Family's GD Worse Than Your Own?

just to play devil's advocate here, it also sucks to have the family going "well it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy" and "it will be another boy, boys are GREAT" kind of thing (like I had ever said that boys were inferior or less desirable, it's just that I already have 4 of them, IKYKWIM). I felt like those statements made me feel like a bad person in addition to wanting a girl. I think GD sucks no matter how you slice it and it may just be the case that no one can really ever say the right thing. (except the ultrasound technician haha)

Our first was a girl, then we had a boy... People were disappointed and my MIL even said "looks like we'll have to rely on (sil)..." I couldn't believe the brush off and crystal clear displeasure that our second was a boy. When we came out and told family we were pregnant with #3 we quickly followed it with the 12 week US saying we think it's a boy- even if we thought it was a girl we wanted it set in their mind it was a boy (We were right, it was a boy). They still expressed their disappointment just slightly less open about it that time.

I wish people just wouldn't say anything about it.

Last pregnancy (ended up in loss) everybody was asking if we thought it would be a girl and talked about how much I must want it to be a girl. I found it so stressful and didn't wanna admit or tell anyone how much I actually was hoping for a daughter. People seemed pretty upset when the found out it was actually a girl, but some had the sensibility of adding comments like "not that it would make it easier if it was a boy".

This time people seem to be less gender-focused and most of the ones who know we are pregnant are just wishing for a healthy baby. But to those that ask if I am not hoping for a girl this time too I am just saying something like "well it would be fun, but giving birth to a living and healthy baby is priority" and they don't ask or say anything more about the gender.

I just can't talk about it to friends and family. My husband is the only one knowing about the swaying and I fell bad against my sons for longing for a girl; as if they weren't good enough. (Which they are of course, I know very well my desire for a daughter is totally separated from the enormous love for my sons).

So, I think people are hoping for us to get a daughter (since I know they were last time) but this far the comments aren't that many. Probably will come when/if we find out.

We broke the news to my husband's family and the "it better be a girl" comments were as bad as expected. I had a dream I had the baby and my mom handed the baby to me wearing a girl onesie and I asked "girl or boy?" And she said boy. :rolleyes:
I'm just trying to convince myself I'm having a boy by picking out boy names and reminding myself how fun my boys are in an effort to avoid some serious letdown if a penis is found at that ultrasound.
My oldest is still gunning for a girl but my youngest wants a boy now. I'm glad I'm not alone!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Arimethia

We broke the news to my husband's family and the "it better be a girl" comments were as bad as expected. I had a dream I had the baby and my mom handed the baby to me wearing a girl onesie and I asked "girl or boy?" And she said boy. :rolleyes:
I'm just trying to convince myself I'm having a boy by picking out boy names and reminding myself how fun my boys are in an effort to avoid some serious letdown if a penis is found at that ultrasound.
My oldest is still gunning for a girl but my youngest wants a boy now. I'm glad I'm not alone!

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Isn't it great when its completely obvious that someone has NOT taken your feelings into consideration?? I hate that crap, "it had better be a girl!"....or what? Am i going to have to send the baby back if everyone doesn't approve?
No, you certainly aren't alone on this one!