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All I can say (having 3 DS myself), is that this little boy in your womb, is going to hold such a giant place in your heart. I suffer from anxiety and depression during pregnancy, and I've had monstrous thoughts during pregnancy that I would never admit to anyone. But you are not the monster, your brain is betraying you, not your heart. These thoughts are not you. You will love that little boy, and 5 years from now (my DS 3 will 5 in two months) you will not be able to imagine your life without him. I promise.
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I'm sorry that you're feeling so low. I second everyone's thoughts and hope you can talk to someone about your feelings right now.
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I'm so sorry you are struggling. I hope you can find support whatever you decide.
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I'm so sorry your feeling like this! Please think long and hard about your decision. What if you go on to have another baby and it's another boy? Would you always wonder about this one? I had some terrible thoughts after hearing DS2 was a boy and I thought all the morning sickness, all the getting fat was for nothing but you know what it really wasn't! He is my "angel boy" and I call him that everyday. I'm not saying the desire for a daughter will go away...it didn't for me but this baby is half of you and a miracle all the same. I'm so Sorry if none of this is helping or what you want to hear but I'm scared for you and don't want you to jump into this without someone at least trying to persuade you to think again and take more time to reconsider. Hope you can get past this dark place hunni!
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I'm so sorry you didn't hear girl and I'm so sorry it hurts so much. I really do understand and I really hope you find some help before you do anything. Please speak to a specialist counsellor or psychologist that deals with prenatal depression as soon as you can- it really helped me when I was in a dark place with GD last pregnancy and helped me get some perspective on the messed up thoughts I was having. Like others have said, that boy is so wonderful and so different to my first and I can't imagine my life without him now. I'm pregnant with a girl now and all I can think of is I hope I love her as much as I do my little boy because sometimes it seems impossible as he is so so special. It's so hard, you are in the darkest of places right now but you will see light again I promise. Don't forget pregnant hormones make everything worse. Love to you
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I'm so sorry sweetheart. I also have 3 sons and my third is such a delightful child. Everyone else has said all I can say. Be kind to yourself now. :Flower:
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I am very sorry you didn't hear girl today. Please do think long and hard before making any irreversible decisions though, once it's done you can't take it back. My friends mother gave me some advice when I found I was carrying DS2:
"You will never regret having a child, you'll regret the not having them."
It's so very true. I had prenatal anxiety and suffer currently with post natal anxiety so I can relate. Everything is worse with pregnancy hormones, please try talk to an impartial third party and don't worry about being judged.
Make the decision that is right for you and your family, just make sure that whichever way to choose to go you won't look back and wonder 'what if' in years to come. Wishing you and your baby the best.
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I pray that you chose not to have the abortion. I have had one (not because of gender) when I was younger and it was the hardest thing to EVER forgive myself for.
I just found out today that I am having my 5th boy and although there is disappointment, I know I will love him as much as I love my other 4. I pray that you find peace in whatever you decide but know you will find love for this little one.
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I felt just like you and had the termination booked I did not do it DS4 is here now and 9 months it took time but I love him and am glad I had him. I feel really guilty for nearly doing it and I worry that it will make your depression worse. Please get some help I did and it was the best decision I could have made. Please let us know how you are. Lots of love.xxxxxxxxxx
