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On the "do what he does" are you talking about him releasing himself or BD as often as he wants? If it is the latter then protected or not? DH has a pretty high drive and if he had it his way we'd BD everyday... sometimes more than once a day, lol. Which, if unprotected kinda blows the "one attempt" out of the water. If protected, then that is kinda what I was talking about with just using a condom all month until our one attempt... though *I* didn't mean everyday. I just meant kinda doing what we would normally do if not TTC, but just use a condom. Frequency of "what we normally do" varies based on my own sex drive, though. Could be daily, could be 1-2 times a week and everything in between. I am willing to do whatever I need to to sway... even if I am not in the mood and even if it means BD'ing a couple times a day.. though they'd both be evening because DH goes to work at 5am and doesn't get home until 7 pm 6 days of the week.... don't know if that would factor in at all but figured I'd mention it just in case. Whatever you think is best is what we will do... except the abstain as like I said, DH isn't too thrilled with that and he'd never make it lol. He was going nuts having to wait after my D&C...
As far as OPKs here are my stats on how much warning I generally get. There is a first time for everything but I have never not had at least 1 +OPK when testing. There aren't many cycles where I used OPKs as I only started useing them the last couple months TTC'ing my second (TTC'd 2 years but wasn't until then that I learned about internet cheapy OPKs), then to TTC my 3rd, 4th, and now this cycle which sounds like a lot of cycles given the chunk of time but when you factor that for me, esp back then, 5 months of TTC could mean only 3 cycles.
8 cycles
4 days: 1
3 days: 2
2 days: 4
1 day: 1
ETA: "days" include the day ov ovulation. So, for example, the cycle I only got 1 day, it was the day of ovulation.
Again... don't know if it will help but I figure having as much info as possible can't hurt.
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Either, or, or a combo of the two. It just means to kinda leave the ball in his court on that and not put any pressure on him because that is one thing that isn't really seeming to do a whole lot beneficial anyway, and it's a big source of contention for couples with swaying.
I'd probably use protection if not doing every 4 day method though.
What you'd want to avoid are long periods of abstain (longer than 5 days) and then also long periods of daily or more than daily BD 7-10 days, and even up to 4-5 in a row may deplete the swimmers) Not because these things sway blue but because they are probably going to cut odds of conception considerably.
RE the OPK, there is really not a strong pattern to them. People are seeming to get results all over the map with them and not any kind of real pattern developing. I think you're best off either DTD u nprotected every 4 days or doing one attempt the night of your FIRST positive, even if you get a darker test later on, and even if the positives last for several days. After you have that one attempt, you can start up the every 4 days even after that if you weren't doing it before, this way you'll be covered in case of a fake surge - by continuing attempts even after you think you've Oed, you won't miss the month in case of delayed ovulation. :)
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Thanks a ton for the info. It is very helpful :D I'll talk it over with DH and see if we can reach a consensus :D
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oh.. and if we do either method I already know at some point this question will come up... Ok, so hypothetically speaking DH and I do our one attempt (or our every 4 days falls in such a way that the same occurs) and it ends up being a long surge. (still hypothetical) BD was 4 days ago and I am ovulating today... do we BD again? As that would technically be 2 attempts within the fertile window...
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If you're due for your attempt, have it, even if it's O day. BD 4 days before O and also O day have surprisingly low odds of conception (so it is probably a good idea to have attempt ust for that reason) and also because if there was anything left from the first go-round, it would already have fertilized the egg before the second batch could capacitate, and if not, the second batch was needed anyway (hope that makes sense, a bit hard to explain)
If you're just at a loss what to do, this is a bit of a play-it-by-ear kind of thing. You can look back at that prev. attempt and decide if it was a "good" one n which case you may want to stick with the one, or even flip a coin if you really can't make up your mind. We don't have the data yet to really know and so I have to leave that decision in your hands.
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Makes perfect sense :) Thanks.
