Confused about timing of intercourse!

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Originally Posted by fox

Oooh, I see! So every other day leading up to O, then multiple attempts after O.

Why is there so much contradictory information out there?!

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Because all the other sites get their information from the old debunked Shettles idea and you can read about that in the "Trouble with timing" essay. We operate under a different paradigm here based on newer science - the Trivers Willard Hypothesis, the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis, and blood glucose levels. The other swaying theories only appeared to work because they sometimes mimicked the circumstances that actually swayed (like eating lots of meat does tend to sway blue).

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Originally Posted by fox

One more question! Should DH abstain from...uh...pleasuring himself (lol!)? If so, for how long?

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If you're not having regular sex, he can. If you're going for the unprotected attempts every 2-4 days, then like True said, he shouldn't.

You are trying to avoid long periods of abstain and long periods of release in a row.

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Originally Posted by fox

Thank you so much for your help! Seriously. Maybe we'll hear blue together!

I'll have to tell DH to not do that, haha! 3-5 attempts seems like a loooooot in just a few days.

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The interesting thing and food for thought is that it is not unusual at all for those of us with lots of boys to have that much sex just regularly. And then the blue swayers (as a general rule) do not have sex anywhere near as often. So if you normally never have sex more than one time in your fertile window (O-3 thru O day) then that is definitely something to focus on changing.

It's easy to get the three :) as we were DTD every other day we managed to have an attempt the night before +OPK then we DTD the night of +OPK & the following evening so we got 3 attempts in. We unfortunately didn't get another attempt like I had planned, the +opks put DH under a bit of pressure.

What's funny is when we're NOT swaying and charting, that seems pretty normal. But I think what happens during the sway is we over think it and end up DTD too little or too much in the wrong window!

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Originally Posted by True Blue

It's easy to get the three :) as we were DTD every other day we managed to have an attempt the night before +OPK then we DTD the night of +OPK & the following evening so we got 3 attempts in. We unfortunately didn't get another attempt like I had planned, the +opks put DH under a bit of pressure.

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TrueBlue, does your H get stage fright? My H doesn't like to know when the OPKs are positive because it makes him feel like he has to "perform" thus, making things not work.

Yes it's exactly that :) in our case DH was very much into the sway and had asked all the right questions, great yes, but it meant as soon as the every other day pattern changed he was fully aware why :D
He asked about the OPKs every day until they turned + and was quite excited but it had a negative impact then for the actual DTD.

I have had a few ladies who actually had to tell little white lies about when it was go time! :) Not unusual at all.