coping with it all

I totally understand trust me. I get comments all the time. It really surprises me how rude people can be.
It was really hard for me a couple of years ago when my sister had a girl. Here she was with 3 boys not married had a fling with a 20 year old kid. Mind you she's 42. Makes me sick. And was drinking like a fish and smoking. Quit drinking when she was pregnant but still smoked. Why is it she got a girl and I try so hard to eat right don't smoke or drink and I have 6 boys? But on the flip side I do love them all and can't imagine my life without any of them! But would be soooo nice to have a daughter.

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Originally Posted by Twins6boysinall

I totally understand trust me. I get comments all the time. It really surprises me how rude people can be.
It was really hard for me a couple of years ago when my sister had a girl. Here she was with 3 boys not married had a fling with a 20 year old kid. Mind you she's 42. Makes me sick. And was drinking like a fish and smoking. Quit drinking when she was pregnant but still smoked. Why is it she got a girl and I try so hard to eat right don't smoke or drink and I have 6 boys? But on the flip side I do love them all and can't imagine my life without any of them! But would be soooo nice to have a daughter.

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Congrats on your pregnancy, I hope it is your girl :)

I often have people ask if the kids are all mine!!!

Before DH and any thought of babies...I was that cad. My girlfriend had 4 boys, and although I never said anything as awful as "are they all your DH's" I did make comments about 4 boys. Like, "Are you going to try for a girl?" But mostly it I was just so incredulous. Like, "4 boys, that really is incredible!". In hindsight that probably stung, and after I began researching swaying for DS, and reading all the GD stories, I actually hooked up with her one night and apologized. But she really wasn't offended at all (well, she says) and said that she got so used to the comments that they didn't even phase her anymore.

I know you'll never get "used" to the comments the jerks of the world make, but you have to let them bounce off. Accept the fact that most people just don't get how offensive they are. You are better than them!

Yes we should always keep in mind that most people do not mean anything by their offhand remarks, they are probably just not sure what to say and saying the first thing that pops into their mind.

I said a couple things to an unmarried friend of mine (and I did it not once, but TWICE) that I really regret and it was totally because I was nervous and not sure what to say and just blurted out something that in retrospect, I know was probably hurtful (I am a much smoother writer than talker!!). And I don't even THINK in the way that my comment indicated. Jeez, I WISH I was unmarried many times and am actually kind of jealous of the freedom she has, YK??

People just don't think sometimes, or they think they are saying things that help, not realizing how hurtful or how much they can sting. I had a stranger at a restaurant one time come up to me, lean in, and say in my ear (with all my boys present) - I'm so sorry, I know how you feel - my daughter has three boys too. Really?!?!? Yes, having three boys is challenging, but I guarantee my oldest has more daily drama than do most girls his age. It is not just about dirt and noise that is boys. But, I guess people assume with multiple boys mom must have her hands full and with multiple girls dad must own a shotgun - just steryotypes. But it's hard NOT to remember the things that are said to you like that.

It so bugs me when I get the "you must have your hands full... especially with boys." Grr! I know someone with 3 boys and a girl and she reckons the girl makes her pull her hair out more than her three boys combined. It is temprement, not gender that makes a kid 'hard' or not