Blaming myself and very angry too

Cattypad--I'm so sorry I can relate. I still can't believe I'm having DS3. I am still bitter my sway didn't work. I went all out. I also have a regret. We used a little bit of preseed. I still think if we didn't use that I would have my girl. This is also my second boy conceived with one attempt, and my second son was a 3-4 day cutoff (and one attempt as well). Please give it time, I've known since 16 weeks and I'm slowly coming around. I bought a couple cute outfits, spent some time on Pinterest, ect. and I find myself feeling some excitement. Especially when he kicks. Have you heard that song by Garth Brooks about a baby meeting his mother fit the first time? It is a tear jerker and a reminder how precious our boys lives are!!! I've been telling myself that sometimes the greatest gifts in life are unanswered prayers.

I know how you feel. I tried to sway with my second and feel like I messed it up and really blamed myself when I found out it was another boy. But inevitably swaying is just to "sway" the odds, nothing is a guarantee. so, please don't blame yourself. All I can tell you is I was devastated to have another boy but he is now 8 months old and the absolute love of my life! So, now I'm glad I messed up my sway because I can't imagine my life without him. I came here for support after I found out and everyone said "he was meant to be" "there is nothing like the bond brothers have" and I was gracious but thought "blah, blah, blah! I wanted a girl!"

Well, all I can say is I couldn't see it then but they were right! I believe when he is here you will see it, too. The pregnancy hormones make it so much harder. I won't say your desire to have a girl will go away, (mine hasn't) but your new son will bring you more joy than you could ever imagine right now.

I concived my boy day 9 of my 28 day cycle and my girl on day 13 what the clear blue monitor said as my most fertile day first month trying so don't think u have done anything wrong we sway to help are chances u done all you could don't beat yourself up. Hope u feel better soon xx

Thank you all so much for your kind words. They really help.
I am up and down so much, I guess when I am up it's on the denial days.
I have another scan tomorrow.
I am dreading it!. I really wish I could be excited, I promised myself after my horrific first pregnancy I wouldn't do this again!
I will update. Hugs everyone.

Something that helped me before is to see my child as my baby instead of son/daughter.

I looked at newborn pics and thought about what i would feel if someone lay them at my doorstep.

I wouldnt think about gender but just wanting to comfort and cuddle the baby.

Maybe it helps. Your gonna watch your beautifull baby. That sweet little bundle who will love you to death.

I couldnt really think about a boy. While pg. Those hormones suck! I cant picture another boy.
But i could remember the feeling of holding and smelling a newborn.
Its just easyer once you can hold them and it gets to be a person instead of a boy/girl.

I hope you find peace soon.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CattyPad

Thank you all so much for your kind words. They really help.
I am up and down so much, I guess when I am up it's on the denial days.
I have another scan tomorrow.
I am dreading it!. I really wish I could be excited, I promised myself after my horrific first pregnancy I wouldn't do this again!
I will update. Hugs everyone.

---

How did your scan go???


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Crap, I am a mess :(

Attachment 23225

I'm so sorry, Cattypad. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I promise as time passes the news will get a little easier to digest. Hugs!

I am even considering a third now even thought we always wanted just two. But then there is no way I want 3 boys. I am so so so so anxious and I just don't know what to do (i am one of these people that *need* to do something when things dont go to plan, cant just sit and wait) :(

Sweety can't you just keep the option for a third?

After ds 3 wich was supposed to be our last we just left the option for a fourth (and def final)
That gave peace. And made me enjoy my little man (men)
We had An idea when to consider a fourth.
In the end I stalled it and almost had peace just having my three boys.
We said we tried for 6 months if we Could get a girl. In the 5th I got pg with our girl.
But I had made peace with just my boys. Thought it wasn't gonna happen.

In the end just not Closing the door completely made mit possible to enjoy what I had.