jealous of the attention their son gets from his wife, etc. It really happens. This doesn't strike me as a father just slightly preferring his daughter, which can be normal with the whole Daddy's Girl thing (same as Mama's Boys), because most parents who have a slight preference still show love and affections towards their other child(ren) and are proud of them. This man is acting resentful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adia
Hear hear! Completely agree with Adia
Yes, I am on the West coast - trust me, no one around these parts expresses any desire for a boy! They all want girls that they can dress up like dolls, they talk about how girls outperform boys in school... it's all about the show pony. I used to live in the UK and like a PP said, it is just as bad over there - if I ever look on the website 'Mumsnet' there are dozens of threads about how dreadful boys are and how much preferred DDs are over DSs - and it's not even a GD board!Quote:
Originally Posted by ocean
I was very upset by this "friend" but TBH I shouldn't have been surprised. As I mentioned, their house is covered with model-like shots of their DD, and there are literally none of the boys. The mom is just as bad as the dad with her overt preference for the girl (even though she is a very bratty and entitled child, TBH - she made my DS1 cry by snatching a toy from him, and she is 3 years older than he is!) This mom is always saying how pretty, clever, amazing "my girl" is, and she refers to the twins as the "brutes". Her DDs bedroom is like a pink palace, with a custom-made princess bed... the boys room is pretty plain and undecorated (she claims they would destroy anything nice). It's clear that she wanted a second DD and was obviously unhappy to have twin DSs... two years on and the disappointment has stuck for both parents.
Sigh. It took me back to the day that I took my beautiful boys to the park. The DH of an acquaintance of mine came over to me and started cooing over DS2, who was only a few months old. "She's so beautiful!", he said. When I said: "Thank you! But baby's a "he"!, this guy looked horrified. "I'm so sorry for you!", he said. "I thought you had a girl. Two boys? Wow. Just wow. Unlucky". He shook his head and walked off!
I had walked into that park SO proud of my lovely boys, and then I just wanted to slink off in tears.
Another mom at my DS1's preschool is newly pregnant. She has a DS and she told me - quite openly - that she cried for 2 weeks straight when she found out that he was a boy, even though he was her first child. She has said that she will be "devastated" if her new baby is a second son. Another mom is having her third DD (no DSs)... everyone is telling her how lucky she is, how well she'll be looked after in her old age, how amazing to have three princesses - UGH! What's with all the boy hate all of a sudden? What did my DSs do to deserve this? My DS1 is super sensitive, a rule follower and total sweetheart who takes his "baby" everywhere with him, changes his diaper, feeds him, tells me he loves me 1000 times a day.... and yet he's judged as a lesser being because he has a penis??? Sorry, but it makes me sad and mad :sad:
Where I live there is still a slight preference for boys, particularly having a boy first in the family and then a girl after. I must admit (before I knew anything about gender desire) that I was pretty happy when I had a boy first. I thought I was on my way to a pigeon pair. I got a huge shock when DS2 wasn't a girl because I thought that was how it was "supposed to happen".
Maybe I have been given another couple of boys so that I could realise that there is no one best family structure and that the pigeon pair is not the be all and end all. Each is unique and wonderful and has its own pros and cons. That poor moron and his wife will never have the opportunity to find that out.
I feel sorry for the kids. On one hand the boys for being overlooked, but also the girl. I can guarantee she won't have anything to do with her parents when she is older because they are smothering her and placing unrealistic expectations on her already. She is probably dying to be herself and just fit in with the rest of the kids instead of being put up on some ridiculous pedestal. What a shame that the people who have been given these lovely gifts have made such a mess of it.
I am a lot like some of the other ladies, I must have a *&^%* off look about me because nobody says anything to me about boys V girls. I am waiting for it but it does not happen. And for those ladies who also have that look about them, it is called resting bitchy face. Google it. LOL.
Wow, I know that must have been really tough to sit through but just be glad you are that guy's friend and not one of his sons! For those poor little guys to be subjected to that man's diseased mind is very sad. We are all lucky to have our children, no matter the sex. Good luck to his daughter, too--it isn't healthy for a parent to put you on a pedestal. They're doing her a disservice as well. That man in unfit to parent any children.
Huge hugs to you. I have a very smug friend with the PP who loves to say "you're the only one of us without a girl now" and when she came to visit DS4 after he was born, pointed out yet again how I don't have a girl, and then proceeded to tell me I shouldn't have any more babies and that DS4 wanted to stay 'the baby'. As if its any of her business.
Wow!!! Can't believe all the boy hate.... with a few exceptions in the past, I have never gotten anything but praise and admiration about having boys! And I'm on the east coast in the U.S. I actually think it was worse with DS1, everyone and their uncle wanted him to be a girl, but now after 3 (and dare I say gorgeous lol) boys, all I get is "ohhh soooo cute!!!" and "are they TWINS?" about my youngest 2 with a smile, etc. I have come full circle, with DS1 I felt almost embarrassed to be a boy mom and now I am so incredibly proud. Even comments like "wow you must have your hands full!" don't hurt me like they used to, I'm like "yep, but they are so much fun!" and people just feed off of my positivity. That said, I still VERY much want a dd to add to our family, which is why I'm here. ;)
I'm so sorry about the horrible negativity some of you guys have encountered!! :(
^^Maybe the east coast is better? Cause I certainly would turn fifteen shades of pissed off if someone made those comments to me. My DS2 would get called a girl constantly. He is blonde with long eyelashes and huge brown eyes. And dimples (it's the dimples, I swear!) And when I would correct people, I'd always say "I know HE is adorable/beautiful, he just wins me over me that smile/those eyes/et" and no one once came back with anything negative. In fact, some even went on after that to comment on how neat it was to have two boys who looked so different (my oldest is more classic boy-looking, of course he is handsome too, just in a totally different way! They don't look remotely related). I have lots of friends who have multiple boys (I know three closely who have 3-4 boys and no girls) and other than the random FB comment (one poor mom got "permission" the day her third son was born to have a fourth to have a girl...I woulda gone off on that person. It was on the thread announcing their sons birth. He was a team green.), no one says rude things about boys. I'd have a flip fit if I lived on the west coast. My guys are cool critters and no one better tell me otherwise!!